Waking of the Love Nature

Painting by Marcel Marlier

by Helen Andelin, Beautiful Girlhood

“Love is of God.”*

Every real woman loves. Her first love is that of the little child for its mother. Once, to lie in her mother’s arms and to look up into that dear face filled all her little heart. After a while she was conscious of her father and her brothers and sisters, and gradually they began to fill a large place in her affections.

By and by her widening circle of love took in her little friends, and older people who were kind to her, until at last the schoolgirl of ten or twelve, if her childhood had been what it should be, stood at the door of beautiful girlhood with a wealth of love in her own heart, and with just as bountiful a measure of love bestowed upon her by others.

It is at this time that another love nature begins to waken, something the little girl has heard about, but never has felt before. The cause of this awakening lies in the changes that are taking place in her body. Organs that have been asleep all these years begin now to rouse from their stupor and to stir into growth and action, her whole body grows very rapidly and takes on a new form, and new feelings and emotions are awakened and thrill her very soul.

This change in the body is so rapid, and it affects the disposition so greatly, that the girl gets all out of harmony with herself. It is as if she should come home some evening, to the very house where she had been living all the time, and, going in, should find the rugs and curtains all changed and considerable new furniture about, but nobody present to tell her what it all meant.

How bewildered she would feel as she stood for a while trying to understand, and how awkward and confused she would feel! At such a time she would very likely call out for her mother, that she might understand the changes that had taken place in the home.

Just so it is with the girl of twelve or thirteen. It is her same body, she is herself, but for reasons that she cannot fathom everything seems different. New feelings and emotions have come into her heart like new furniture, while her love for her dolls and many childish games seems to have been set back out of the way.

If the girl at this time will call out to her mother for explanation and guidance, she will get along all right; but some girls turn resolutely from their mother just now when they need her most, and get themselves into tangles that almost spoil their young lives.

One of the strongest new emotions that come to furnish this house the girl is to live in is her new love nature. By this nature I mean that affection which comes between boys and girls, and which is meant in time to prepare them properly to choose a companion for life.

The effects of this awakening are peculiar. The boy becomes bashful and painfully self-conscious. He feels awkward and ill at ease and has a great dread of strangers, especially if they are women or girls, keeping himself out of sight at such times as much as possible.

The girl, on the other hand, is liable to be more bold, and you will see her, if she is not properly guided by a wise mother, doing many things that are bold and daring. She dresses her hair in new and extravagant ways, is very particular about her dress, and studies her face to make it as beautiful as possible, all that she may be attractive and pleasing. Often she is unconscious that her attitude toward the boys has anything to do with her extreme care as to appearance; but it has a great deal to do with it. Her new nature is waking.

This new love nature wants someone to love, and is soon reaching out to find that one; but it is not wise to allow it to have its own way, or the purpose of God will be frustrated. This nature is intended to assist in the choice of a lifemate when the girl has grown older. Now it should be guarded carefully and allowed to grow and develop until the girl is capable of loving in a true, womanly manner. It is impossible to choose understandingly for life while yet in extreme youth, and those who are wise wait till they are older.

If girls allow themselves to fancy they are in love when they are yet very young, they will form extreme attachments, imagining they are desperately in love, only to have this passion pass away to give place to a new fancy. Thus in a few years the store of love that should have been saved till the good time when they should have a husband and home, is frittered away on this one and that, and they are left almost without ability to love.

This new nature that is waking should be thought of as a beautiful plant given of God to be protected and cherished till it has become large and strong. If you had a delicate house plant that was meant to be handled carefully and kept from the wind and heat, would you not be foolish to carry it out with you exhibiting it to everyone you met, letting it feel the hot sun, the sharp wind, and even the bitter cold? Your plant would either soon die entirely, or be stunted and never become perfect in beauty.

So it is with this new nature within you. If it is kept carefully as a sacred trust, it will grow into strong, warm affection that will be a rich store of joy and happiness for you by and by; but if brought out now and allowed to go to this one and that one it will wear itself away and lose its warmth and ardor.

Mary Wells often felt that her life was made hard because she was not allowed to go into young company as Bessie Wilson did. They were about the same age, neither of the girls being yet sixteen. Mary was treated as a little girl in that she seldom was allowed out at night, never “went with the boys,” was kept regularly in school, and was referred to as Mr. Wells’ little daughter.

Bessie, on the other hand, dressed like a young woman, was often out to parties and theaters, had a sweetheart, and passed among the older girls as one of them. In school Mary was ahead of Bessie, who was just ready to quit because she was “tired of school” and had so little time for it.

“Papa,” said Mary one day, “I am as old as Bessie Wilson, I am in a higher class in school, and I am as tall as she is, yet I may never do the things she does, but have to look and act like a child. When are you going to let me grow up?”

“Mary, do you remember that lily that blossomed here in the window so early this spring?”

“Yes, but it is dead now. It seemed to give its whole strength to make that one blossom. It looked pretty then, but really those which blossomed at the right time were prettier,” said Mary.

“That is just what I wanted you to remember. That lily was pretty, but it was forced along too fast, blossomed before its time, and died. That is the way with many girls. They blossom before their time. I want my daughter to come to her full, mature beauty.”

“Do you mean that Bessie is blossoming too young?” asked Mary.

“When you come to the fullness of your youth, when you are like a rose in full bloom, poor Bessie will already be fading.”

Mary said no more, but she watched, and her father’s prophecy was true. When Mary came to the full beauty of her young womanhood, Bessie was already a disappointed young wife, with her health gone.

Girls who are guided properly through the age of first love are reserved and careful. It is not always easy for a girl to submit to the advice of Mother and Father, to keep out of the social whirl, to remain a little girl, to dress modestly and act as quietly as she should; but every girl who will bring herself into obedience now will have much to be thankful for in coming years. At no time in a girl’s life does she need her mother’s oversight as in those years when the love nature is waking, and new experiences are crowding in upon her.

A girl should not go out alone with boy company, nor should she be one of a crowd of boys and girls out at night or off on a long hike or ride unless they are properly chaperoned. All these safeguards about a girl are like a wall of protection to her.

“You act as though you cannot trust me,” said one girl because her mother insisted that during these years she should be carefully guarded.

“I do trust you, Daughter; but I would not have you placed in a position in which I could not personally vouch for your conduct if any question should come up. You are not yet old enough to be safe in relying wholly on your own judgment.”

Generally when a girl has passed her sixteenth birthday she begins to see things more clearly, is not so broken up in her nature, and possibly begins to understand what a blessing her mother’s care has been to her. If she is a girl of ordinarily good judgment, she will in another year or two begin to look at things from the standpoint of a young woman, not with the excited eyes of a child.

