The Important Choice

Front, – Fr. Kenneth Walker, 1986-2014, R.I.P.+

From Plain Talks on Marriage, Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 1929

The Important Choice

The point of the choice of their state of life, or of their vocation, on the part of their children must be of great concern to parents, and should always enlist their keen interest, sympathetic guidance and substantial help.

Whilst the children are and should remain free in the choice of a vocation, the counsel and advice of the parents can be of great assistance to them.

But the parents must not grow dictatorial and narrow in the matter, nor allow themselves to be swayed by some blind prejudice or selfish leaning. Their exclusive aim must be the child’s own best interests.

Perhaps your sons or daughters want to consecrate themselves to God in the priesthood or the Religious life. If they exhibit any such tendencies, foster and nurse them prudently and fondly, thanking God for this great grace the while.

God can hardly confer a greater distinction upon a family than by calling one or more of its children to His exclusive service, either in His sanctuary as priests and ministers of the divine mysteries, or as friars, brothers, monks or nuns to pursue His works of religion, education and charity.

The opinion has been expressed—although it has never been authoritatively endorsed by the Church—that if a family gives a child to God in the way just mentioned, the entire family goes to heaven.

The Lord Is Generous

It would be imprudent to stress this mere opinion too far, but the gospel tells us that some of the relatives of the apostles got to be very close to our Savior; and they were no doubt drawn to Him through the apostles.

The Lord is as generous today as He was then. And the faith has been preserved in many a Catholic family, and in every member of it, mainly through the consecration of one of the children to God’s special service.

Hard as it may be for parents to surrender a child to God in this manner—He usually asks the best one—the pain of separation will be compensated for, not only by an eternal reward, but also by a hundredfold reward in this life, in the shape of the many joys and consolations coming to them directly or indirectly from this child.

From none of their children who remain with them and get married by and by, do they ordinarily derive the same comfort, even on earth.

God is good to those who love Him. Whereas, if parents thwart the high designs of a priestly or Religious vocation which God has upon their children, they may seriously incur His displeasure, and because of the various misfortunes resulting to them and their children, they may live bitterly to rue their selfishness and stubbornness.

On the other hand no prudent parent will attempt to influence a child unduly to become a priest or Religious in the absence of a call from on high. This would be exposing the child to the risk of serious unhappiness and spiritual disaster.

Question: If the home is such a powerful factor in the future of the children of a nation, why are such powerful groups in the nation arrayed against the home?

Answer: Precisely because the home is powerful. If it were not an important institution, the enemies of God and of man would leave it alone. Because the people who control the home control the future, because parents are the first representatives of God on earth, because within the home is the hope of morality . . . . for these reasons the men who wish to control the future, who hate God, and who would for their own selfish purposes wipe out morality attack the home openly or subtly.
-Fr. Daniel A. Lord, S.J.. Questions People Ask About Their Children, 1950’s

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The Excellence of Motherhood

 

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 1927

Nature’s Great Mystery

The labor of childbirth for the mother remains one of the deepest mysteries of nature. Why something that is so necessary for the preservation of the human race should be coupled with so much difficulty, pain and danger baffles our understanding.

The fall in paradise and the consequent curse inflicted by the Lord upon woman hardly accounts for what we call the natural mystery; for human nature, whilst it dropped from its preternatural and supernatural elevation through the fall, is not worse or otherwise than it would have been, had it never been elevated.

Why then is childbirth naturally so arduous and perilous?

The Excellence of Motherhood

The best explanation seems to be given by the high dignity and sublime prerogative of motherhood. Nature demands a corresponding payment for whatever distinctions and privileges she bestows.

She confers no higher excellence and gives no loftier station than that of motherhood: hence the big price she demands in return in the way of maternal suffering, anxiety and dread.

Her reward for their endurance, however, is also in proportion to their size and intensity.

Our Lord expresses it thus: “A woman, when she is in labor, hath sorrow, because her hour is come; but when she hath brought forth the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world” (John, 16, 21).

By common consent mankind gives more consideration, appreciation and gratitude to the mother than to the father. We have a fine historical illustration of this in the rapturous exclamation of the woman in regard to our Savior: “Blessed is the womb that bore Thee, and the breasts that nursed Thee” (Luke, 11, 27).

She centered all her admiration and gave all the credit to the mother. Jesus had no father according to the flesh, of course; yet the woman was not aware of this when she declared her sentiments.

