Musings of a Mother….Just for Fun

A Little Throwback… 🙂  ❤

I don’t have a Masters Degree or a Bachelors Degree in anything. I’m not aspiring to climb the ladder of corporate success nor do I have a management position in my place of employment. I probably SHOULD have some kind of a degree in motherhood. Come to think of it, I DO have a management position, but the wages aren’t too good and I certainly don’t get paid overtime!

With 11 children, I have spent most of my time cooking, cleaning, teaching, and being a referee!  Seems I have spent a good amount of time breaking up petty squabbles between 7 bossy, boisterous, bickering girls!  At least with the boys, one blow from the other guy and it’s over.  🙂 But with girls it sometimes seems like it never ends.

For instance, I remember when my 3 yr. old and 5 yr. old were having a spat.  The 5 yr. old ran up to me and said “Mommy, Gemma said I wish you were dead!”  Seeing the look of horror on my face Gemma quickly said “I did not!  I just said I wished your head was chopped off!”

Aren’t they Angels?My boys used to pose different dilemmas.  You know what they say: The bigger the boys, the bigger the toys.

I CAN understand why motors were invented.  I DON’T understand why the motors were put on just TWO WHEELS??

Do these people not like mothers??

With that recipe, add a pinch of teenage boy and watch out!  Every day I would wonder if only pieces of them would come home.   THEY wondered why their machines kept breaking down.  Actually they didn’t wonder.  They knew why…”Mom, have you been praying again??”

Look at those innocent faces: 😛

We live 3 miles down a gravel road where the nearest neighbor is a half mile away.  It’s somewhat secluded and well, hasn’t always been peaceful.  Peaceful is just not the right word.  More like…pandemonium!

Have you ever felt like Chicken Little – that the sky was falling down?

One day my mother was over at our house, visiting.  Our home is a berm home which means the second level is at ground level.  The house wasn’t done yet.  My mother, dear soul, was in another room when we heard an ear-piercing shriek and saw a flash go by!  It was our pig!!!  It had fallen through the ceiling!  The varmint had somehow got in upstairs and slipped through some floor joists!!

Things like that don’t happen to normal people. And if they do, they SHOULD be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence……but it wasn’t.

One day we came home to find our goat’s legs and udder dangling from the ceiling!  Imagine walking in on that!! It didn’t make for a very nice chandelier! She had fallen through the drop ceiling but didn’t make it all the way down and ended up straddling a pipe!!

I always liked the Ma & Pa Kettle movies!  But I didn’t necessarily want to live them!

We have friends who come over just for the Entertainment Factor.  There’s always someone to laugh with or laugh AT in our home!Do I yearn for some peace and quiet??  Yes I do! When everyone is gone and the house is silent, I think of all the things I could do:  catch up on some work, read a book, take a nap.  After an hour I begin to get antsy.  I COULD take a nap but it’s just too quiet..  Maybe I’ll watch a movie…..nah, that’s no fun when there’s no one to share it with. Read a book? How do you concentrate on a book when there’s no noise to contend with???

After a couple of hours I’m asking myself WHERE IS EVERYBODY??

My children…truly, they are the most wonderful people in the world.  What a joy it is, when they are young,  to have their little, trusting faces beaming at you because, well….they just love you that’s all ….(or they’re just hungry 😛 ).  Mom and Dad are their heroes!  They show it every day in many ways!

For instance, I love to  dance.  I grew up dancing with my Dad.  There’s a problem, though.  My dear husband dances like a broomstick!  So at every parish or wedding dance, my sweet handsome boys would make sure and ask their mother to dance with them.  They had several girls eagerly waiting in line.  But when the right song came on, they would know who to ask.  🙂Courting days have been very interesting around here for our girls!  There was never a dull moment as the suitors stood in line.  Dad and Mom knew why.  Our girls are sweet, lovable and hospitable.  Ok, the real reason is they make killer apple pies!

Was it worth the turbulent teens??  You bet it was!

There have been SO many joys: For example: When our youngest boy was 3 yrs old, he would say, “ME love you, Mommy”, only to repeat it every 5 minutes until his overflow of love was used up…..  Watching my boys as they grow up, pick their spouses, start their new business ventures, as responsible, hard-working adults…. having my 9 yr. old make up her own crochet patterns and coming up with a very nice finished product….. enjoying my married children’s families as we all gather around our table (we can fit 17 at our table)….. having enough people to play volleyball every night if we want to ….playing table tennis with my boys…and sometimes even winning!!

From the outside, it seems we haven’t taken the easiest path.  But every walk of life has its bumps along the way.  We have chosen to share those joys and bumps with the children God has elected to give us, hoping they will take the things we have done right and run with them, while taking our mistakes and learning from them.  That is the legacy we wish to pass on.

My husband and I enjoy our life.  It’s true, the pay isn’t too good but the rewards are endless! We consider ourselves quite wealthy:  Rich in Experiences, Prosperous in Love!

One day, when we are old we will sit in our rockers, surrounded by our children and grandchildren.  They will be hanging off every word we say because of our great wisdom. (OK, THAT was an exaggeration).

We will not be lonely, that is for sure! And we will appreciate every minute of it because we have invested our time in what matters most….our family and friends.

2006:

Virginia (oldest daughter on the right) was married and had one baby when this picture was taken:

2016:

Vinnie and Virginia’s (the Apron Lady’s) Family 2016:

And Now….

