Artist – Nori Peter
by Rev. Fr. George A. Kelly, The Catholic Family Handbook, 1950’s
Part Two is here.
WHEN you became a parent, you undertook the most important job of your life–the job of guiding your children so that they might live happily on earth and win eternal happiness in heaven.
The foundations of Christian family life have never faced the many-sided assault they must stand up against today, and the task of the conscientious Catholic parent has never been more difficult.
In order for you to understand what objectives you should strive for as a parent, you should first realize that your Catholic family symbolizes in miniature the Mystical Body of Christ. The husband and father is the head of the body and represents Christ.
The wife represents the Church and the children, as members of the body, represent the faithful. And this family unit has been designated by Christ to worship our Heavenly Father. Through its common life all the members give glory to God and express their submission to Him.
In addition, the family works with Christ for the redemption of its members and the world. For when Our Lord made marriage a sacrament, He established the family as a basic means through which His grace could be given to men. The husband and wife channel grace to each other and to their children and vice versa.
If these graces do not come to us in this way (through another member of the Mystical Body), they do not come at all. Therefore it is most important that parents and children live in the state of grace, and that the Holy Spirit continually dwell in their souls. For mortal sin in any member prevents the free flow of grace to other members of the household.
You will achieve the greatest success in your family life if you remember that you are fulfilling this sacred vocation. Like the priest, you are called upon to teach, rule and sanctify your children in the name of Jesus Christ.
His Eminence, Francis Cardinal Spellman, once wrote: “A man’s family (is) a place to which God could look, as He did to Bethlehem, for the beginning of mortal lives which are also eternal, for the beginnings of lives of tiny citizens of two worlds–of earth and of heaven.”
Your work as parents, therefore, is a holy and religious work. You may produce doctors, lawyers, scientists. But to the extent that your children do not reach heaven or are given every opportunity to do so, you have not succeeded. And you will begin to realize the full potentialities of your vocation when you see your family in this light.
Modern pressures harm family life. Today, unfortunately, we do not always have that Catholic family life of which older generations were justly proud and which produced great human beings and outstanding Christians.
The adult children of those fine German, Italian, Irish and Polish households now tend to reject their parents’ way of domestic living. They may value their many brothers and sisters and pay generous tribute to their self-sacrificing fathers and mothers, but the effort involved in having a large family is too heroic for them.
The training for hard work and service to others, the mental stability, the sense of right and wrong, the religious faith which they received–they want these for their children too, but they often do not want to do all the work or accept the point of view that makes such accomplishments possible.
In fact, some couples have wandered so far from the ideals of Christian marriage that they are not Christian parents at all.
Today we see the individual exalted at the expense of the family.
People marry foolishly and then leave marriage to suit their own convenience. Others deliberately limit children and thus belittle the importance to solid family life of a full household; their birth-control mentality tempts them to look upon their union merely as companionship or a means of mutual gratification.
Frequently a small and prosperous family has a built-in selfishness which disturbs, where it does not destroy, domestic peace. And parents who use contraceptives may have lax opinions about sexual morality, so that the young consciences under their care are harmed.
Many modern wives have forgotten, or do not want to know, that their first purpose is motherhood and that making a home is their most worth-while career. They have emancipated themselves from serious self-sacrifice on behalf of their husband or family.
Many husbands, too, have mentally divorced themselves from their high calling as teacher and ruler of their young ones; as a result, their homes are in a state of anarchy or matriarchy. Thus the marriage bond in many instances has ceased to be moral and spiritual. Instead it has become sensual, social and esthetic.
Some modern social scientists have termed Catholic concern over the decay of public and private morality and the disintegration of home life “alarmist poppycock.” They array a large amount of statistical evidence to demonstrate that the American world is no worse off than it was before. They declaim that elders have always looked upon every new generation as a generation of vipers.
But we who deal with people as people, and are interested in their moral well-being, know that the divorced, the promiscuous, the drug addict, the alcoholic, the homosexual, the juvenile delinquent, are increasingly prevalent phenomena which cannot be discovered in social pathology books, let alone the neighborhood streets, of thirty years ago.
