The Wife Desired Has a Sense of Humor

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The Wife Desiredby Fr. Leo Kinsella, 1950’s
A person may have a sense of humor without being a professional humorist or comedienne. Relatively few are gifted to travel in this rarefied air. It is more difficult to write humor than scientific treatises. One obvious proof of this is that there are libraries full of scientific books while works of humor are few.

One person is able to appreciate or even be enthralled by a sunset.
Another is able to put the sunset down on canvas and thus convey it to others. One can love music. Another can create it. The second person is an artist. It takes special talents, the right environment, and application to bring about an artist. Comparatively speaking, real artists are rare. Although we could use more of them, yet life would become unbearable if all people became artists. God keeps a balance in nature. All birds cannot be singing canaries, and we are happy for it.

Not many wives can be humorists or comediennes. Again, for this we can be grateful. But wives can have a sense of humor. They can have the fine perception of seeing things in their true perspective.

A sense of humor is the faculty of being able to see through things, to see the real worth of things. It could be called a sense of equilibrium. Not being lopsided herself the woman with a sense of humor can detect the lopsided. Because her vision is in focus, she can see and enjoy the incongruous.

A flower or a sunset is a reflection of a spark, so to speak, of God.
But these beautiful things are not a part of God: so, a sense of humor keeps even the artist from going daffy over flowers and sunsets and becoming a Pantheist. The wife may feel strongly about flowers and sunsets, but she doesn’t lose her sense of balance and become too serious about them.

The most serious thing in life is sin. Food, drink, and gold are just materials to keep us alive, means whereby we work out our eternal destiny. They exist for us. When we begin to exist for them and become gluttons and misers, we sin. We lose our sense of humor.
Our ability to see through things, our sense of humor, prevents us from getting too serious over gold, roast beef, and martinis.

A sense of humor might be likened to a sort of casual sense of balance. It is mental relaxation. The bane of all athletes is to “tighten up.” to get too serious over hitting home runs, high diving, and so forth. As soon as a golfer or bowler “tightens up,” she is off her best form. A person without a sense of humor has a sort of mental “charley-horse.” She “tightens up” mentally to the extent that her brain becomes sort of lame, unable to see things in their proper perspective.

Many years ago an effort was made to involve me as referee in a sort of neighborhood civil war. Little junior, let us call him Willie Baxter, was three years old and full of lemonade one day. He wandered two doors down the street under the window of an aged spinster. With a reputation of being a neighborhood crab she lived alone on the second floor of her two-flat building. She had had her eye on Willie before he began to poach on her property. As he began to pick flowers under her window, she was all ready for this affront with a pail of water. Willie was not too sure what happened, but his instincts told him that it was time to high tail it for home.

Before he could reach home base, the defender of public morals and private property had Willie’s mother on the telephone blessing her out. Willie arrived looking as if he had just swum the Channel. His appearance spurred mother on to a more direct contact with the assailant of her child. She ended up a few safe yards from the spot of Willie’s dastardly act and entered a screaming contest with the old lady.

By this time the old retired fireman on the first floor came to life from a nap. Thinking that the building surely was on fire, he rushed out the side door with a pail of water. Misinterpreting the designs of the erstwhile firefighter, the young mother beat a hasty retreat to her home. She felt that at least one of the Baxters should keep her powder dry. In the meantime Willie had pretty much become used to his soggy breeches and was having another glass of lemonade. Mother could carry on and finish the feud. Willie felt that he had done his bit in starting it.

Willie’s mother lacked a sense of humor or at least lost it momentarily. Instead of sitting down and having a good laugh over the lesson, which her little Willie had learned the easy way, she lost her sense of perspective and ruined her disposition for the rest of the day. Unwittingly, of course, she provided high comedy for the neighbors. The world is full of unremunerated comediennes.

Willie’s mother went so far as to attempt to enlist her husband’s support in feuding with the old lady. I am afraid that she even tried to nag him into “putting in his two cents.” He, however, seemed to know that the poor old lady was a character and that little Willie received no mortal hurt. In fact, I would not be surprised if he did not have to force back a few chuckles over the episode in the bringing up of Willie.

Anyone can understand that her mother’s instincts might carry her away at first. A sense of humor would bring back balance as the hours passed. She would begin to see the humorous side of the episode and bear no resentment against the spinster. She would have been spared the nuisance of contending for hours and days with revengeful thoughts.