“With her for guide, you shall never go astray; while invoking her, you shall never lose heart; so long as she is in your mind, you are safe from deception; while she holds your hand, you cannot fall; under her protection you have nothing to fear; if she walks before you, you shall not grow weary; if she shows you favor, you shall reach the goal.”
–Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, Father and Doctor of the Church

This revised 1922 classic offers gentle guidance for preteen and teenage girls on how to become a godly woman. Full of charm and sentiment, it will help mother and daughter establish a comfortable rapport for discussions about building character, friendships, obedience, high ideals, a cheerful spirit, modest dress, a pure heart, and a consecrated life….

This is the book that traditionally minded Catholic family women have been looking for. Long out of print, this rare jewel is destined to become the favored spiritual guide for Catholic wives and mothers. Msgr. Landriot gave these conferences over 100 years ago but they are as relevant to us today as the Gospels. Think of this book as a practical guide for women who want to achieve sanctity in the home. Reading this book is the best thing you could do for your husband and children, as well as yourself, if a common sense plan for becoming a Valiant Woman yourself is what you need. To help women to raise truly Catholic families and keep them Catholic and striving for sanctity is why this book was published. This is not a book that will be read once and then gather dust for years on the shelf. It is a handbook and will be read over and over again….

Kind Words are Like a Fragrant Odor

Be careful of your words, out of the mouth floweth the heart…..

Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale

“By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

That member, the tongue, what a treacherous thing it is! And how many times it brings its owner into trouble! One writer has said that he who is able to bridle the tongue is a perfect man, and is able to govern the whole body (James 3:2).

Solomon, the wise man of old, has said that “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” A word fitly spoken, how good it is! It will heal a heart that is broken, and turn away wrath (Proverbs 15:1).

Kind words are like a fragrant odor that fills all the house. One person who habitually speaks kindly and considerately can soothe and quiet a household. And such words are not hard to give if the heart is in the right attitude. When one can feel and appreciate the joys and sorrows of others, the right words will come naturally.

The Tongue, That Unruly Member

This is a good reminder for all of us of the power of our words! It is also a good reminder that we need to be diligent in  teaching our children to keep their words wholesome and respectful!

Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale

The tongue is an unruly member, and until it is brought into control by the girl herself, it is ever liable to get her into trouble. If the old rule to “think twice before you speak once” can be remembered and obeyed, much trouble and heartache will be avoided.

When all the efforts at controlling a girl’s tongue are made by parents and teachers instead of by the girl herself, it is like trying to stop a faucet by putting your hand over it. The pressure from within is so strong that ugly words will fly out in spite of these efforts. But when the girl undertakes the task herself, she is able to turn the pressure off so that the words flow smoothly. Not that it will be without struggle; but victory is ahead for every girl who will try.

Making Friends of Books

by Mabel Hale, Beautiful Girlhood, 1920’s

“Of making many books there is no end.”

Who would not count it an honor to have among her friends the wisest, noblest, and best of earth, and have their friendship so intimate that at any time she might go to them and converse with them and have their opinions upon the matters of importance?

If only one such friend were yours or mine, should we not feel honored indeed, and would we not cultivate that friendship that if possible our lives might be brightened by the association? I am certain that each one of us would feel just such an interest in so exalted a friendship.

Would you be surprised if I should tell you that such a friendship is possible, not only with one or two superior persons, but with all the wisest and best of all time? That is the fact in the case.

We are all provided with means by which we may become acquainted with those who have moved earth’s masses most, whose lives have influenced most people for good, knowing the very motives and desires of their hearts and learning exactly what their opinions were or are.

The medium for all this wonderful knowledge is the printed page. Through books we may, very intimately, know the wisest and best. I may take a book and go into the quietness of my room and there read, as a great personal letter, what the author has to say, and there compare his views with those of others and with my own, gathering wisdom for my personal store. What a privilege this!

It is said that a person becomes like his friends. This is a very truthful saying, for association makes a great difference in the life of anyone. Especially is this true of the young.

Boys and girls in the teens will almost certainly be like those with whom they most intimately associate, especially if they have chosen their associates. Like begets like, and we naturally seek out and enjoy those who are congenial to us, passing by those whose tastes and manners are offensive.

It is not only the personal touch that makes this likeness, but the exchange of ideas. By the interchange of thought and expression all become to a great extent one, each giving to the other something of himself, and receiving to himself of the other.

What is true of personal friendships is also true of book friendships. If I choose only the books that I like to read, and after a while give you a list of those books, you can know, though you never see me face to face, just what kind of person I am, just how my thoughts run, and what I admire most in people and things.

And if I habitually choose books that I believe will be the best for me, and read them carefully until I understand them and make their thoughts my own, I will in time become like those books in thought, and will be lifted out of the rut I naturally would have run in.

When a girl chooses her friends she should as much as possible select those who will be a help to her. If she chooses the quiet, modest, sincere, earnest girls for her friends, she will become like them; but if her friends are mostly the thoughtless, giddy kind, though she had been a reasonably sensible girl in the beginning, she will soon be as her companions.

So it is with books. If a girl will choose her books from those whose ideals are high and whose language is pure and clean, unconsciously she will mold her life like to those portrayed in the books she reads; but if her book friends are the giddy, impure, unchaste kind, you may be certain that the girl will become like them.

I have heard the assertion that to go to any girl’s bookcase and there study for a little while the books she reads, will give to one a true estimate of that girl’s character, and I believe this is in the main true.

If a girl is interested in history she may have at her command the works of educated men who have made history a special study, and there she may seek out just what they have learned on the particular point that interests her. If she is interested in science, medicine, art, chemistry, music, or business, in books she can find the thoughts and conclusions of those who have made these a life study.

Every girl likes in one way or another the social side of life. By going to the proper kind of authors she may get glimpses of and even come into intimate acquaintance with, the lives of the purest and noblest of earth. She can through her book friends converse with people of the highest and noblest ideals. Or she may seek out those whose lives are foul and bitter and enter with them into their dark deeds, smudging her young heart with the worst sins of the world.

I believe every girl would be able to choose rightly if, when she begins a book, she would ask herself these questions: Would I like to read this book aloud to my mother? Would I feel honored in intimately knowing the people of this book in real life? Would pure society approve of the conduct of these story-people? Can I profitably make my life pattern after the ideals I here find? Would the reading of this book help me to better serve my Lord?

If these questions can be answered in the affirmative, then she may safely read the book; but if not, even though the book is very enticing, let her put it away, for it is poison.