They live next door–in large numbers and among ordinary family folk, and can be found in the mainstreams of society.
Parents, priests, doctors, teachers, judges, policemen and thoughtful citizens are rightfully alarmed, even if the sociologists and psychologists are not. And you, as parents, must be concerned lest the plague infect your home.
The blame for these blights on modern happiness can be laid squarely on the secular culture of our country which equates happiness with the pursuit of private pleasure and denies the existence of spiritual goals and values. The lack of religion, the encouraged agnosticism of our public institutions, particularly our schools, and the denial of the authority and rights of parents are all related to secularism.
In the face of such widespread error, the Church turns hopefully, as she did two thousand years ago, to the family. She would (1) have you recognize the Christian dignity of marriage; (2) strengthen your determination to live your family life in Christ and for Christ; (3) confirm your resistance to the pressures which threaten to destroy family virtue and domestic tranquility; (4) inoculate your family against further moral contamination.
For no matter what evil influences flourish outside your home, your family can be an impregnable refuge of Christian life.
A very nice review from a friend, Mary Fifer, of St. Anne’s Helper, to whom I had given my Catholic Mother Goose Book.
I don’t often make recommendations yet when Leane Vanderputten gave me her new book to review, Catholic Mother Goose, I couldn’t refuse.
I read her book cover to cover, and I love the whole thing. I think that it has the best Mother Goose nursery rhymes on the planet!
For over 25 years I’ve searched for unconditionally good books for younger children and her Catholic Mother Goose is a dream come true. It was an honest pleasure to read her book. This is how all Catholic books ought to be written. No White-Out necessary!
You can put it right next to your Msgr. Robert Hugh Benson rhyme books. You can read it to your little ones and assign it to your older children. I’ll bet that by putting it in the living room, it will be read without suggestion.
I wish I’d had it for our children when they were little, and I’ve got it on my list for when grandchildren come. I’m so glad to have a truly good Catholic book to recommend to family and friends for Catholic preschool and kindergarten and I’m very glad to be able to add it to our website.
This is the kind of Catholic book our children need!
My Amazon Choices
Fall Candles!
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Searching for advice then- what happens when Catholic friends decide to divorce? They are sticking to their guns, and in some cases, are going through the process rather expeditiously. Do we then limit contact, at least between the younger children? What happens when these individuals are Godparents to our children or were going to be asked to be Godparents for a child about to be born?
How do we raise our families to live in this world but not to be of it? Do we avoid Protestant homeschool/play groups? Do we avoid Luke-warm, anti-Tradition, Catholic families and groups? Do we limit contact with families whose parents are actively going against the Sacraments and covenants- as in divorced or divorcing parents?
We can’t hide in bubbles, to be sure. But from personal experience recently, my children were panicking that mom and dad would too divorce. They are trying to reconcile how Catholics can’t divorce yet they see it around them. They don’t understand how God and Saints day one thing yet people we love, trust do something else. That confusion, on one hand can be discussed and worked out. But in the other hand, it provides a very close and dangerous model. We chose to attend TLM bc our children were being told one thing in our home yet seeing something different at the local parish level. Alter girls, boisterous conversation in the sanctuary, communion in the hand, disrespectful acts of the consecrated elements, etc. If we as parents, make the choice to drive we’ll over one hour each way so that our children will have a stronger faith example, how can we expose them to situations and families that espouse radically different values? Exposing them to the diabolical, which divorce is, but expect our young children to follow our lead without question when we also say it’s ok to be around those that destroy their families? If we can’t attend weddings of divorced and remarried how can we have an active life with those that chose to breakup the family? To defy God? To not carry their crosses- in such a public, disobedient act?
My children love these families- kids and parents, alike. They look up to the parents. How can I in good conscience continue to allow that contact when my children hold them in such esteem- role models? If Godparents, the act of choosing, is do critical, wouldn’t that extend to family friends? We can’t chose our families but we can chose our friends.
Help!
Today is not a good day, but thank you for the important reminder. 😉
Many of us struggle with all this and more.. … How much contact is too much contact? 😦 😦 😦