The mother naturally seems also to get greater joy out of parenthood than does the father. She feels a sweeter transport and a higher pride in being able to point to her children and say with the ancient Roman matron: “Behold my jewels.”

In view of all this a sensible woman willingly resigns herself to the ordeal of motherhood when she feels called to it by God.

What Mankind Owes to Motherhood

It was in and through motherhood that one of our kin was elevated to the highest dignity, and endowed with the sublimest sanctity any actual or possible created being is capable of :— at the incarnation of the Son of God.

Through becoming His Mother, Mary at once and forever rose above all the angels and archangels of heaven. Through her divine motherhood she more than repaired the loss inflicted upon mankind by the first woman.

For the paradise Eve deprived us of Mary gave us heaven: a prettier, a more blessed and a more glorious heaven than we should have had, had Eve never seduced Adam to sin.

So much we owe to motherhood. What a grand privilege, then, accrues to every woman who becomes and is a mother after God’s own heart!

Your job is to help them reach this state of full and complete independence in a gradual fashion. And your success as a mother will depend to a great extent upon the amount of emancipation you permit them as they step progressively toward adulthood. Therefore you should try to judge realistically when your children truly need your help and when they do not. -Fr. George Kelly, 1950’s https://amzn.to/2NXlMld

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The Black Sheep – Plain Talks on Marriage

by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 1924, Plain Talks on Marriage

Lifeless Idols

There are parents who in regard to their children are very delinquent in the necessary vigilance. They are like the idols mentioned in the Bible: “They have mouths and speak not; they have eyes and see not; they have ears and hear not; they have noses and smell not; they have hands and feel not; they have feet and walk not” (Ps. 113, 6, 6, 7).

Their children practically do as they please, without let or hindrance of their parents. They go where and with whom they like. They stay out as long as they choose. They read whatever they fancy.

When, then, they become involved in some scandal, say the son or daughter becomes an unwedded father or mother, the parents throw up their hands in horror. They grow terribly indignant, and exclaim that they cannot understand why such a disgrace should ever have befallen their family.

But often they are more guilty than the child. They were mature in years and had the experience of life; had they watched properly and prudently over their children, their going and coming, and had they used kindness and firmness upon them according to their needs, the lapse would likely have been avoided. After it has taken place it is too late to wax indignant.

When the girl is in dire distress, and faces ostracism and disdain on the part of the cold and cruel world, and that from many apparently respectable people who in their private lives may be immensely worse than she has been, it is not the time for her parents to increase her mental tortures by apathy and severity, and thus perhaps to drive her to a worse crime than her first offense, namely to abortion and, possibly, suicide.

But then it is the part of sensible and conscientious parents to take her back to their hearts in warm and generous sympathy, forgiveness and love, and to tender her in her delicate condition every protection and assistance.

The Black Sheep

Of course, if without any recourse to sinful practices the matter can be kept secret, it must be done for the girl’s and the family’s sake. If it cannot be concealed, the girl and the family should bear the consequent disgrace with humble patience and resignation to God’s providence, and in the spirit of compunction and atonement for sin.

There are many worse sins done in public and in private, which the world does not visit with its scorn and excommunication, but which are nevertheless grosser and more damnable in the sight of God.

Whilst the parents are often as much or more at fault than the child that goes wrong, it must yet be admitted that sometimes the best parents, in spite of all their good efforts in the interest of their children’s education, are afflicted with a wayward child that brings shame upon the family and overwhelms the hearts of the parents with bitterness.

This is one of the mysteries of the inscrutable providence of God, which it is given us devotedly to adore, but never to fathom in this life.

Still it is good for all parents to remember that eternal vigilance is the price they are asked to pay for the welfare and felicity of their children.

In addition to this it is consoling for good parents of bad children to reflect that, even as the winter wheat that is covered with snow seems hopelessly dead and gone, but soon comes to view again under the sun’s glow, so, too, a boy or a girl that has grown bad, and appears to be desperately lost to virtue and to God, is of a sudden touched by God’s grace and the warmth of the parents’ love, and rises and thrives again unto goodness and holiness of life.

“I put before you the one great thing to love on earth: the Blessed Sacrament. There you will find romance, glory, honor, fidelity, and the true way of all your loves upon earth.” — John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

Photo: Solemn Mass of Exposition for the Forty Hours’ Devotion on March 12, 2013 at the Oratory of St. Philip Neri in London.