The reading of love stories in which the lovers have secret meetings in dark and lonely places, embrace and caress each other, and whose acts stir the fever of romance and imagination of the reader, is very detrimental to young girls, and is good for no one.

Stories of murder and crime that stir the mind with horror or excitement, or that make heroes of evil characters, are not good for the young people. It is almost as bad to read books that make you intimate with bad characters as to make personal friends of that sort of people.

In both you learn their intimate thoughts and motives, and will condone their wrongs if their personality has appealed to you. More or less, my young reader, you will be like these people whom you admire and like to read about.

Light, frivolous reading brings the brain into a condition where it is almost impossible for it to grasp and hold weighty matter. When the girl who habitually reads novels undertakes to read anything that requires thought, she seems to be only uttering words, and not comprehending a thing. She will throw the book down and say, “It is not interesting, and I see nothing in it.”

But let her keep at the heavier reading, going over and over the same paragraph or chapter till she does understand it—she will in time become able to grasp the thoughts as she reads. And if she keeps on at the deep reading, she will lose her appetite for the light stuff; it will seem chaffy and foolish to her.

It will not hurt any girl to read a few stories; and, in fact, if the right kind of stories are chosen she will learn much that is useful and good through story reading. But she who wishes to become educated and make her reading a means of culture must select the greater portion of her books from those authors who deal with facts in life.

Works of history, biography, and other branches of learning are good for all. Books of travel are very good, for they make one acquainted with the people of other lands. In the great field of choice, pick out those book friends that will widen the outlook and lift up the standards of life.

Books can be the greatest of blessing in the life of a girl, or they can become her curse. Which will you have them to be in yours?

“We can change the world within our own families. We do not need heroic deeds, exceptional intelligence or extraordinary talents. Every day, our daily duties, our interactions with our family, our living out the Faith in the small ordinary things, will be the thread that weaves the beautiful rug that future generations will be walking upon and building upon….” -Finer Femininity

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When a Girl Goes Out – Beautiful Girlhood

Though written decades ago, these are good points that should be considered….

From Beautiful Girlhood by Mable Hale

“I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths.”*

I had gone out with Betty and Jean, two very dear young friends of mine, and we were comfortably settled in our places in the streetcar when an exclamation from Betty made me look up.

Coming into the car was a group of girls led by a pretty young creature yet in her teens. It was she who had called out the exclamation of my little friends. She greeted them cordially, and they introduced her to me as a schoolmate whom they had not met for nearly a year.

While the girls talked I could observe the new girl and her comrades. All of them had their cheeks painted red and their lips a deeper crimson than nature ever intended. Their dresses were cut in the latest fad and were startling in appearance, while extravagance in their general manners was very noticeable. They were giggling and simpering, purposely calling attention to themselves and enjoying that attention, in every way showing themselves to be silly, vain creatures.

As well as I knew Betty and Jean, I found myself wondering if I had been mistaken in them, and if this was the type of girls they chose as friends, if in their hearts they were like this. The conversation lagged, and I caught my girls watching me with furtive glances as if trying to fathom my thoughts.

When we stood again on the street the girls turned to me with flashing eyes and flushed cheeks and said almost in one breath, “I hope you do not think for one minute that we approve of those girls. We were glad to see Belle after such a long time, but she used to be just like we are. What has changed her so? Why, she looks and acts like a bad girl.”

My mind was relieved as to Betty and Jean’s ideals, but I could not refrain from pitying the girl who had brought upon herself their disapproval, and not only theirs, but that of every right-thinking person. No girl need to be classed among the purest and truest of women, who appears on the street as Belle and her companions had appeared.

A girl is generally taken at her face value; that is, she is thought to be just what she appears to be. Some people will take time to know her as she is; but the great majority pass judgment on appearances only. Nor are they far wrong in doing so. There are not many of us who can for any long time keep up a false appearance. Our real selves will show through.

When a girl dresses to go on the street she should prepare herself in becoming dress, being neither untidy nor conspicuous for the brightness and gaudiness of her clothes. She should remember that upon the street she meets all kinds of people, and among them will be some who would put an evil construction upon any carelessness in this respect.

It is for her protection and good name that we would insist upon a street dress that is modest and unassuming. The more simple the street dress the better it is. Also, her hair should be done in a simple manner and such as is becoming to her face and years. She should strive to look just what she is, a quiet, unassuming girl going about her own affairs.

The cheeks and lips painted a scarlet beyond anything nature would ever give is bad taste at any time, and is an index to a vain and foolish heart, and will not be found in beautiful girlhood. Good health and perfect cleanliness will bring a rosiness and flush to both cheek and lip that is far more beautiful than anything that can be rubbed on.

When the girl is on the street or in public places she should never laugh nor talk loudly. To do so will only call upon her undesirable attention and criticism, and it is a sign of vulgarity. A real lady will not do so. Neither will she be giggling and simpering, nor in any of her conduct will she seek to draw attention to herself. She will not act boisterous nor rowdy, nor keep the company of those who so act. There will be something about her which is a reproof to those who would be boisterous.

A girl should never loiter about public places when she has no business calling her there. If she does so, she is forced into temptation and made an object of criticism, which will in time bring her into very undesirable situations. One girl, a very young girl, who had formed the habit of loitering about a depot at train time, picking up a conversation with some of the men she met there (thinking only of the fun there was in it), had the following experience:

One day a gentleman alighted from a train which was to wait for the passengers to eat. He began walking up and down the platform. He was fine looking and soon attracted the attention of this girl.

She watched him furtively out of the corner of her eye, coughed a little, and laughed merrily and a trifle loudly with a group of her acquaintances; but at first he paid no attention. This piqued her, and she made more ardent efforts to attract his attention; for her companions were teasing her about her failure to “land her catch.” Her power of attraction was being tested.

At last he noticed, turned, and sought her out and came directly to her, her foolish little heart was all in a flutter at her success. She meant to do no more than to chat with him a few moments, and by so doing satisfy her vanity as to her attractiveness, and clear herself of the charge of weakness the girls had teasingly made.

“My dear girl,” he said, tipping his hat, “have you a mother at home?”

“Why, yes,” the girl stammered.

“Then go to her and tell her to keep you with her until you learn how you ought to behave in a public place,” and saying this he turned and left her in confusion and shame. It was a hard rebuke; but this man had told her only what every pure-minded man and woman was thinking. Girls can hardly afford to call down upon themselves such severe criticism.

A young man was walking down the street of a small city intent only upon his own affairs; but he happened to be good-looking, and a group of schoolgirls spied him. One of them expressed her decision to make his acquaintance and find out who he was. She and her companions walked rapidly and overtook him, and passed him, laughing merrily and managing to catch his eye as they passed.