Never weary in cheering your family with your smile. It is not enough to avoid depressing them; you must brighten them up and let their spirits expand. Be especially vigilant when the little ones are around. Give them the alms of a smile, hard though it be at times. What a pity when children have to say, “I don’t like it at home.” – Christ in the Home, Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J. http://amzn.to/2rHXstq (afflink)

Make a statement with this lovely and graceful “God bless America” handcrafted apron….fully lined, double skirt….made with care. Aprons tell a beautiful story…..a story of love and sacrifice….of baking bread and mopping floors, of planting seeds and household chores. Sadly, many women have tossed the aprons aside and donned their business attire. Wear your apron with joy….it is a symbol of Femininity….”Finer” Femininity! 🌺 💗

Available here.

Review: Love these!! So far I’m only on the Spring edition but I love it! Short little inspiring blips here and there that a busy mom and wife can pick up and put down and receive encouragement and inspiration for the day to live out her Catholic faith and vocation! Thank you so much for putting these maglets together! The seller is wonderful with communication and didn’t hesitate to fix the problem when I hadn’t received my order. Meadows of Grace is a wonderful, personable, and professional shop that I will definitely return to!

All 5 Maglets! Finer Femininity is a small publication compiled to inspire Catholic women in their vocations. It consists of uplifting articles from authors with traditional values, with many of them from priests, written over 50 years ago. These anecdotes are timeless but, with the fast-paced “progress “of today’s world, the pearls within the articles are rarely meditated upon. This little magazine offers Catholic womankind support and inspiration as they travel that oftentimes lonely trail….the narrow road to heaven. The thoughts within the pages will enlighten us to regard the frequently monotonous path of our “daily duties” as the beautiful road to sanctity. Feminine souls need this kind of information to continue to “fight the good fight” in a world that has opposing values and seldom offers any kind of support to these courageous women. Inside the pages you will find inspiration for your roles as single women, as wives and as mothers. In between the thought-provoking articles, the pages are sprinkled with pictures, quotes and maybe even a recipe or two…

Available here.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

My Rule of Life

Before I begin this little excerpt about my own Rule of Life, I would like to say that I have one maxim I go by, reminding myself of it often. It is: “People are more important than things…and schedules, and accomplishments, etc.”

That being said, my thoughts on a Rule of Life:

I never heard of this term before until I picked up the book A Mother’s Rule of Life several years ago. I lived it, to a certain extent, but didn’t know what it was called.
One thing I so appreciated from that book was the part on the Spiritual Life…she talked about tithing your time to God.
She suggested a certain amount of time, 10% of your waking hours, that you dedicate to God …which I thought was pretty neat. It gave me something to go by and some kind of a goal.
It was then that I began to “journal” or write down my list on the spiritual things I wanted to accomplish throughout each day. And I would check them off as I went along. I was hung up on the numbers for awhile (making sure I got my “tithing” in) and then eventually that part fell by the wayside.
This began a habit in me that I have practiced for many years now…the writing down of what I wanted to accomplish spiritually each day. And this list-making reached out into other aspects of my life.
I firmly believe the spiritual duties we do each day are the foundation of any Rule of Life. It is at the top of my page each day in my Journal.

Here’s what mine looks like:
Morning Prayers (private)
Daily Mass, if possible (with children)
Mercy Chaplet (with children)
Family Rosary (with family)
Night Prayers (private)

In order to accomplish our spiritual things and the other things we need to do each day, we need to take care of our body.
How will we say our 15 minutes of Morning Prayer (if that’s what we have committed to) if we don’t get to sleep at a decent hour? It is valuable to put a time for rising on our list and sticking to it as much as we can. This will be difficult if the time for going to bed is ignored.
In the evening, there may be extenuating circumstances in raising a family…but we have to admit, a lot of the time we bring our fatigue on ourselves (talking to myself here). We lollygag at night, putting off going to bed for whatever reason and then, guess what?? We are too tired the next morning to get up and start the day right, with the first thing on our list….Morning Prayers. And then it goes downhill from there….Blah. So, remember, your accomplishments during the day and how well the day turns out begin the evening before!

This is what my “bodily” or “health” section looks like. It’s simple and doable:
Exercise (T-Tapp, a walk, tread milling, etc.)
Take supplements
Water (half a person’s body weight in ounces)

(You can add what time to bed, what time for rising and anything else that is important to you in this category)
Check them off as you do them!

Next is your household duties. The important stuff…and write it down. Mine probably looks different than yours does because I have girls who take over some of the big things. Here’s an example of what yours can begin with:

1.Meals
2. School
3.Laundry
(Add to this section of your list as you see fit but just the important things…the MUST-DO’S.)

Keep things picked up in between time…maybe plan a 20 minute hoopla with the kids as everyone takes a room. This could be done more than once a day…and added to your list.

And then, added to the bottom of your list….one big thing, like clean fridge. ….but only for 15 minutes!

And do it for 15 minutes each day until it is done! Set the timer. Oftentimes we can’t make it through a whole big job…and we tend to avoid it if it is big. So…break it up into doable slots of time. I am always amazed at how much I get done in 15 minutes and how quickly these big jobs get accomplished. A great feeling, indeed!

I think this is valuable…..Zig Ziglar (who is a big guru in the positive motivational field) said to plan into your schedule time with your family. Yes, I know as busy mothers, we are always with our family, working hard for them each day, rubbing shoulders with them, etc. But maybe we could write down…20 minutes with kids…and spend that time building Lego, reading a story, telling a story, crafting or whatever. Those are the kind of things that, built into your rule of life, you will never regret.
Write.it.down.