If people are fortunate to be able to recover their mental equilibrium through a sense of humor, twice blessed are those who can see the humor of situations as they are developing. These wonderful people are a joy to themselves as well as to all who are privileged to know them. A young woman who possesses this crown of spiritual growth is a pearl of great price.

If it is dangerous to get too serious over roast beef or gold or martinis, it is fatal to get too serious over oneself. The devil certainly lacked a sense of humor when he vaunted himself in the face of God. He took himself just a little bit too seriously and laughter went out of his life forever. The light bearer before the God of life became the demon of the shadows of death.

Life is not a stage for buffoons. It is deadly serious. We walk a tight rope between heaven and hell. Of ourselves we can never make it. As long as we keep our faces turned up to God and our hands in His, we shall not lose our nerve and fall. Only those fall who think themselves to stand by their own merits.

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Character Building – Beautiful Girlhood

from Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale

“Let every man take heed how he buildeth.”*

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The most precious earthly treasure a girl can have is character. Her character is what she really is. If she will look beyond what she appears to be, and what people think of her, and look at her heart fairly and honestly, judging herself by the standards of right and wrong to which her own conscience gives sanction, then she can know whether she has a good character.

When a girl is misunderstood and misjudged, it is comforting to know that deep in her heart she has been true. But it will rob even her friends’ praises of the real pleasure if, in her heart, she knows she has been untrue.

Character is not given to us; we build it ourselves. Others may furnish the material, may set before us the right standards and ideals, may give us reproof and correction, may guide our actions and mold our thoughts—but after all, we build our own character. It is we, ourselves, who take of the influence about us, copy the ideals, reach the standards, and make ourselves what we are.

Youth is the building time. From infancy, throughout childhood, material has been brought together which we may use in our building. There are home influences and teachings, moral and intellectual instructions received in school, religious precepts and counsels of church, the moral standards of our childhood’s playmates, the characters of the men and women we know, and countless other avenues by which instruction has come to us, bringing material which we may use in our building.

The girl who has been reared in a Christian home, and by careful, watchful parents, has a far better opportunity to build a good character than she whose life has been less guarded.

It is in the days of youth that this assembled material is built into character. The nature is then pliable, and habits are more easily formed and more easily broken than in later years. Day by day the girl, whether conscious of what she is doing or not, is taking of the material which she has about her, and is putting it into her character.

Truth or falsehood, honesty or deceit, love or hatred, honor or reproach, obedience or rebellion, good or bad, day by day the building is going on. Through her infancy and childhood her parents have been responsible for her conduct; but now, when she has reached these important years, their responsibility is lessening and hers is increasing.

Sometimes girls who have been quite submissive and obedient through childhood become independent and rebellious at this period, building into their characters that which is a lifelong regret. But contrariwise, others who have been unruly as children now wake to their responsibility and begin laying into their building those things that are good, upright, honest and noble. But more often she who has learned to obey in her childhood builds the better character.

Character building is a serious undertaking. You would never guess it by watching the foolish behavior of some girls. Sometimes I have wondered that to youth should be given the responsibility of laying the foundation of life’s character, just when the heart is the gayest and the thoughts the least settled.

But if the responsibility came later, it would be at a time when the help of parents and teachers is not to be had. The builder would then have to work alone, while now she has many helpers. And since to youth is given such a serious undertaking, ought not our girl to take earnest thought to what she is doing, that no wrong material is placed in her building?

Can she afford, for the sake of present fun and frolic, to place in her building that which will give her weakness all through her life?

Character building goes on every day. There is not a day that does not tell for good or bad. Each sees another stone in the building, hewn straight and true, or all misshapen and crooked.

If temptations have been resisted and obstacles overcome, if evil thoughts and feelings have been quenched, and kind and noble thoughts encouraged in their place, then a stone has been hewn for victory and right.

But if temptations have been yielded to, and evil thoughts and feelings have been harbored and cultivated, if wrong motives have been allowed, then the stone is unfit for a good building. So, as the days go by, the builder sorts out and uses of the material at hand that which is put into the character which shall be hers through life.

A pattern is needed. No dressmaker would undertake a garment without some idea of how it should look when finished. She must by some means form in her mind the picture of the dress as it is to be when it is done. Nor would she undertake a lady’s cloak by a kimono pattern. She would ask for a perfect pattern to work by.