Then they loitered till he had to pass them in getting to the corner, when he turned off on purpose to avoid them. They followed him and passed him again, and this time the girl who was leading the attack was more bold in catching his eye, and with a glance challenged him to speak.

He saw the challenge and flushed. He had sisters at home, and had been taught by a good mother the proper respect for women. Stopping, he addressed her with a smile that was not merry, and she, thinking she was about to accomplish her foolish design, waited for him to speak.

He said, “My young friend, you are not a bad girl, but you are acting like one. It is only a little way on the path you are going to where you will be what you pretend to be now. Promise me that you will never, as long as you live, do as you have done this evening, but that you will be a true woman.” He waited a little for her to answer, turning his head so as not to see the painful flush on her face, for he was right, she was not a bad girl, just a silly one.

“I promise you,” she said faintly, and he turned and passed on, and the group of humbled girls hurried home.

If all men were as these two gentlemen, girls would not be in the danger that they are in from an unguarded act; but these were exceptions. While they set the girls back to right paths, too many would have led them on to lower depths.

There is no more beautiful adornment to womanly character than purity, and the girl does well to see that everything that concerns her dress and behavior when away from her home on the street or otherwise in the eyes of the public, is pure, clean, modest, and quiet. Though she should have to pass by many things that other girls count good times, she will in the end be far happier.

🌸💞I want to be able to lay my head down at night knowing I have connected with those things that matter most…..
So that when my life is at its close it can be said, “You have run the race, you have fought the good fight.” and I will be remembered, not for what I have accomplished, but for HAVING LOVED WELL….. -Finer Femininity

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A Girl’s Ornaments

 

from Beautiful Girlhood by Mable Hale

“Whose adorning [let it be] the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.”

The girl is the woman to be, and girlhood is the dressing room for womanhood.

The perfect woman has graces and powers of body, mind, and soul that make her able to be the mother of men and to guide them into the right paths of life. Her example and influence are unbounded, not only in her own home but in society in general.

No girl can come to this perfect womanhood unless she uses the opportunities of girlhood rightly. If she does not develop a healthy, active body she is handicapped through all her life.

If she does not come to womanhood with a mind and soul that are clean and clear and properly directed she cannot rightly fill her place.

A vain, silly, giddy woman is just as unfitted for the responsibilities of life in mind and soul as a sick woman is in body.

A right attitude toward her dress will not only help a girl to grow strong and vigorous in body, but will aid her in growing strong and beautiful in mind and soul.

Let us always keep in mind that the perfect woman is a Christian woman. To be a true Christian is to take the path in life that was mapped out for us in the life of Christ and to show daily in life and manners the graces and the spirit of Christ.

He was “meek and lowly in heart,” and showed always the opposite of vanity and pride. Paul speaks to Christian women of the “ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.”

And the girl who is growing into a perfect woman is noticed for her kindness, sympathy, gentleness, sweetness of spirit, and her willingness to be of service. There is about her a humility that makes you feel that she does not despise you and think you below her, that she is rather thinking of your happiness than her own personal appearance.

These beautiful graces—kindness, sympathy, humility, gentleness, purity—are the real ornaments of beautiful girlhood. But it is in the ornaments that clothe and beautify her soul and mind that make her a lovable and desirable creature who carries happiness and cheer wherever she goes.

Seek first the more beautiful inner ornaments and then clothe the body so that those more important ornaments are not hidden.

Your clothes should not be conspicuous among your comrades, either as old-fashioned or odd, nor as being smart and daring. It is not a trait of beautiful girlhood to expose the person in a way to call forth coarse remarks and criticisms.

It is impossible to point out certain things that are wrong, for a fad that is causing strong comment today may in a few years be forgotten, but this principle always holds good: that our girls who are striving for a beautiful girlhood and a clean and useful womanhood should always dress so as to appear modest and quiet and inconspicuous in their environments.

Any girl can easily settle these matters for herself if she will keep in mind that her business is always to keep in evidence the true ornaments of mind and soul and then be careful that in clothing and beautifying her body, she does not dim her more precious ornaments.

There is yet another angle regarding dress that our girls should keep in mind.

Good girls behaving as they should are one of the strongest influences for good in the lives of their boy associates, and every girl striving for a clean and beautiful girlhood should not in dress or action do that which in any way lowers her in the estimation of clean-minded boys, nor causes her to become a temptation to those who are weak.

Undoubtedly youth is a most beautiful thing of itself. But, if you have in this tender flower, the shining whiteness of Christian purity, then you have human beauty displayed as something noble and exalted, attracting the admiration and imitation of those who see it. – Pope Pius XII www.finerfem.com

Just a Note:

The Finer Femininity Facebook Page is a happening place. It has many lovely quotes and images, book suggestions, sermon suggestions, Meadows of Grace products, coloring pages, etc. For those of you who may not be on it, here is the link. https://www.facebook.com/catholicfemininity/

It is helpful to put in your newsfeed preferences “see first” on the pages you like. With the new Facebook algorithm, much of it does not go out to those who just “like” the page, without doing this.

Don’t forget to sign up for the Giveaway!! I will announce the winner tomorrow!

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kanzashi flowers

My daughters, Virginia and Jeanette make these lovely Kanzashi Ribbon flowers. It is amazing to see such lovely pieces of art bud forth from a straight piece of ribbon. These make great hairpieces, they can be worn on a collar or on a purse, scarf, etc. They make lovely gifts! Come take a peek here.

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Sincerity is Not Always the Easiest Path – Beautiful Girlhood

“And this I pray… that ye may be sincere and without offence.”*

Beautiful Girlhoodby Mabel Hale

To be sincere is to be in reality what one appears to be: not feigned; not assumed; genuine, real, and true. How much value we all place upon sincerity! What a low estimate we place upon the friendship of a person who proves not to be sincere, who, when to her advantage, snubs and ignores us.

How we despise the actions of one who is lavish with expressions of love and kindness to our face, but who backbites us in our absence! We care nothing for her friendship, and her very expressions of affection are obnoxious. Is it not true that we expect and demand sincerity of our friends?

To be sincere is to be honest; honest with self and honest with others. Honesty costs something. To be truly honest is not always the easiest path. It is an easy matter to deceive ourselves and to make ourselves believe we are doing right, when down in our hearts we know we are doing wrong.

A man might give to a good cause and make himself believe he is doing right, when deep in his heart he must know he gives to gain praise of the people. A girl might make herself think she is studying because she is bent over a book, when she knows her thoughts are all upon the party to which she is going. A boy may make himself think he is smart and manly because he smokes, when deep down in his heart he knows he is being both disobedient and deceitful.