So a recap of your categories on your list:
Spiritual Duties
Bodily Health
Most Necessary Housework Things we Can’t NOT Do (always excepting extenuating circumstances)
One Big Thing (for 15 minutes)
Time With Family                                                                                                  Other things you’d like to accomplish                                            

Just a mention…try to get in a little breather for yourself each day, whether it is doing a bit of crocheting or looking up a special website online. It’s important we recharge, too!

All the other little things you have to accomplish each day can revolve around this list. This is your go-to, your foundation. It won’t be perfect. That’s ok. And you can write the little things down, too. It’s great when we can check things off! And if you don’t get them done that day, put them on the next day and try again!

An Example List:

This may not be detailed enough for you. Here is the link to Holly Pierlot’s A Mother’s Rule of Life. It has been years since I read it, my daughter-in-law is reading it and loving it!

A quote from My Prayer Book, Father Lasance:
“One of the means,” says a spiritual writer, “of acquiring and perfecting in us the interior life, which raises a man above the merely terrestrial and animal life to the height of the divine life in Jesus Christ consists in adopting and following a rule of life, which does not leave the employment of our time to caprice, but assigns to each moment its own proper duty”
“Let all things be done decently and according to order.” says St. Paul. (1Cor. xiv. 40)
“Where there is no rule there is no order,” says Father Hamon. “We live by caprice and fancies. With a rule of life, on the contrary, all is done in an orderly manner; each duty has its proper time set apart for it; nothing is forgotten; nothing is done in haste or in a careless manner.
Thanks to a rule of life, all is done well; and that which is true in regard to order is equally so in regard to practices of piety.
With a rule of life they are done with exactitude; without a rule they have no fixed hour; we defer them, then we again defer them, and we finish by omitting them entirely.”

Creating a home filled with order and cleanliness (as much as is possible in your state of life and in your unique circumstances 😊)communicates a heart that is ordered and pure. Take a moment today to make your home more simply organized and see how the sweet savor blesses those around you. -Emilie Barnes, Keep It Simple for Busy Women http://amzn.to/2y2JoN3

Lovely Handmade Doilies by Rosie

Available here.

To the modern mind, the concept of poverty is often confused with destitution. But destitution emphatically is not the Gospel ideal. A love-filled sharing frugality is the message, and Happy Are You Poor explains the meaning of this beatitude lived and taught by Jesus himself. But isn’t simplicity in lifestyle meant only for nuns and priests? Are not all of us to enjoy the goodness and beauties of our magnificent creation? Are parents to be frugal with the children they love so much?

 

 

For over half a century, Catholic families have treasured the practical piety and homespun wisdom of Mary Reed Newland’s classic of domestic spirituality, The Year and Our Children. With this new edition, no longer will you have to search for worn, dusty copies to enjoy Newland’s faithful insights, gentle lessons, and delightful stories. They’re all here, and ready to be shared with your family or homeschooling group. Here, too, you’ll find all the prayers, crafts, family activities, litanies, and recipes that will help make your children ever-mindful of the beautiful rhythm of the Church calendar.

We Will Rebuild!

Yesterday, Catholics from all over the world watched in horror as the great Church of Paris, Notre Dame, was succumbing to flames! Over 800 years of Catholicism….the Masses, the Pilgrimages, the Benedictions and oh! so much more has taken place there!

Some of my own children have been there as they took part in the Chartres Pilgrimage… three times they visited the Cathedral…. a landmark of our Faith!

Some people have said, “Look guys, it’s only a Church. Christ is in our hearts.” And, of course, this is true…and a beautiful thing.

But, as Catholics, we know that this monument of generations of faithful Catholics, this House of God that Our Lord has resided in for centuries was more than “just a building.” It was a symbol of our Faith, standing erect and majestic, in spite of the troubles of the centuries that it has seen.

The secular news spoke of it….

“For generations, Notre Dame has been a place of pilgrimage and prayer, and, even as religion in France has declined for decades, it remained the beating heart of French Catholicism, open every day for Mass.” –

Notre Dame unveils some of the most coveted relics in Christendom. Among them is the Holy Crown, believed by many to be from the crown of thorns placed on the head of Jesus, and which the cathedral calls its “the most precious and most venerated relic.” Catholics have prayed with the Holy Crown for more than 16 centuries, according to the cathedral. -CNN

It was quite tragic to see and it reiterated what many of us faithful Catholics feel in our hearts about the Church these days:

I know that everyone has already said this, but the first thought I had seeing Notre Dame in flames is: This is a physical representation of what has already happened invisibly to the Church in France and in Europe. It seems the fire was caused by “renovation work,” just as the burning down of the liturgy, doctrine, morality, was caused by the “renewal” ….. -Peter Kwasnieski

Another quote, this time from The Catholic Gentleman:

My heart is broken. Today, we lost one of the most beautiful churches in the world. For 800 years in stood as a transcendent reminder of God’s presence among men. Built to house priceless works of art, holy relics, and above all the sacraments, it was made by a world that no longer exists, the world of Christendom in which the holy mysteries of faith permeated everything.

