Art by Gabriele D’Annunzio
by Leane VanderPutten
Have you found Mr. Right yet?
If you haven’t then look at it as a blessing! You still have time to become the person God has meant you to be…right where you are at. Let’s face it, if you want to find Mr.Right, you need to become MISS Right first.
If you expect him to be upright, chaste, kind, loving, putting his religion first, then you need to be those things first.
Our inner happiness NOW should be a requisite for settling down into a life long relationship that will require the utmost of virtue. What are you doing to work on that each day?
I remember when I was a young lady of around 20. I had a dear friend, Kay, who was like another mother to me at the time. She asked me what my goal was in life. I told her I wanted to be a wife and a mother of a large family. She looked at me and matter-of-factly said, “Well, get to it!”
I knew what she meant. I needed to roll up my sleeves, learn to become a better cook, learn the womanly arts, learn to give and to love and most important, grow in my spiritual life! Don’t let any day go by without moving forward. Do not become stagnant!
You also need to rid your life of stumbling blocks that may be slowing you down in your growth of virtue.
What kind of movies are you watching? Are they the kind that you would want your potential spouse to be watching? What about your future kids? Would you want them watching those shows? Those are things we need to think about. We need to make those sacrifices NOW. God blesses these efforts a hundred fold.
Music? Ah…MUSIC! I love music just like the rest of them (ask my kids). I grew up listening to what was on the radio. Back in my day we didn’t have the many choices we have nowadays. We just listened to the latest pop. In my estimation, it wasn’t great…..it wasn’t horrible.
There are lots of good choices out there. Clean up your act. Think about it next time….is this stuff bringing me down? Would I want my kids to be listening to it?
I’m not a stick-in-the-mud mom. I love music, I love dancing. But you had better know what NOT to listen to. There are a lot of grey areas. Pray, listen and be ready to sacrifice. We can still have fun, listen to fun music without it being displeasing to God.
What about your friends? Do they inspire you? Are they a good example? In general, are they on the same path as you? You may think that your presence in their life is going to make them a better person. Pray about that one. Oftentimes, the opposite happens and they bring us down. We need to end friendships that take us away from our goal in life….living to please God. We become like the people we associate with.
There are so many things young ladies can be doing to make their lives full in the interim when they are waiting for Mr. Right.
Read good books. There is nothing like an inspiring book to help us make some changes that will make us a better person. Always have a book in progress that is teaching you something worthwhile.
Show more charity in your home…obedience to your parents and kindness towards your siblings. One day you will be making a home of your own. Start practicing the virtues now within your own family circle.
Learn the womanly arts. Sew, cook, crochet. So much fun…and so satisfying!! Take lessons if need be. God gave us a creative nature…..let’s build on that! And you have time right now, when you are single!
Frequent the sacraments more often. Pray, listen to sermons, do your spiritual readings. This needs to be the foundation of your life. We can busily do everything else but if we do not have the grace behind it, we are building our house on a foundation of sand.
There is so much good to be done, so much to learn and so many people to love. Your inner happiness does not have to depend on finding the right man. That happiness needs to be nurtured NOW…..and a good side benefit from that is you will be more appealing to that one good man out there that is keeping his eyes open for an excellent wife and mother of his children!
“Home should not be just a place. Rather, it must be THE place. All else should be ‘outside.’ Home should be the center of activities and interests. It was built for births, courtship, marriage, and death. It is maintained so that children might grow, trained by precept and example – so that they will develop spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, just as they do physically.”
– Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik. The Catholic Family Handbook
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Very good excellent reminders, yes beware of bad music and bad movies… They can rot good intentions because they are made to be addicting.
I am grateful (thanks be to God) to report that while I wasn’t raised in the Faith and there were many detriments to my upbringing, my daughter is very much as you described with attributes of virtue galore. Unfortunately, we live far away from young people seriously practicing their Faith. So, it might be that she will have to accept the idea of a long distance online courtship someday. I don’t know what God has in store for her.
God Bless
I have tried to pass on this same message to my students. It isn’t easy- there are so many messages telling them otherwise these days. And parents are of little help. At best. Oftentimes they are an obstacle that I have to overcome without trying to undermine their authority at the same time. More parents needs to see messages like this- for their sake and not simply that of their daughter’s. After all, God will judge parents by how well they raised their children.