There are indeed many ways one may deceive himself. Sometimes men have given liberally to a good cause, hoping that their good deed would even up an act of dishonesty. Many a church or hospital or school has been endowed because the giver thought his doing so would smother his feelings of regret or soothe the fretting of a wounded conscience. Temptation to such insincerity has come to us in little things or greater, but the sincere heart will not yield.

To be honest with self means to look things over with an unfeigned heart and to do right because it is right. When we do good that we might appear right in spite of deception in the heart, we deceive ourselves. If we are trying this, our true selves will come out when we least expect it. Perhaps more people deceive themselves than are ever deceived by others. It pays to be honest with ourselves all the time.

It is just as necessary to be honest toward others in every act. It was a bitterly cold morning and Betty buttoned her coat up close to her throat as she knew her mother wished her to do.

But it was not because of the cold that she obeyed her mother so carefully about her coat. That morning she had put on a blouse which her mother had asked her not to wear to school and the buttoned coat hid it from her mother’s eyes.

Betty was both disobedient and dishonest. We sometimes think that honesty pertains only to money matters. It is true that we should always be honest to the last penny in all business dealings, but honesty also touches every other department of life.

To copy or to take advantage in any other way at school in order to gain a grade is just as dishonest in its nature as to steal, or to forge a note.

The principle is the same, the difference being only in the magnitude of the deed. To take advantage of the teacher’s back being turned to play pranks is also dishonest. To pretend friendship which one does not feel, to smile and approve to the face and laugh to the back, to be two-faced in anything, is mean and dishonest.

Honesty or dishonesty is shown in every little act of life. It is the honest boy or girl who makes the honest citizen. They are the ones whose lives and influence amount to real good in the world’s work.

To be sincere is to be hearty; that is, to enter into all we do with all our might. She who is sincere will give the best of herself to whatever work she undertakes. Even the humblest tasks become noble if they are performed heartily.

It is a pleasure to watch a girl wash dishes or sweep a floor if she does it with a hearty good will. As for practicing music or studying a lesson, more will be accomplished in half the time if the work is undertaken heartily. The girl who does her work that way is a bit of sunshine in the home. God bless her! She is a comfort and joy.

The sincere girl always makes a satisfactory worker wherever she is put. She does her work with a reasonable degree of rapidity and with a will as if she enjoyed it. Whether she works in an office, in the schoolroom, in the factory, or in the kitchen, whether her work brings her good pay, or whether she is a busy home toiler who gets only her board and clothes, if she is sincere and willing she will be a success. Her eye is not on the clock to see if her time is about up, but her whole attention is upon what she is doing.

Sincere people are hearty in their friendships. Did you ever put your hand into the hand of a friend and have her grasp it with a hearty good will, and look you in the face with a friendly greeting? Did it not do you good? It does others just as much good if you greet them heartily.

Again, I have offered my hand to women who gave me the tips of their fingers in a delicate, afraid-of-you manner that chilled all my ardor. I did not like it, and others will not like it if you meet them that way. The handshake is quite an index to people’s hearts. Those who are hearty and sincere are not afraid to let you know it.

To be sincere is to be unfeigned—no pretension, no putting on. The girl who is sincere means every word she says when she is expressing love and friendship. I need not fear that she is only trying to make an impression on me, nor that she is getting my confidence only to ridicule me later. She is no turncoat and no traitor. It seems to me a girl can have no greater fault than feigning friendship and affection she does not feel. Those who are sincere are real. They are real friends, real students, real sisters, real Christians.

To be sincere is to be frank. Frankness helps a girl to speak right out from the heart what she thinks and feels. But there is a very unpleasant trait that sometimes passes as frankness. That is a disposition to say cutting things. There are many things that are better left unsaid. Even though circumstances have given ample room for severe criticism, it is better to keep the bitter word unsaid, and to speak kindly.

Frankness does not mean that we shall tell people what we think of them and their doings on all occasions. True frankness shows in clear, honest eyes and in a gaze of purity and truth, which brings confidence to all who see it. It will speak out of the eyes when the lips are silent. She who is frank keeps nothing back that changes the meaning of what she says.

Beautiful girlhood can hold no more attractive nor lovable trait than sincerity. When a girl can look with honest eyes and perfect sincerity into life, and can meet the temptations that are sure to come with a heart sincerely set to do God’s will, that girl will succeed. Her life will be a blessing to many. Old and young will be encouraged and strengthened by her presence and friendship.

 

“There are those who say that modesty is simply determined by what the culture says it is. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to take modesty advice from our present culture of death! We currently do not live in a sane world, so we cannot use our present culture as a guidepost. We must instead turn to the Wisdom of the Ages, which gives us the particulars of clothing and adornment that is dignified and modest.” – Colleen Hammond, Dressing With Dignity

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Lovely Kanzashi flowers for your hair, collar, purse, etc.

These fetching ribbon flowers are a perfect accent to any special outfit and provides a sweet final touch! I like to wear these flowers in my hair, but they can be worn many ways!
Each petal takes undivided attention! First, it is cut and shaped, then burnt to ensure there will be no fraying. The petals are then folded and glued into a flower design and the finishing touches are then added.
The back of the flower has a clip that easily opens and holds firmly.
Ribbon flowers are an excellent alternative to real flowers and will look fresh and beautiful forever! 

Available here.

If you purchase items through my affiliate links, I receive a small commission but your price doesn’t change. Thank you for your support.
 
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Home Life – Beautiful Girlhood

This is truly beautiful. So many important, simple truths to ponder….

From Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale

“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”*

Not every language has a word equivalent to the English word home, but instead use a word meaning about the same as house. How much more the thought of home brings to our minds than merely the thought of the house in which we live! The beloved ones living there and our associations with each other, our hopes and fears and joys and sorrows, all mingle together in one place of rest and sweet communion—home.

Home is a little community with authority,  laws, and citizens each having a part to perform that life there may be perfect. The form of government in this community is very simple. Father and Mother begin a partnership in which each has responsibility and rights. There have to be laws to govern the conduct of this community as it grows in numbers and responsibility and authority to execute these laws.

It is just as impossible for a home to be safe and happy without its members obeying the rules of right deportment as for a nation to be safe without laws and government.

To be able to fit into the home-life and to adjust ourselves to its requirements is one of the best traits of beautiful girlhood. This is not always accomplished without a struggle on the girl’s part; for when the years of fickle, changing youth are with a girl she finds that something in her nature rebels against the restraint of home.