As I watched the images of one of the great landmarks of Christian Europe burning to the ground, I could not help but see a tragic metaphor for the Western church today. We are heirs to so much beauty, so much truth, so much faith. And what have we done? We have squandered it, rejected it, and collectively shaken our fist in God’s face, through bloody revolution and even more subtly through apathy. Rather than setting our eyes on heaven, like the great Gothic arches and rose windows invited us to do, we attempted to drag God down to us, to make him in our own image. We wanted him to accommodate our whims, our appetites, our sins. Plagued by horrific abuses, worldliness, and compromises, the church in the West, despite our veneer of respectability, is very much on fire. We have left our first love (Rev. 2:4), and we are reaping the tragic consequences. – Sam Guzman

 

I sent these words to my daughters and daughter-in-law as we were watching the fire unfold. Some of us were in tears, we all were heavy of heart.

My daughter-in-law wrote back….

A Message of Hope:

One of the reporters just gave an account of several horrible historical things like the Revolution and what this church has withstood over the ages and has SURVIVED!! He said, “Out of the ashes she will rise and RISE she will!” The power of our Christian faith will endure all. Have hope! Now if that isn’t inspiring,, I DONT KNOW WHAT IS!!!! That actually brought the tears on…

And it brought to mind….

Yes, WE WILL REBUILD.

This is what we have been working on throughout the years as we have seen the destruction of our Faith….the watering down of all the Church has stood for since Christ founded it.

We are rebuilding, from the inside out!

This is what we focus on here….learning about the Faith, the sacramentals, the saints, how to live the liturgy within the home and the significance of our relationships in rebuilding Catholic culture.

These things need to be taught and passed on because so much has been lost. These are the true treasures of the Church that we hold in our hearts and that we can live out in our everyday lives.

We are rebuilding Catholic Civilization from within…we parents, teachers, laborers, single men and women. We are renewing our Faith by educating ourselves on what has always been important as Catholics….what our Faith is truly about….And how we can live this out each day…in our families, our schools, our work places, our community.

We are heirs to so much beauty, so much truth, so much faith. We must not squander it.

Yes, Notre Dame will be rebuilt. But the real icon of our Faith is in us. And we have been rebuilding and will continue to rebuild. The Faith, our Catholic culture will come back but it is up to us.

This life is very short. Let us do what we can, with charity and zeal, to rebuild our beloved Catholic Faith!

The awesome sight within Notre Dame after the fire…

 

 

Questions/My Answers & A Gallery

I have had some ladies ask me questions that I have not had the time to answer. So I thought I would take this time to answer them here. Please forgive me for not getting right back to some of the questions. There are too many things to do and not enough time.…

Question:

I would like to ask for advice…. because my family also believes that daughters stay at home until marriage. Would postponing a career still be wise if you’re still single after your twenties, yet feel that God is not calling you to religious life? Also, what if you are the youngest or one of few siblings, how would you keep yourself busy at home without young brothers and sisters?

Answer:

I think one question to ask is…Does your daughter WANT a career instead of marriage? When you say a career, do you mean the time and money put into a college degree in order to pursue a particular field? Or do you mean a job for “something to do” or to earn some income until she finds Mr. Right?

We encourage our girls to find many things to keep them busy….in a more organic atmosphere. Helping the parish, volunteering (or being paid) at our little school, working for their siblings with the nieces and nephews all fall into the category of “organic”. They have also had jobs in our town close by, and this is a good chance for them to learn responsibility and how to handle the world…mind you, we are picky where they work. Once they get of age, though, this is their decision, but hopefully they will listen to our advice.

I do believe it is important, if they have a job, that they still live at home. They need our support….and I don’t think it is a valuable thing to live on their own (or with a friend) unless needed….(and there may be times when it is.) Too much independence is not necessarily a good thing. The world and its maxims pull and pull….

So back to your question…no, I don’t think college and a career are an answer to filling in time. There are so many fulfilling things that can help a young lady grow…spiritually and mentally….that she does not have to seek her fulfillment in a “career”.

As far as keeping busy at home….your daughter can learn a craft….and sell her wares. This is always exciting (well, not all the time…but when it’s not, then it’s called “character-building”). But to make something beautiful is therapy…and to sell it is satisfying!

Every girl has skills and talents that can be tapped into in order to fulfill her own life and bring joy to others. This must be cultivated! And then pray that the flowering of her vocation comes to fruition!

Charity is huge for the fulfillment of a young lady still at home. If she makes herself busy at the service for others, her inner happiness will grow. In turn, she will “turn heads” and Mr. Right may be just around the corner!

A beautiful balance of prayer, outside activity (whatever it may be…going to a community function, babysitting or cleaning house for someone, etc.), home chores, self-improvement (books, online classes, learning home-skills), and a fulfilling craft can fill up each day. When offered to God in the morning, it will serve her tremendously better than seeking a career.

On a side note – Yes, we need good nurses and good teachers. If your daughter wishes to pursue these noble careers, she should also be ready to leave it aside to raise her own children, should she get married.

Here’s a post to peruse that I wrote a while back.

If You Want to Find the Right Person…..You Must BE the Right Person

 

Question:

You mentioned in your second point (in the post, Raising Girls) that if the kids ever said no or struck you they would be swiftly punished. Can you elaborate on that?

Answer:

I am not against spanking used with discretion, balance and without anger. So…if my child said no to me or struck me they could see, first off, through my expression, that I was horrified…this was no little thing, it is not acceptable, I am your mom and you DO NOT step over the line!