A carpenter would not start a building until he first had a draft which made clear to his mind just how the finished edifice should look. More than that, he would ask for a perfect pattern of every part of the building, so that he might have it correct all the way through.

No character is built good and true if the builder has not in her mind a picture of the woman she wants to be. And the pattern for a good character must be chosen carefully. The carpenter will not undertake a pretty cottage from the print of a barn, nor can a girl build a good, true character if she patterns after those whose lives are not good and true.

She who has an ideal character is first of all pure and true, then earnest and sincere, patient and gentle, and more ready to serve than to be served. It is easier to build a bad than a good character. One can always go downhill with less difficulty than up, and glide with the current than row against it, and it is easier to drift with the crowd than to stand for the right.

The bad character grows without effort. Just to be careless and indifferent to consequences may be the cause of downfall in one who would like to be noble. They who fall have been weak, for good character is strong.

Choose well as the days go by. Build for all time, not just for present pleasure. What you are building will bring you praise and satisfaction all your life, or it will be your curse and disgrace.

Keep your measuring rod at hand and use it without stint. Reject all that falls short, no matter how pleasant it may look. “Is it right?” “Would it be for my good?” “Does it meet the approval of my parents or teachers?” “Is it forbidden?” are questions which you should be continually asking yourself as you decide what to do and what to leave undone.

Many things that are fun end in wrong, much that seems pleasurable after awhile comes to be evil, and everything like this should be rejected without hesitation. To do right will often cost a struggle, but it is always worth the effort.

We dare not allow ourselves to be continually guided by what others do. Christ is our Perfect Pattern, and only those who form their lives after Him are building the best character. He is the one great Pattern for us, His children.

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The Task of the Woman in the Modern World

Pamphlet from the National Catholic Rural Life Conference in 1946 concerning the function of woman in the social order. Its message is applicable today, to help a Christian “woman know her power, her role, her destiny” in today’s world.

National Catholic Rural Life Conference, 1946, written by Janet Kalven

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“THE important thing for a country is that the men should be manly, the women womanly.” This comment of Chesterton’s embodies a fundamental principle of social order. In society, as in any organism, unity and order are achieved through the cooperation of very different members, each fulfilling his own functions and contributing his special qualities to the common good.

The deepest difference among human beings–far more fundamental than any difference of intelligence or ability, nation or race– is the difference of sex. “And God created man to His own image: to the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

This basic difference is not merely physical but also psychological, coloring the total personality. In the whole range of her being–her mind, her senses, her emotions, her will, her interests and reactions–woman differs profoundly from man.

It is obviously of the greatest importance that this difference find its proper expression in the social functions of the two sexes. Each has unique qualities to contribute to the enrichment of human life. It is essential for the full and harmonious development of society, and especially for a Christian society, that “the men should be manly, the women womanly.”

Man and woman are made to complement each other at every point. Man’s capacity for theory, for forming an abstract and comprehensive view, is matched by woman’s practical sense and her gift for detail.

Man’s ambition and self-assertion which spur him on to great achievement must be balanced by the creative power of woman’s spirit of sacrifice and self-surrender. Man’s ability for leadership and desire for power must be tempered by woman’s spirit of love and selfless devotion.

The undue predominance of either masculine or feminine qualities creates profound disturbances which reverberate throughout the entire social structure, as we can see in our own culture.

In our time we need women with a vision of their great task as women who will help to restore the social equilibrium by creating a vital current of the great womanly virtues: the spirit of love, compassion for the suffering, generous self-sacrifice.

As women our fundamental contribution to the new order lies in finding our proper role in society. Our most urgent task in the work of reconstruction is to face this problem: What is the function of woman in the social order?

The Universal Mission of Woman

Woman’s essential mission in the world is to be for mankind a living example of the spirit of total dedication to God. To love God with her whole heart, her whole mind, her whole strength, and to radiate that love to the world—this is the universal task of woman. It is true that every human being is made for the love of God and is meant to be totally consecrated to His praise. In what sense, then, can we say that it is the particular mission of woman to be both an example and guide of man along the way of dedication?

There are two poles, two principles in human nature. Father Gerald Vann, O.P., in his recent book, The Heart of Man, distinguishes these two basic tendencies as “man the maker” and “man the lover.” Both principles are present to some extent in every human being, but man the maker is realized most perfectly in man; man the lover in woman. It is the maker who asserts, who imposes his idea and his will on the surroundings. The race takes its forward motion along the way of organization and invention from him. It is man the lover who gives, who yields his own will and gladly surrenders not only his will but his very self to the beloved.