She finds that in many instances she would take a different course from what her parents are taking, that what seems most needful to them and upon which they insist seems needless and superficial to her, while other things which she thinks are very necessary they call foolish and silly.

She wants to do many things of which they do not approve and will not permit, and require of her what is irksome and hard. She feels as if she were being pressed into a mold that does not fit, while her whole heart cries out for freedom to come and go and do as she pleases.

Some girls accept their own point of view as correct and contend and argue for their own way until all the beauty and peace of the home-life is destroyed. This is a grievous mistake, and one that can bring only sorrow and regret in its wake.

Other girls despondently give up to their parents’ way and develop no mind or character of their own. This, too, is a mistake, which weakens the nature of any girl.

But other girls submit to their parents because it is right that they should do so, yet holding, weighing, and considering their own opinions, really trying to learn what is best. A girl who will do this will soon develop judgment and discretion that her parents will be glad to honor.

I have in mind now a sweet girl of eighteen who for two years and more has not only helped to earn the family living but has done practically all the buying and planning of the younger children’s clothes.

Her mother is not afraid to trust the care of the children to her when they go out nor does she fear that her oldest daughter will misbehave when not in her presence. She does practically as she pleases because she has by thoughtful consideration developed judgment and wisdom sufficient to be given that liberty. How much of the happiness of this home rests at the door of this sweet girl we cannot say.

The younger daughter in the home has it in her power to make home a sweet, comfortable place to live, where laughter and sunshine will cheer the cloudiest day; or she may turn all its pleasures to bitterness and bring sorrow and heartache.

If she can submit to her parents’ control, can be obedient, kind, and thoughtful, she is a constant comfort; but if she is always contending and arguing, speaking up in a saucy manner when she is crossed, or scolding and quarreling with the younger children, she makes home almost unbearable.

If she has a separate set of manners for her own people from what she uses when with company, she is a constant disappointment. I never like the blank look that a mother’s face takes when someone commends the gentle kindness of a daughter of this type. She does not wish to lower her daughter in her friend’s estimation, nor can she heartily agree as to her daughter’s kindness.

A girl should have her full share of responsibility in the home. She should go about her work willingly, not as if it were an irksome duty which she was ill-disposed to perform. She should count herself one of the family, one of the children, having only equal rights and privileges with the rest.

A girl and her father should be good comrades. Too often this is not the case, but they live lives entirely apart from each other in interest and enjoyment. This is not always altogether the girl’s fault, but it is a condition she can remedy to a great extent by a little thoughtful kindness.

Father very often has been too busy to keep acquainted with his growing daughters, and finds them rather out of his range. They seem as much strangers to him as are their young friends whom he meets in the home. He thinks they do not care to have him about, and takes himself off to his room or chair or on the porch and leaves them to themselves.

One girl who found herself thus a stranger to her father formed the habit of going to meet him each evening she could get off. She was either at the corner, or, at least at the door when he came, and when she could she was at his office, so that they might have the whole way home together.

It was only a little while until this homecoming was the happiest part of both their days, and many loving confidences were exchanged, which would never have been possible without her first step.

Another family had the “father’s hour,” as they called it, the first hour after supper, and both he and the others planned their day to have this hour together. Fathers do like to be counted in.

Any girl who will speak disrespectfully either to or of her father is lacking in one of the first principles of real womanhood. She should always remember that Father has the right to direct her life, to say what she shall and shall not do, to forbid her to go anywhere that is not proper. His word to her should be final. His approval to her should mean much.

The daughter and her mother come into closer relationship. They touch each other on many more points than do daughter and father. And if the daughter is safe from the temptations and allurements of sin about her she is a girl who makes her mother her chief confidante. To her goes every secret, every hope, and every fear. All the perplexities of her young life are threshed out by Mother’s side.

But Mother has so much of her daughter’s life to oversee that it becomes irksome to the girl. When the girl is small her mother is responsible for almost every act every hour of the day. She says how the child’s hair shall be combed, what dress she shall wear, where she shall go, and what she shall do.

This oversight does not end all at once for the mother dare not let loose of the responsibility till the girl is able to take hold of it. And the changing over from complete supervision to self-direction is often a hard time for both mother and daughter, the early teens usually being the hardest struggle.

Let us think of a long bridge reaching across the years, one end of it resting on those approaching years from ten to twelve and the other end resting in the early twenties. When a girl begins to travel this bridge her parents have her complete oversight and are wholly responsible for her, and by the time she reaches the other end their responsibility ends and she is on her own. Somewhere along that bridge the reins of her life slip out of her parents’ hands and into her own.

The young person begins to feel the urge to be independent, grown up, and “on his own,” and the parent tries to hold him back till he understands better. If parents always understood, they would give over responsibility just as fast as young folks could bear it, but unfortunately parents do not always understand.

If boys and girls understood, they could be more patient, for grown-up years will come in time to all. But since it is hard for both the parents and the boys and girls to understand, there are a few years along in the teens when some very hard struggles occur between parents and children.

One of the sweetest places a young girl may have in any home is that of big sister. What a field of happiness and usefulness is open to the girl with little brothers and sisters! They are ready to look up to her as a guide and a pattern in everything. If she manages rightly, she can have unlimited influence with them.

Have you seen her, the ideal big sister? She is ever ready to kiss away the bumps and bruises of little heads and hearts, she knows just how to mend broken dolls and balls, she likes to pop corn and make candy for little people to eat, she knows such wonderful stories to tell or read, she will pick up and put out of sight those evidences of childish neglect that might bring little people into trouble, she understands and is a companion for everyone of them. Yes, many homes have just such older daughters as that.

The girl who is learning day by day to be a good daughter at home and a good sister to the young children, is also learning day by day how to make in time a good wife and a good mother. She is getting ready for the greatest work a woman can do.

It was a woman who had given her life for a noble and far-reaching work, and who had never married, who when commended for the much that she had accomplished said, “I would give it all for a pair of baby hands.” There is no work so good for any woman as making a good, true home for somebody. Every truly beautiful character is at its best at home. Let us never neglect the home life.

“These diapers that are changed daily, these meals that are cooked again and again, these floors that are scrubbed today only to get dirty tomorrow — these are as truly prayer in a mother’s vocation as the watches and prayers of the religious are in theirs.” -Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children http://amzn.to/2yTp42S (afflink)

Beautiful and durable, these wire-wrapped, Vintaj First Communion Rosaries would make a very special gift! Each loop is wrapped around itself to ensure quality. Available here.

 

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The Honorable Woman

by Father Eric Flood

(not for publication without approval)

When we consider men and women, we know God created them equal as being human, but with differences to fulfill Divine roles.God endowed each gender with necessary capabilities, and for women, this meant gifting them with a womb to bear children.