Then I would spank their hand or their leg. Nothing terrible. If they began to cry and kept it up, they were sent to the office (right off the kitchen) to calm down. When they were done, they could come out. For the most part, this lasted 1 – 5 minutes. I was always checking on them….and never left them in there too long…though I found that generally wasn’t a problem.

Consistency is important. I know there are strong-willed children out there that are difficult. Keep it up….your own consistency will pay off.

Remember….this consistency is not all about spanking.

There are other areas to be consistent. Are you letting them get away with being controlling and pushy throughout each day? If you have a child that gets very angry when he doesn’t get his way, take away the object that is desired….or some other consequence. This won’t be perfect with so many littles but keep trying. (Believe me, my consistency wasn’t perfect!)

It is important, too, that you are surrounding them with joy and love in between times. Then they won’t want to break friendship with you and will want to get over the “bump” in order to have that mutual bond. This doesn’t mean you have to be continually saying encouraging things, doing stuff with them, etc.. No. Just a general atmosphere of love and joy. Not easy. Not perfect. But something to strive for.

Pray for guidance from the Holy Ghost…and strength from Our Lady who sees it all.

Question:

In your post of Raising Daughters you did not mention about boys. Any tips?

Answer:

Boys need men. When my boys were able to help their dad on his construction work, they were encouraged to work with him, in between schooling. In my estimation, the work becomes more important. Sitting in a desk for long periods of time as the boys hit puberty is not necessarily bad but they had better be wearing off some of that testosterone with some good, sweaty, self-fulfilling work!

Mom oftentimes has to take second fiddle as the boys learn to work. In other words, we begin to encourage them to take flight (in controlled circumstances) and don’t get personally offended when the men are their idols. They still love us, but they are learning to be men. And we have to let go of that control that we used to have, to a certain extent. Not that they don’t have to listen to us and do their daily duties, but it may become harder for them to listen to Mom. Insist on it, but don’t think that isn’t normal.

Encourage them in their hobbies…even if it means a mess. Oh boy! How many times have my boys made a mess in the yard working on something! It was irritating…but oh! so valuable!

Don’t let them spend time in their rooms besides sleeping and getting dressed. Technology? Well….pretty much nil! Boys are better off without it…unless highly monitored. Right now, my Angelo is working on painting a picture on the counter….watching a Bob Ross Youtube. But he is right here where we can see everything. He looks for airsoft guns on Amazon….but right in front of us. Never let them have at it with technology!

The hardest thing for me with my boys was letting go. As a homeschooling mom I had much control. With the girls, they still stuck pretty close by and listened, for the most part. The boys were much more independent and it was hard. Our oldest son was pretty much on his own by 17 years old and was building a wall for the monks in Wyoming by 18. He met his future wife there and ….well, that was it! Ouch! but it is what we have raised them, for, right?

So, my point in this is, encourage healthy and wholesome independence….not without respect for Mom and Dad, but just knowing that, when done the right way, it is a very good thing!

I know there is much more….purity (which is huge for a boy), work ethic, etc. It would make a long post and I am hoping that you are tuned in to this website because I do have lots of posts on this type of stuff. Look in the different categories (especially parenting) or put it in the search bar.

And now for the gallery that I wanted to put before you so you can see some progress in the Lenten Activities (and other stuff)….

 

Haha! Huckleberry (the dog) is making sure Ethan can’t go anywhere!

I just had to laugh when Z sent me this photo! What precious, pooped little people! haha

Grandpa and Toby…

Rosie has had a couple of better weeks. She has taken a downspin the last week but we are hoping it is very temporary.

Painting her trunk.

Mom lives in an apartment attached to our home. What a blessing she is to us! 💖Here is the little gazebo that Vincent built for her this year using an old picket fence. It is so quaint and pretty and will look beautiful once the vines start growing up the sides and all the flowers are in full array!!

Rosie is blocking and starching new doilies!

Rosie and Agnes happened to have the same pattern on their dresses!

Rosie and Margy…

Lots of new baby kids at Colin and Z’s.

New puppies over here!

Cottage cheese pancakes are one of our favorites! And you don’t feel all carbed out afterwards! 1 1/2 c. oats, ground in blender, 4 or 5 eggs, 1 tsp. vanilla and 1 1/2 cups cottage cheese.

Put in blender and you have batter for some lovely and delicious pancakes.

Slather with good butter (Kerry Gold) and organic 100% maple syrup. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Mike and Jeanette’s littles!

Helping in the garden…

Kansas is not Kansas without spring prairie fires.

It can be very beautiful.

Our neighbor farmers burning their field out our front door.

Lovely!

Unfortunately, during a burn, our son-in-law, Vinnie got badly burned.

The unfamiliar four-wheeler he was driving stalled amid the flames.

Here he is ….healing up.

Laetare Sunday…with Rosie’s lovely doily underneath the Infant of Prague.

Passion Sunday, the Infant of Prague is donned with the purple of Lent once again. And a purple doily created by Rosie.

Agnes is working on her Lenten pathway to the cross.

Our own Crown of Thorns is being filled up with the flowers of sacrifices.

Theresa’s Crown of Thorns is getting filled with flowers, too!

Agnes has her Resurrection Garden prepared!

Just had to share. Here men are kneeling in Poland, praying the Rosary, led by the priest.

Raising Girls…My Story

A Thursday Throwback….

How did you raise such wonderful girls?