Mankind has always recognized that love plays a far greater role in woman’s life than in man’s. Every woman when she looks into her own heart finds there the deep desire to surrender herself completely in love. Woman is by nature total in her giving; love absorbs her whole being. Byron was expressing the common experience of mankind when he wrote:

“Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart
‘Tis Woman’s whole existence.”

In relation to God, we must all fulfill the role of the lover, awaiting the divine initiative, surrendering completely to the divine will. As C. S. Lewis writes so beautifully, “Our role must be always that of patient to agent, female to male, mirror to light, echo to voice. Our highest activity must be response, not initiative. To experience the love of God in a true and not an illusory form is therefore to experience it as our surrender to His demand, our conformity to His desire.”

Christian tradition has often expressed man’s relation to God in the beautiful phrase: the soul is the bride of Christ. But woman’s nature has the greater innate affinity for the bridal role, for the act of loving surrender.

That is why woman has been throughout Christian history a symbol and example of the spirit of complete consecration to God. Woman’s natural capacity for wholehearted giving of herself in love is the basis for her glorious supernatural vocation. It is her function to help to lead mankind to God by becoming herself a radiant example of total dedication to His will.

The lover’s surrender opens the way for the action of God’s grace in the world. “The world can be moved by the strength of man, but it can be blessed in the real sense of the word only in the sign of woman,” writes Gertrude von Le Fort.

It is first of all to Our Lady that these words apply. In her, the universal mission of woman, the lover, was fulfilled most completely. Her “fiat” is the perfect expression of the creature’s wholesouled surrender to the creator, and through her surrender the fullness of blessing entered into the world. These words may be applied, too, to the universal task of womankind, for it is the function of every woman to re-echo the “fiat” of Mary and thus to become a source of blessing to humanity.

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Practical Expectations – Cleaning the Clutter

I get a lot out of Emilie Barnes’ ideas for taking care of clutter and organizing your life and your home. Here are a few tidbits for you to take to heart and incorporate into your hectic schedule….to make it less hectic! :)

101 Way to Clean Out the Clutter – Emilie Barnes

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Unfinished Business

Do you ever feel like you’re running in circles? Do you put off new pursuits because you are spending your precious time juggling projects that are never completed?

Make a list of five projects you would love to finish. Tackle these one at a time. You’ll find that as you clear away the unfinished business, you’ll be free to reach for new pursuits.

Don’t delay your goals and aspirations. Which terminal projects are eating up the most time? Give yourself an absolute deadline to complete each one or consider letting go of the project altogether.

Which projects are the most overwhelming and which have the highest priority? If you take care of a couple that are time sensitive, you’ll give yourself breathing room and a sense of accomplishment.

Consider the ones that absolutely must get done because others are counting on them or because they have a deadline. There’s your starting place!

Practical Expectations

It’s nice to want things done right, but not if you’re crippled by the pressure. High expectations can lead to inactivity when you’re overwhelmed. By all means do the best job you can do in a reasonable amount of time. However, don’t get bogged down by perfectionism.

You may know the difference in the finished product, but your friends and guests probably won’t know or care if it’s not perfectly done.

If you’re preparing for guests, determine the cleaning that must be done versus the cleaning you want to get done. You’ll find that if you clean the areas your guests will be visiting and just tidy other areas, you’ll have a very welcoming environment.

Always keep in mind that you want your home to be inviting, not sterile and immaculate. Aim for inviting rather than ideal, and you’ll enjoy the time before and during your guests’ visits. You’ll be a much more sane hostess.

Break It Up

To accomplish a big task, break it into a few smaller parts—these become “instant tasks” that you can easily handle. It’s the big items that throw us and leave us in a panic.

Think of one project that you have put off because it seemed too big to take on after a busy day or in the middle of a hectic one.

For example, let’s choose cleaning out the refrigerator as your dreaded project. Can you give it 15 minutes? Even the craziest of days usually have a few breaks in them that could be put to good use.

Set a timer and work like mad for those 15 minutes evaluating leftovers, checking expiration dates, and wiping off shelves.

Tomorrow, set the timer and toss out old vegetables, refresh the ice trays, and rinse the meat and produce bins. In a day or two you’ll have invested two or three 15-minute sessions and completed the larger task of cleaning your refrigerator.