We can even consider the Feast of the Immaculate Conception as the day the womb of St. Anne reached its perfection, and the Annunciation as the day the womb of Our Lady reached its grandeur.  At the very foundation of every female’s dignity is her capability of being a mother, and from this stems her honor, her value, and why she deserves respect, care, and protection

Let’s take a fruit tree, and examine when does an apple tree reach its full excellence?  As it is growing? in the springtime, when it has blossoms?  Is it not when the tree is full of ripe fruit?

So too a girl.  When does a female reach her fulfillment:  as she is growing as a child? when she enters the springtime of adolescence?  Is it not when she bears fruit and brings a child into the world.

This marvelous ability confided to women, bringing life into the world, requires a body designed by God to not only feed her child, but with the emotional life which is more caring and compassionate.

When a girl grows in her understanding of this honor, her behavior changes, her self-esteem is lifted up, and she places great value upon herself.  It could be said that possibly everything how women are to act and behave differently than men is rooted in their ability to bear children.

As a result, any attempt to downplay the great role of motherhood, any act to thwart her bringing forth life, injures her dignity.  It replaces her exalted ability and her exalted place in society with lesser goals: pleasure, or the pursuit of worldly achievements or recognition.

So all women, whether mothers or not, deserve to be treated in accord with this dignity, and to encourage this attitude towards are females, we will use the assistance of the image of a garden as a fitting analogy to the womb.

There are grand botanical gardens and arboretums throughout the world, displaying beautiful landscapes and plant life.  The myriad of flowers, plants, and trees arranged to radiate with beauty, splendor, and life.  What could have been a simple plot of land – is made pleasing to the eyes after great labor.

Soil needs great care, diligence, and protection to become an elegant garden, and the womb needs great attention and labor to use the fertile ground to yield the great flowers of children.

Each woman, from her childhood, devotes abundant labor into preparing and preserving her garden.  Plowing, cultivating, and removing stones, making sure the weeds of any secular thought of pleasure over purpose do not take root.

Her heart, too, is greatly involves as it learns that love is beyond a good feeling, but is to be genuinely valued for who she is.  There is an aqueduct between the heart and womb, so what the woman perceives about herself – the degree she rightly loves herself and knows she is loved by God – supplies the womb with the nutrition of charity.

In understanding her true worth, she builds a fence around the garden, enclosing it so animals cannot enter and trample the garden.  This wall is what Catholic spiritual writers call modesty.  Extending beyond clothing, as it encompasses behavior, eyes, words, and demeanor.

We find in the original Garden of Eden, the mention of only 3 persons:  Adam, Eve, and God.   So too, in this garden of the woman, the only persons the woman allows are God and the husband.  God, because He has dominion over all He created.

The husband who is given the keys to the gate of the garden on their wedding day, who has the duty to treasure it rightly as a gardener would show towards a beautiful garden.  On her wedding day, it was as if the bride told him:  “I have preserved my garden, it is precious to me, it is committed to your care, it is a place we can now walk together.

We especially implore, the Immaculate Virgin, to have continuous motherly care over our daughters, so that Our Lady, who preserved her integrity to the perfect degree, will inspire all females here the desire to preserve integrity.

For Our Lady, her garden was immaculate, and now the Gardener would not be any man, but God Himself.  His power overshadowed her (Lk. 1:35), and her womb could not be a less beautiful garden than the original Garden of Paradise.

For women, God does not grant such a noble ability of childbearing without expecting it to be treasured.  So He makes it natural for a girl to esteem her ability to bring life into the world, that from the first instance of recognizing the potential within her, a young girl begins to make a comfortable “home” for her children.

There was a boy who gave a hard boiled egg to a 2-year-old girl thinking she would drop it, then he would peel it.  But what was her reaction:  She carefully held the egg, making sure it would not be injured or broken.  A boy probably wouldn’t do this, he would throw it, to see what would happen, but the girl, it is already within her to protect the precious.

We know that a baby girl is born with all the unfertilized eggs she will most likely ever have in life.  Some speculate more may be made later, but it is a scientific fact that she is born with a tremendous number.

God gave her the eggs at birth, as well as the almost immediate instinctive care of them, like the 2 year old towards the hard boiled egg.  This means, from her infancy, she has to protect them; shielding the garden from enemies, fertilizing the soil by a virtuous life.

Obvious, then, is the importance of appropriate instruction as she matures as to the great gift of childbearing confided to her.  When a young lady understands that her value rests upon this, she more quickly acts and behaves in ways which display the awareness of her dignified position in the world.  Her true feminine dignity shines in all she does in daily life.

From the way she conducts herself around others, to her external appearance, she knows what she does either adds or takes away from her grandeur.  This should be cause for women to consider and meditate how their value, beauty, and honor is built upon, not by what in seen in the mirror, but the ability to be a mother.

Your mind, heart, and womb are so united that everything you do, can be seen in the light of bringing children into the world.  This is why people can be more surprised when women use bad language, sit in a chair like men, are overly aggressive in competition.  These forego a certain elegance of one of such tremendous dignity.

This analogy of the womb to a garden also gives a way mothers can teach daughters about the treasure they hold within.  A little girl easily understand the fragility and preciousness of flowers, and the garden-analogy associates an image of something beautiful in the world to something beautiful within.

As she matures and develops this image of a lovely garden over years of your reiterating it, she will be reassured of keeping the garden beautiful for her future husband and children.  It gives a concrete picture of the place her children will one day play, move, and enjoy living; bathing in the sunlight of motherly love.

It is good to also consider the possibility of the woman who has allowed weeds to grow in her garden?  First, just because there are weeds, it doesn’t stop being a garden.

Second, it can become elegant again; it can still be cultivated into a beautiful garden, but much effort will be required.  With the assistance of the all-powerful God beginning with confession, a vastly arrayed garden can soon flourish.

By His masterful workmanship, God turns the soil into a prosperous garden just as easily as when He took earth which “was void and empty” (Gen. 1:2), created many plants and animals, and the earth abounded with an abundance of life and beauty.

Our Lady was honored to provide a garden for Our Lord, and we extol the tremendous privilege confided to each woman here – whether God has blessed you with children or not.

Since your nobility, esteem, and value are rooted in the ability to have children, this is why it is such a sacrifice for women to become nuns and take a vow of chastity out of love for God.  But they are remembered for it… for all eternity:  for the Church has a special category for saintly women, but not a similar one for men, who made the sacrifice of not having children:  Virgins.