I’ve been asked that a few times. I can tell you that I sometimes am as surprised as the people who ask me. 🙂 It’s like I just woke up one day and said, “Wow we’ve done okay! How did we do that?”

It’s not that our training wasn’t purposeful…it was. But with human weakness so apparent in our parenting, with imperfect circumstances, etc., it was hard to know the outcome.

And, things are not picture-perfect (it looks so good online, doesn’t it?) My girls are human and have many faults, like all those born under Eve’s lineage.

Also, life is not done yet and I have children at home. Dynamics are different than they used to be so I don’t know the outcome. At this point, though, I am very grateful for how things have transpired.

I’ve tried here to pinpoint along the way some of the things that we did… to actually be able to put them into words….and I do feel I have a few things I can share with you.

The Golden Nuggets of Suffering

Lent …a good time to meditate on suffering. A Throwback for Thursday:

by Leane VanderPutten

Lent makes us pause, gives us a chance to think of Our Lord’s suffering….a suffering we, as mere mortals, have a hard time wrapping our heads around.

I don’t pretend to understand the problem of human suffering. At times, it seems pointless, endless and utterly self-defeating…at times.

Those are the moments we are tempted to look up and say, “Ummmm….Dear Lord, are you SURE You know what You are doing here???”

But, good Catholics that we try to be, we resist the temptation to ask God what He is about, or why He does what He does….at least we try not to do it in accusing tones.

I believe God understands because, after all:

“Evil is a mystery, a scandal and it will always be so. It is necessary to do what one can to eliminate it, to relieve suffering, but it always remains present in our personal lives, as well as in the world.”

My Morning and Night Prayers – Sharing With You….

Vincent Vidal. French (1811-1887)

I am going to share with you something close to my heart, rather personal, and that I do every day….

It is my Morning and Night prayers.

Someone wrote to me about a year ago and asked what I say for morning and night prayers and it made me think that not everyone has a guideline for this sort of thing.

Through the years and my own research…good prayer books, wise mentors, etc., I have come up with some basic prayers that I say for morning and night prayers that I think could be helpful to some.

I Give Up!

Disclaimer   🙂

Marriage is difficult. The daily irritations that rub, like sandpaper, can cause wounds that make it hard to love and respect the one whom you are called to do just that…..love and respect.

Oh sure, we’ve picked up the books. We’ve made a few changes here and there. Things seemed to get better, then something hits the fan, and we are right back where we started. Round and round it goes. We’re tired of it! We want to just throw up our hands and say, “I give up! I am going to just shut down, live my life and he can live his!”

Is Your Marriage All It’s Cracked Up to Be?

Tags

catholic marriage

The last few months have been stressful around here. You probably have your own stresses you’re dealing with. And, with stress, comes the lack of ability to focus on what is important. We tend to let it all get to us and start taking it out on the people who mean the most to us.

It is important to step back and realize that our goal is to make the most out of each day….and one of the top things on our list is working on our relationship with our husband.

So….let’s get down to the basics and put our marriage back on the front burner!

Is Your Marriage All It’s Cracked Up to Be by Leane VanderPutten

Let’s face it, we do have a choice on how our life plays out. Sometimes we feel we are just spinning our wheels and making no progress. We become victims of circumstances and, instead of taking control of our emotions and the way we react, we flounder…and then lash out at those who seem to make our life more difficult. Believe me, this is not the way to live.

You see, we don’t marry Prince Charming and live happily ever after. We are humans and we have faults….many faults….Both of us, husband and wife. It takes consistent effort to make a good marriage. Every day, every hour, every minute, we need to be thinking the right thoughts, praying the right prayers, listening to the right people and doing the right things….

Although I am not a marriage guru, I have had many victories (among the failures), and, in my humble opinion, the right things that we need to be doing every day are:

1. Prayer….I struggle with prayer. I think we all do.  I do know that it has to be the foundation of everything else in our lives. As St. Francis de Sales says, “If you haven’t got prayer, you haven’t got anything.” Consistency is important. We don’t necessarily have to add more prayers, but we need to work on making our prayers more heartfelt, with less self-inflicted distractions. We DO need to be saying the Family Rosary. The Consecration to Our Lady, St. Louis de Montfort style, is very, very valuable, too.

2. Nipping those negative and critical thoughts in the bud before they become monsters. Okay, you have probably tried the other way…you know, letting those destructive thoughts soak up all your brain cells? So….how does that feel? Does it make you feel good? Does it build your relationship with your husband? Do you find that your kids act better while you are steaming about their father’s inadequacies?? Of course not! Hey, you had better put a brake on those thoughts! You have no idea what a downward spiral that can be and where it can lead to. NOT worth it!! Say a prayer, an ejaculation. Thank God for little things. Get interested in something. Don’t let the crazy, lousy thoughts take hold…..Make the effort. God will bless you for it. This is no small thing….those little thoughts can become huge problems!

2. Reading good books on changing your own attitude….not books on how he should be treating you. This is important. You might pick up a relationship book. It may have great points on having a wonderful relationship. In this book it deals with men and women’s responsibilities to each other for making their marriage better….All good stuff. The only thing is, when you are already fighting some stinkin’ thinkin’ about your husband, you DO NOT need to be reading what he needs to be doing.

Choose books that deal with YOU, the woman….with your attitude. There are some very good books out there….albeit mostly Protestant but some Catholic, too (look on My Book List). There are many good books on attitude changers, too. Find them. Dig them up.