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When Are You Most Productive?

Each of us operates efficiently at different times of the day. Pay attention to when you feel the most energetic and alert. Take a few days to observe which time periods and what parts of each day are best for you when it comes to cleaning, working, juggling multiple tasks, focusing on one, and being creative.

It might help to write out what you observe—it could be surprising. Maybe you always linger over breakfast and dishes to draw out the morning when it’s actually your most energetic time and should tackle a couple work projects.

Don’t use this awareness as an excuse to not perform well during your off period of the day. Instead, use it to be good to yourself and to enhance your life, productivity, sense of balance, and enjoyment.

Schedule taxing chores for the hours when your mind is sharpest. Do the physical chores when you have the most energy. File papers or sweep the floor when you need a task that doesn’t require too much thought and evaluation. This principle is good for work as well as at home.

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The Wife Desired Senses What is Needed

The Wife Desired by Father Leo J. Kinsella, 1950’s

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A real man likes to picture his wife as one with spirit and bounce. Because she is intelligent with a mind of her own she knows when to maintain a principle, when to be roguish and sportive. Gifted with imagination she can give herself to the game of intriguing her husband. Always she is exciting and vivacious.

The wife loves a little compliment here and there herself, so she knows the value of this form of encouragement. Incidentally, in most marriages heading for the rocks the couples exchange no compliments. Just the opposite is true between people who seem still to have some sort of possessive love for each other.

I do not suppose there exists a married couple who could not concentrate upon and draw up a list of each other’s shortcomings. The wise wife knows that there is no future in this mean indoor sport. She counts her blessings. She makes her husband’s good points the foundation upon which she strives to help him build improvements.

The ideal wife does not mother her husband. Yet she knows that he stands alone only with difficulty. Physical or mental pain may drive him to her. She knows how to accept him then with feeling.

Toward the end of his days a man can look back upon his life and find no greater accomplishment than his full success as a husband and father. All his varied activities possessed significance, really meant something only in relation to his role as husband and head of the house.

If he had great success in the cheap sense of the word and became very rich, but was a failure as a husband, what contentment is there in the last recollections of his life? What success, real or fictitious, can compensate for his failure as a husband?

No woman can escape sharing her husband’s misery or his contentment and peace. If she has contributed to his making, to her comes the reward of real happiness. No wife hurts her husband more than she hurts herself. No wife makes her husband happier than she makes herself.

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Intimate Conversation With Christ

from Conversation With Christ, 1956

Beautiful and encouraging words that will help us to  converse with Christ, Who is waiting for us….

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The published prayers of saints and spiritual writers have a definite value in the spiritual life – they demonstrate a method and outline for conversation with Our Lord. But Christ would be sorely disappointed were we to hide behind the words of these prayers.

Our Blessed Lord wishes us to talk to Hm in our own words and with our own expressions, as awkward and as ungrammatical as they may be. When the moment for our conversation with Christ arrives, He wants to hear our words and our sentiments. Nothing more is required; nothing less would be satisfactory.

St Teresa comments on this:

With regard to the habit of conversing often with your Divine Spouse, be confident that he will suggest to your heart what to say. You are not embarrassed when you speak to His creatures, why should words fail you when you wish to speak to your God? Do not believe that will happen to you; for my part, at least, I look on that as impossible if you have acquired the habit of this interior conversation with Our Lord.

The soul can picture itself in the presence of Christ, and accustom itself to becoming enkindled with great love for His sacred humanity and to have Him ever with it and speak with Him, ask Him for the things it has need of, make complaints to Him of its trials, rejoice with Him in its joys and yet never allow its joys to make it forgetful of Him, It has no need to think out set prayers but can use just such words as suit its desires and needs.

St. Teresa make her point deftly: if we can talk to our acquaintances, why can we not talk to Christ? No one requires training in the art of conversation; it is a natural habit acquired early in life. Well enough, then! Let us apply our natural facility for conversation to this colloquy with Christ.

Our Lord has expressed our relationship to Him in quite human terms – “I call you now not servants, but friends”; He expects us to fulfill our part of the relationship in the most common act of friendship, intimate conversation.