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Family Tidbits – Fr. Fulgence Meyer, 1927

Frederick Brunner – Artist

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 1927

Nature’s Sexual Mysteries

At the age of puberty, when the girls are about thirteen and the boys about fourteen years old, certain physical developments take place in the human organism, with the nature and purposes of which it is wholesome for the children to become acquainted gradually and circumspectly.

It is the part of the father to instruct his sons, and the duty of the mother to instruct her daughters regarding the origin, the meaning and the reproduction of life. It is far better that the children obtain, this valuable and necessary information from wise parents in a decent and sacred manner, than that they get it in a vicious and objectionable way from tainted and corrupt companions.

The Mighty Ballot

Plain Talks on Marriage, Fr. Fulgence Meyer, O.F.M., 1927

Catholics will do their duty especially by contributing their share to procure a good and wise government.

They will take a judicious interest in the political situation in order to be able to cast their votes sanely and efficiently.

They will vote at every state and federal election, and also at every important local election.

All things being equal, they will support their fellow-Catholics in their campaigns for public offices, in order to insure a just proportion of their co-religionists among the civil officials of the land.

While our Church enjoys great freedom in this country, it still has many bitter enemies here whose aim in life is the Church’s destruction. They are doing all in their power to disfranchise the Catholics by depriving them practically of the rights and privileges of American citizens.

They even want to despoil Catholic parents of their natural right to educate their children according to the dictates of their conscience.

These wicked men can succeed in their iniquitous and un-American endeavor only in one way, and that is, if Catholics neglect to use the weapon of defense given them by the constitution of our country.

This weapon is the ballot.

As long as Catholics use the ballot prudently, consistently and universally, no one will ever reduce them to slavery; but once they grow careless in the employment of this powerful weapon, it will be their own fault if they are subjected to an ignoble and tyrannical dominion.

It devolves, therefore, upon our Catholic parents not only to vote themselves in the interest of our right as American citizens – and to vote regularly at every election in order not to get out of the habit and be caught napping – but also to arrange that their children who are of age vote with them. In unity there is strength, especially with reference to the almighty ballot box of a nation like ours.

David and Goliath

The blatant bigotry rampant in various parts of our country may be likened to Goliath, the swaggering giant of the Philistines, flouting the chosen people of God and their religion.

The pebble from the sling of David, that felled the mighty Goliath, is a symbol of the ballot.

If all Catholics cast their vote with a true and sure aim at each election, the giant of intolerance, stalking abroad, will be reduced to impotence and disgrace.

 

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God Has Chosen You!

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, O.F.M., 1927

 

Life is often compared to a stage, upon which we are all given a part to play. God Himself has assigned our individual roles to us.

In calling you to the married state He has allotted to you a distinguished and arduous part on the stage of life. And if you are a parent, your part is immensely more sublime and difficult.

It is by no means easy to play well and creditably the part of a Catholic married person and parent. This requires virtue and ability of the highest order. Whoever in a dramatic play has to represent a difficult character, is glad to have someone instruct him and provide him with helpful cautions, hints and suggestions.

God Has Chosen You

You must above all remember, that God has chosen you for the part you must play on the stage of life; and since He has chosen you for it, He will supply you with the strength you need to acquit yourself of it satisfactorily.

Even if you married frivolously and thoughtlessly, or through mere passion or spite: now that you are bound by the marriage tie, you can be sure that God intended you should be bound thus: and consequently you can count on His help to achieve happiness and holiness in the marriage you have legitimately contracted, and from which you can no longer withdraw.

All regrets as to what else might have been, had you not married as you did, are idle and futile. What matters now is that you make the most of your present situation through good sense and the grace of God.

Do not make things worse by dwelling gloomily and pessimistically on your real or imaginary mistake in marrying as you did, and by thus increasing the evil effects of it: but rather make a virtue out of necessity, and turn your mistake, whatever it was, into a stepping stone to sanctity and everlasting glory.

To those who entered the convent or the priesthood without a vocation from on high, and who realized their mistake after they had bound themselves by the holy vows for life, St. Augustine said: “If you are not called, see to it that you be called.”

Similarly married people who, after they are married a while, find that they made a mistake in marrying at all, will apply the best remedy to their hard situation not by unavailing complaints or morbid self-pity, but by doing what they can to render their actual married life their real vocation.

With the aid of God’s grace many have done this to their great contentment and sanctification. What others have done, you can do too, with the assistance of the same grace.

Spiritually and religiously you may even thrive better for being unfortunately married.

A Vale of Tears

The fact alone that you are not fully happy in your married life, is not by any means a sign that you were not called or destined for it. No one, in the married or any other state of life, is completely happy on this earth.