I’ve said it before, you can only change yourself.  And you need changing….we all do! Roll up your sleeves and get to it! Too much is at stake here.

3. Talking to the right people…By the right people, I mean those who will help you to shift your attitude…..not those who enable you to wallow in your self-pity more than you already are.

When I was frustrated and feeling sorry for myself, I went to my mother. Not because she was my mother (that was a nice perk, though) but for a couple of reasons…I didn’t want to air out my problems to just anyone. I knew in my heart that this was something that I had to get through, that his faults were exactly that, just faults, and I had plenty of my own. I didn’t need just anyone knowing all I was feeling at the time….because all those feelings were just passing.

The other reason I chose my mom is that she always, gently, helped me to see just what I had for a husband. She helped me to realize I had a lot to be thankful for. And this is what I wanted in a mentor….Someone that would help me to turn my thinking around when it was slipping down a dark alley way. I came out of those talks (and I only resorted to this type of outlet when I just felt I couldn’t overcome the lousy thoughts myself) refreshed. I had vented. I realized how small these things really were and I was ready to give of myself once again.

Find a mentor like that. Pray for one. They are worth their weight in gold.

Don’t abuse it though. Most of the work is going to be done by you. But every once in a while you may need someone to talk to. MAKE SURE it’s someone who is all for you, your spouse and your marriage!

4. Kick that No-Good-For-Nothing Self-Pity right out the door and into the lagoon!

Self-pity is a killer! It is a pond of scum that swallows any good thoughts that try to poke their way out of the filth. Don’t give in to it!!

Look at your life….I know you can find so many things to be grateful for. Keep bringing those persistent negative thoughts back to a spirit of thankfulness! It doesn’t matter that you don’t feel it. God will bless your efforts.

The beginning quote of this article says that a good marriage, like anything worthwhile, takes EFFORT, WORK, PRAYER!! It is a top priority. It means everything to the success of your family life.

Self-pity will strangle you and your loved ones quicker and with more efficacy than anything I know of. It is a woman’s worst enemy and woe to those who wallow in it. Thankfulness overcomes self-pity. Pray to Our Lady for a Spirit of Gratefulness.

Life is a great adventure! Every suffering, every failure, every knock-down, if taken with the right attitude, will help us to grow. We will teach our children how to overcome their own difficulties….and they will have plenty…just as we do.

It is what life is about….the Royal Road of the Cross. And if we choose to get better, not bitter, so many blessings and joys will be sprinkled throughout. We need to have our eyes open to them. They are God’s gift to us as we struggle along our own, unique path of a Beautiful, Joyful, Catholic Woman!!

Are your thoughts building a castle or a manure pile? It is vital to control the thoughts we have in our most important relationship…the one with our husband!

“These diapers that are changed daily, these meals that are cooked again and again, these floors that are scrubbed today only to get dirty tomorrow — these are as truly prayer in a mother’s vocation as the watches and prayers of the religious are in theirs.” -Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children

The Get Well Fund for Rosie will be up for a little while longer if any would like to help. Father VanderPutten, in Nigeria, will be saying a Triduum of Masses for those who donate. Thank you kindly and please remember Rosie in your prayers.

The page is here.

Gin’s aprons are amazing….as many of you know. They are well made with great-quality material. She puts love and care into each one and the detail is fabulous! She got wiped out during Christmas but is working on her inventory. You can take a peek here.

Make a statement with these lovely and graceful aprons. Aprons tell a beautiful story…..a story of love and sacrifice….of baking bread and mopping floors, of planting seeds and household chores. Sadly, many women have tossed the aprons aside and donned their business attire. Wear your apron with joy….it is a symbol of Femininity….”Finer” Femininity! 🌺 💗

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

Is Your Faith First? My Personal Journey…

A little throwback….

by Leane VanderPutten

Oftentimes in life we will need to make decisions. What will be the motivation behind those decisions? I think that it will depend on who we are hanging out with, what books we are reading and on our prayer life at the time. One day we will also realize how much the good turns in our lives had to do with the people who were praying for us.

Here’s a little story of some good decisions I made when I was foot loose and fancy free. Oftentimes I look back in gratitude because I realize it was simply a grace, one that I thankfully cooperated with, and that things could have SO went the other way.  I had the right information at the right time.

I was twenty-one and from all outward appearances, life was treating me good and I had it made! Looking pretty good, aren’t I?  😀

A young lady, in my blossoming prime, I was off to a good start on my “career” in the big city of Regina. Regina was the capital city of the Province of Saskatchewan in the middle of Canada. It had lots to offer….if you like the glamors of the big city…the good, the bad and the ugly.

I was a dedicated young lady working as head secretary of an office. I was 21, had full run of the office, called the shots and had the job of hiring and firing. I would say for someone my age it was a position that was indeed coveted.
I had started working there when I was 17 during the summers as a part time help to an elderly woman who had been working there for years. She decided to retire, and they asked me if I wanted the job! I jumped at it!

It was a job with much responsibility and I handled it well. I was able to buy myself a brand new car…a 1985 Mercury Cougar! It was pretty slick. I had an apartment of my own and the freedom to do what I wished.

A new computer program had been introduced and they were flying me to the United States! Anyone from Canada would look at that as a REAL opportunity! I was going to New Holland, Pennsylvania to take part in a computer seminar where an employee from each of the offices throughout North America was going to meet!