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Tidbits for Today

“Who shall blame a child whose soul turns eagerly to the noise and distraction of worldliness, if his parents have failed to show him that love and peace and beauty are found only in God?” – Mary Reed Newland

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“A desire to be beautiful is not unwomanly. A woman who is not beautiful cannot properly fill her place. But, mark you, true beauty is not of the face, but of the soul. There is a beauty so deep and lasting that it will shine out of the homeliest face and make it comely. This is the beauty to be first sought and admired. It is a quality of the mind and heart and is manifested in word and deed. A happy heart, a smiling face, loving words and deeds, and a desire to be of service, will make any woman beautiful.” – Mable Hale

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The tongue is an unruly member, and until it is brought into control by the girl herself, it is ever liable to get her into trouble. If the old rule to “think twice before you speak once” can be remembered and obeyed, much trouble and heartache will be avoided. -Mabel Hale

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“The bone-dry definitions in the catechism are as essential as the recipe for the cake, but if we put them together with imagination and enthusiasm, and add love and experience, then set them afire with the teaching of Christ, His stories, His life, the Old Testament as well as the New, and the lives of the saints, we can make the study of catechism a tremendous adventure.”
-Mary Reed Newland.

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“God does the work, but He must have the opportunity. We can’t possibly reveal all His secrets to our children. We can’t illuminate their souls beyond the point of a kind of charting. Grace does the illuminating, and through grace, they will discover the joy of a life lived in union with God. We work with grace toward this union when we teach our children to be still, to listen, to wait, to love.”
-Mary Reed Newland, Raising Good Catholic Children, 1950’s

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The woman was given a different assignment, that of helpmeet, mother, homemaker. In Fascinating Womanhood we apply the word helpmeet to mean the role of the wife as she offers understanding, encouragement, support, and sometimes help. Since she is biologically created to bear children, her role as a mother is unquestioned. Her homemaking role is assumed: She must nurture her young and run the household, to free her husband to function as the provider. -Helen Andelin

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If Love Does Not Climb, It Falls – Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

From Three to Get Married, Fulton J. Sheen

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1. The Differences Between Sex and Love

Love is primarily in the will, not in the emotions or the glands. The will is like the voice; the emotions are like the echo. The pleasure associated with love, or what is today called “sex,” is the frosting on the cake; its purpose is to make us love the cake, not ignore it.

The greatest illusion of lovers is to believe that the intensity of their sexual attraction is the guarantee of the perpetuity of their love.

It is because of this failure to distinguish between the glandular and spiritual–or between sex which we have in common with animals, and love which we have in common with God–that marriages are so full of deception. What some people love is not a person, but the experience of being in love.

The first is irreplaceable; the second is not. As soon as the glands cease to react with their pristine force, couples who identified emotionalism and love claim they no longer love one another.

If such is the case they never loved the other person in the first place; they only loved being loved, which is the highest form of egotism.

Marriage founded on sex passion alone lasts only as long as the animal passion lasts. Within two years the animal attraction for the other may die, and when it does, law comes to its rescue to justify the divorce with the meaningless words “incompatibility,” or “mental torture.”

Animals never have recourse to law courts, because they have no will to love; but man, having reason, feels the need of justifying his irrational behavior when he does wrong.

There are two reasons for the primacy of sex over love in a decadent civilization.

One is the decline of reason. As humans give up reason, they resort to their imaginations. That is why motion pictures and picture magazines enjoy such popularity. As thinking fades, unrestrained desires come to the fore.

Since physical and erotic desires are among the easiest to dwell upon, because they require no effort and because they are powerfully aided by bodily passions, sex begins to be all-important. It is by no historical accident that an age of anti-intellectualism and irrationalism, such as our own, is also an age of carnal license.

The second factor is egotism. As belief in a Divine Judgment, a future life, heaven and hell, a moral order, is increasingly rejected, the ego becomes more and more firmly enthroned as the source of its morality.

Each person becomes a judge in his own case. With this increase of selfishness, the demands for self-satisfaction become more and more imperious, and the interests of the community and the rights of others have less and less appeal. All sin is self-centeredness, as love is otherness and relatedness.

Sin is the infidelity of man to the image of what he ought to be in his eternal vocation as an adopted son of God: the image God sees in Himself when He contemplates His Word.

There are two extremes to be avoided in discussing married love: one is the refusal to recognize sexual love, the other is the giving of primacy to sexual attraction.

The first error was Victorian; the second is Freudian.

To the Christian, sex is inseparable from the person, and to reduce the person to sex is as silly as to reduce personality to lungs or a thorax.