And for those mothers whom God asks to bring children into the world, a tremendous sacrifice is required.  Men know it, and sometimes, they don’t know what to say, but to make a joke, but it is not an easy 9 months, nor the months afterwards, nor the years following.  Why stop there, it is the sacrifice of all your life…  and your very life also.

Your children will always be your children.  Your womb, mind, and heart were so united, that even after they leave the womb, they cannot leave the mind and heart.  They are inseparable from you.

We conclude, then, with the obvious:  men know we have to treat a pregnant woman differently:  there is greater care, compassion, and a certain awe.  The challenge before every man and boy is, since you know how to treat a woman when she is pregnant, then strive to treat every female (mother, sister, daughter) the same way you would as if she were pregnant.  Show continual care, protection, and wonderment; hold her up in high esteem for the way God made her.

And not to leave all women and girls unchallenged, strive to view yourself at all times, whether pregnant or not, as having an elegant garden inside from which life comes forth, so that you live and breathe in accord with your exalted position, with grandeur, nobility, and tremendous value.

Even if not pregnant or elderly, you have a garden inside; giving the importance of behaving, dressing, and acting elegantly all the days of your life.

So that when the years of childbearing pass, the finer part of you, remains – your femininity.  Let the world stand in awe of you.  And when the end of the world arrives, you receive your body back, including your womb – your cherished garden – radiant, elegant, a treasure.

Happy Seventh Day of Christmas! Thank God for His many blessings. Make the most of each and every day. Enjoy the journey. The world will keep whizzing by but we must take time to smell the roses (or make a snowman). Each day is a gift, each person in your life is special. Take nothing for granted.

Coloring Pages for your children…. (click on the picture for larger size)

 

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The Oils of Life

From Beautiful Girlhood, Mabel Hale

The great engine upon the track might have every part complete, with fire in the box and steam in the boiler, but it will not go as it should unless it is well oiled. While perfect workmanship and fire and water are all necessary, the oil is needed also.

Just so it is with our lives. We may build high ideals and have lofty aspirations, may do many good deeds and be prepared for usefulness in many ways, but if there is not in our lives the oils that lubricate the machinery of life, we shall be unable to make progress.

You have heard the creak and groan of wheels that needed oil, and you may have tried to use a machine whose oil cups had become dry, friction dragging the whole machine. Unoiled lives are just the same, running hard, with much complaining. You can tell them by their lamentations and murmurings, and by the friction they produce.

There is the oil of kindness, which should go down into the heart, and which, working out from there, will make the daily life go smoothly. In fact, this oil is of little use if it does not go down into the heart; for any that is only put on the tongue or over some special act for the time being will soon wear off and leave the machine as creaky as before.

But each part listed in the table records all current registrations in the class or classes indicated by the alphabetical symbols given. In each case the first letter of the symbol is that of the class under which registration is made; the second,

One who has kindness of heart is able to look upon the failings of others with consideration and patience, for she remembers that she herself is not without fault. She who has this precious oil in her life is not saying cutting things and giving way to hard speeches, which wound and hurt her companions.

Another oil very good to put on with kindness is called politeness. Used alone it does not do thorough work, because it does not reach every part. It will help in conduct toward those who are higher or of more apparent consequence, but the tongue and actions will be rough as toward the poor and old and weak. But politeness with kindness makes a very smooth and pleasant combination of oils. Only when politeness is used in this way will it show a genuine character. Little courtesies help along very much in oiling life.

“Thank you,” and, “If you please,” are two short phrases that oil a request and make it smooth and pleasing to the one receiving it. “I beg your pardon,” and, “Please excuse me,” are two more little polite remarks that make good lubricants.

To rise and give your seat to an older person, to show particular courtesy to the aged, to speak respectfully to and about the old and infirm, are little things, but they make glad the hearts of the aged pilgrims through life and cause their faces to shine. It has been said that these little courtesies are like air cushions, nothing in them, yet they still the jars of life immensely. Let us have plenty of them to help us over the bumps of life.

Kind thoughts are also a good oil to place on troubled waters. If one will, by God’s help, always keep his thoughts of those about him kind and forgiving, no matter how trying things may be, then he can go along without friction.

Every unkind word and act is the result of some unkind thought. And some of these thoughts bear fruit almost immediately. So long as I can keep a thought of kindness in my heart I can treat my brother well.

Patience is another oil much needed in life’s machinery. There is so much that tends to annoy and fret a girl, that goes crosswise to what she wants it to go, there are so many days that she has to spend doing things she does not care to do, so many disappointments and little vexing things, that if she does not keep well-oiled with patience she is liable to become cross and sharp-spoken.

When anyone in a home runs low with patience it is keenly felt by all the rest. The expression of the countenance, the tone of the voice, the manner of speaking—all tell instantly that patience has run low.

Every girl needs a good supply of this precious lubricant, which not only smooths the rough places but gives to the life a fragrance that is very pleasant. She who is both kind and patient is always desirable.

Thoughtfulness and consideration are two more oils needed in any home. The members of a family live so closely together that when one member is rusty it affects all the rest, more or less.

On the other hand, if the daughter of a family can keep always well-oiled in tongue and spirit with kindness, thoughtfulness, and patience, her sunny, pleasant smile will drive the shadows away and bring the sunlight into the home.

When I find that I am getting sore and fretted with the annoyance of someone rubbing me the wrong way, I may know that my oil cup is getting low; for when I have plenty of the oils of life I can stand a great deal of rubbing without getting peevish.

And again, if I find I am rubbing someone else till he or she is getting all worn, I had better look; it may be that I am rough and need to stop the friction of my own acts with more oil.

The place to go to get fresh supplies of these precious oils is at the throne of God. Every girl who will seek may have of Him all the grace she needs to keep her life running sweet and smooth in her home and in her school, or wherever she may be.

Or if she must be with those who are full of friction and strife, she may, in spite of it all, be so covered with the precious, gentle oils that the sweetness and smoothness of her life will have a quieting effect.

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“Love is the most wonderful educator in the world; it opens up worlds and possibilities undreamed of to those to whom it comes, the gift of God. I am speaking of love which is worthy of the name, not of its many counterfeits. The genuine article only, based upon respect and esteem, can stand the test of time, the wear and tear of life; the love which is the wine of life, more stimulating and more heart-inspiring when the days are dark than at any other time,—the love which rises to the occasion, and which many waters cannot quench.”
-Annie S. Swan, Courtship and Marriage And the Gentle Art of Home-Making, 1894 http://amzn.to/2v6qt3U (afflink)

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Beautiful Vintaj Handcrafted Wire-Wrapped Rosaries available at http://www.meadowsofgrace.com

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