We were wined and dined while we were there. We ate seven course meals and shoo-fly pie. It was really neat to see the carriage-drawn Amish families and learn of their lifestyle. I rubbed shoulders with some of the big-wigs of the company, which was pretty interesting, too. It was all new, fascinating and heady.

I enjoyed the pampering and I was intent on learning this program as best I could.
I came back from that trip and began to incorporate the new program into our office. The boys in the back warehouse looked on me with a new respect.
I had a lot of things going for me.

In hindsight I can see now that I was one of the fortunate ones. I was fortunate because in my young life, I had struggled enough that I did not glory in all of this. It could have went straight to my head but instead there was an extreme empty ache.

I had  already had lots of obstacles. I grew up in an alcoholic home. It was not an abusive home but the influence of alcohol had wreaked its havoc and this had caused me to suffer. This suffering was good. Isn’t that the way? At the time, those things that are most painful, become our greatest gifts. Looking back, I am very grateful.

You know what they say, “Pain is Gain.” My gain is that it caused me to search for what life was really about. While everyone around me was falling into the sins of youth that would take them years to climb out of, if they ever did, I was searching.

The answers to life didn’t come easy. I knew that God was in the picture, I knew that He was the answer to man’s search for happiness but I didn’t know how to apply that.

I was born and raised a Catholic and I attended Mass. Unfortunately, things were pretty liberal in the Church at that time. I did not know about the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist until well AFTER I graduated….thirteen years of Catholic school, rubbing shoulders with priests and nuns!

I remember, at this particular time, I talked to my sister-in-law’s mother. She was a woman I respected…a simple, warm-hearted housewife with a great love for her family.

I was wondering what I should do….where my search would take me? My closest friends were leaving the Church. Nothing was there for them.

There was an Alliance church down the way. The pastor was dynamic and animated and was drawing many of the youth to his side of the fence….yes, even my closest Catholic friends.

Then there were the ones who drifted over to the Pentecostal Church…..

Should I follow?

Mrs. Botelho, that dear Portuguese woman who prayed the rosary every day,  looked me in the eyes and, with a conviction that spoke volumes, said with her heavy accent, “Whatever you decide to do, Leane, don’t leave the Catholic Church.”

 I hung onto that.

In the meantime, immersed in  urban life mentality, surrounded by worldliness, I struggled.

It was at that time that, through my mom, I got a hold of some good old Catholic Books. You know, those ones you find at garage sales or church sales because they were obsolete.

They had their effect on me and I found out that truth is never obsolete. It is never-changing and eternal.

I read ones that especially pertained to motherhood and youth. Books like Clean Love in Courtship, The Catholic Youth’s Guide to Life and Love, The Catholic Marriage Manual, The Christian Home. They were my saving grace. They helped me to form a purpose for my life but I did not know how it would unfold.
One thing I knew for sure –  this career was not the life for me. I had decided what I wanted. I wanted to be a wife and mother. I wanted a large family. And I could see that the position I had, coveted as it seemed, was not getting me any closer to the goal I really wanted.

The books I was reading enhanced my restlessness. And it was a good restlessness.

I realized I had to make some changes. In spite of the rueful looks, shaking heads and bewildered relatives, I gave my two week notice, trained the next secretary that had been hired out of many, many resumes and ended up leaving that job.

It hurt me that I was a disappointment to many…..to my boss who had just flown me to the states for the new program. I was also a disappointment to many of my aunts and uncles. They could not understand why I was leaving such a position to go and pump gas in a small town for my mom and dad’s little business.

My friends already knew I was weird so it didn’t surprise them. 😀

I knew what I was doing. I didn’t know exactly where the path would direct me but it was the beginning for me of a journey that would lead me to work at a little Catholic shrine in North Dakota for a dear priest who taught me to love my Catholic faith. I consecrated myself to Our Lady there and I met my future husband.

I have never regretted those decisions. “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you!”

The way was not mapped out for me in a letter from God. There was much of “self” involved in my decisions….many stumblings. We are human, after all. God works in spite of our humanness, as long as we are of good will. That is why I am indeed grateful where my path led me and that I was given the grace to say “yes” to Him.

He did not say it was going to be easy, but it is simple. There have been many bumps, many struggles and many, many joys!

What ever you give up for the sake of Him He will bless. And whatever you grab hold of, for the sake of Him, He will bless.

With eleven wonderful children, and (almost) sixteen grandchildren, I feel very blessed. They are all living close by and life is grandly busy, hectic and full of love.

So….if your heart is telling you to make some hard decisions for the sake of your faith, your future or your family, know that you will be paid back a hundredfold for it!

At the time it may not be apparent. You may get backlash from family and friends. It may seem like that black cloud is settling and not going to leave. But eventually the clouds dispel, and you can see where God has blessed you in many, many ways.

Do not be afraid to take the steps you need to take in order to keep your faith and your family first in your life! God is not outdone in generosity!

Like Finer Femininity on Facebook

Every morning, we may be tempted to put off our prayers until “later” or skip them altogether because we have much to do and action is where it is at. If we allow the devil to win in this very first struggle of the day, he will win many more of the battles throughout the day. Our Morning Prayers, whether they be said while nursing a baby or changing a diaper, need to be a priority and the very foundation of our daily life.

Beautiful Vintaj Brass Wire St Zelie Rosary! Lovely, Durable…

Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality!

Available here.

 

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.