Certain Victorians in their education practically denied sex as a function of personality; certain sexophiles of modern times deny personality and make a god of sex. The male animal is attracted to the female animal, but a human personality is attracted to another human personality.

The attraction of beast to beast is physiological; the attraction of human to human is physiological, psychological, and spiritual.
The human spirit has a thirst for the infinite which the quadruped has not. This infinite is really God. But man can pervert that thirst, which the animal cannot because it has no concept of the infinite.
Infidelity in married life is basically the substitution for an infinite of a succession of finite carnal experiences. The false infinity of succession takes the place of the Infinity of Destiny, which is God. The beast is promiscuous for an entirely different reason than man. The false pleasure given by new conquests in the realm of sex is the ersatz for the conquest of the Spirit in the Sacrament! The sense of emptiness, melancholy, and frustration is a consequence of the failure to find infinite satisfaction in what is carnal and limited. Despair is disappointed hedonism The most depressed spirits are those who seek God in a false god!

If love does not climb, it falls. If, like the flame, it does not burn upward to the sun, it burns downward to destroy. If sex does not mount to heaven, it descends into hell. There is no such thing as giving the body without giving the soul. Those who think they can be faithful in soul to one another, but unfaithful in body, forget that the two are inseparable.

Sex in isolation from personality does not exist! An arm living and gesticulating apart from the living organism is an impossibility. Man has no organic functions isolated from his soul. There is involvement of the whole personality. Nothing is more psychosomatic than the union of two in one flesh; nothing so much alters a mind, a will, for better or for worse.

The separation of soul and body is death. Those who separate sex and spirit are rehearsing for death. The enjoyment of the other’s personality through one’s own personality, is love. The pleasure of animal function through another’s animal function is sex separated from love.

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Traditional Family Weekend Summer 2015 – Photos!!

We had a wonderful Traditional Family Weekend this summer and I thought I would share with you today some of the pictures I gathered together. Click on the first picture to view the gallery…

Thoughts for Today….

“Listening to my husband when he talks has done more than anything to bring down the barriers and create love in our marriage. Often he opens up when I just sit quietly with him, saying nothing. I’m just there, available. I’m not in the other room, sewing, or vacuuming. He begins to talk and share his dreams or plans and we both get excited.” – Helen Andelin
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“The thought of the importance of your position as a Catholic mother should be a source of joy to you, but your battle will often be hard and your spiritual consolations few. It is good sometimes to know that although you have sacrificed many of the things modern ’emancipated’ women value so highly, your humble position is still the proudest in society. You are the possessor of the hand that rocks the cradle and rules the world. You are to be the comforter, the unchanging inspiration, and the educator of souls.” – Fr. Lovasik

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“Remember that education is a matter of the heart, of which God is the sole Master, and we will be unable to achieve anything unless God teaches us, and puts the key in our hands. Let us strive to make ourselves loved, and we will see the doors of many hearts open with great ease, and join with us in singing praises and blessing of Him who wished to make Himself our model, our way, our example in everything, but especially in the education of the young.” -St. John Bosco

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“A special time to prove to a man that he is number one in your life is when he comes home from work. Make it a pleasant time for him.” -Helen Andelin

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“Although good homemaking is an admirable virtue, it can be overdone. Create a home, not a showplace. A man appreciates efforts for his sake, but doesn’t want homemaking to take priority over him, or things he considers more important. The castle is not more important than the king that dwells therein.” – Helen Andelin

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“The thought is very beautiful—that youth must gather the sweet things of life—the flowers, the fragrant odors, which lie everywhere, so that old age may be clothed with gladness. We do not realize how much of the happiness of our after years, will depend upon the things we are doing today. It is our own life that gives color to our skies, and tone to the music that we hear in this world. The song or the discord which rings in our ears—we may think it is made by other voices—but it is really the echo of our own yesterdays.” – J.R. Miller

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“God has thus put into the hand of the parents at their own hearthstone, a power greater than that which kings and queens wield, and which must issue in either the weal or the woe of their children. It would surely seem to be worth while to make any sacrifice of personal comfort or pleasure—to transmit a legacy of holy memories which shall be though all the years, like a host of pure angels hovering over those we love, to guard and guide them.” J.R. Miller

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Check out my Sunshiny Disposition Maglet (magazine/booklet) at Meadows of Grace or at Amazon.

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You can get all three volumes of the Maglets here for a special package price!

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