God did not intend that anyone should be entirely happy. This earth will always be a vale of tears no matter how we arrange it, in marriage, in the single life in the world, in the cloister, in the priesthood, and everywhere else.

We are merely pilgrims or tourists steering towards our eternal home, and the more we are disposed to put up with the discomforts and annoyances of tourists or travelers, the less chagrined shall we be.

Even in paradise there was the forbidden tree and the insidious serpent. No home or family life can therefore be expected to be without some trouble and worry.

All we can do is to achieve a relative eternal happiness here below, as a preparation for an eternal happiness beyond. Marriage offers a good opportunity for the accomplishment of both.

 

 

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An Infallible Recipe – Plain Talks on Marriage

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, O.F.M., 1927

What, then, is the recipe of happiness for a married person? It is contained in the words of my text: “Blessed are all they that fear the Lord.”

This is the recipe given by God Himself. If anyone knows the way to true and lasting happiness, it is the Lord Who created our heart and gave it its vehement and incessant craving for happiness. He condenses the whole manner of achieving happiness in the words I have quoted.

All other recipes of happiness, divergent from this one, no matter by whom they have been or are given, are false and misleading.

There is but one way for a Catholic couple to become thoroughly and permanently happy, and that one way is the fear of the Lord.

How does a Catholic couple practice and manifest the fear of the Lord?

First of all by worshiping God faithfully. They say their prayers every morning and evening. In their home, which is duly blessed, they pray aloud with the family before and after meals; this, too, when guests are present, let them be Catholics or not. Grace at table always makes a good impression on company worth having.

Family Prayer

Outside of their personal prayers, which should by all means include the daily examination of conscience and an act of perfect contrition, Catholic parents will see to it, that the family recite a certain prayer in common, called family prayer.

Not only is each individual member of the family expected to pray, but the family as such should in concert worship God and consecrate itself to Him afresh every day.

Father and Mother and all the children kneel down before the family crucifix and recite together the rosary, or a litany, or some other prayers as a homage of the family towards the Lord.

The best time to perform this prayer will usually be immediately after supper before the family disbands or retires. The prayer need not be long – it should not be so long as to weary and bore the children – but it should be said regularly and constantly by the entire family.

Nothing is more apt to keep the spirit of God and of faith in a family, and to assure it of the Lord’s continual blessing and protection than this family prayer.

And nothing will be more likely to guarantee the perseverance of all the family members in the true Church than this family prayer.

Your children will not remain with you long. Soon they will disperse into various directions. They will be assailed by all kinds of temptations against virtue and religion, and they may for a time grow lukewarm and careless in the practice of their holy faith.

But if in their childhood and youth they were held to take part in the daily family prayer, the remembrance of it, when with father and mother and brothers and sisters they dedicated themselves to God anew from day to day, will haunt them persistently, and give them no rest until they return again to the faith of their fathers and its regular and conscientious practice.

If, therefore, you have not yet introduced family prayer into your home, do it at once. St. Augustine says, that every Christian home is a little parish for itself. The parents are the priests, and the children the members of the parish.

It behooves priests to guide their parishes particularly in prayer; parents have the same office in their homes; and wherever it is well done, it invariably proves to be their most grateful and productive office.

The best time to start this family prayer is at the very beginning of married life.

Our work within the home can be transformed into a powerful prayer. One day of making meals and changing diapers, of reading stories and sweeping floors, when offered up, is worth much to Our Lord. Eventually we will see the merit we have gained doing just the small things….

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Education: When Does It Start?

Keeping in mind that this was written in a different era, it reminds us of the importance of this time of life for the mother and child….

from Plain Talks on Marriage, Rev. Fulgence G. Meyer, 1927

Education: When Does It Start?

Most of you have been blessed by God with offspring. Merely to have children is not a great credit; but to bring them up carefully in the knowledge, love and service of God is a credit.

To affect this abidingly all the good sense, virtue and tact of both father and mother are required.

When is the education of the child to begin?

As soon as it is conceived, or, rather, at the very conception. A child that is conceived whilst both its parents are in proper physical and moral condition starts with a better chance for a good and fruitful life than one at whose conception its parents are not in a condition fit for generation.

The nine months of gestation mean a great deal to the future life of the child. It draws the gradual formation of its body from the mother, on whose actual condition the state of the child’s body very much depends. Between body and soul there is a close interrelation of influence and condition. Consequently the condition of the expectant mother is very material to the child’s fate.

The Effects of Heredity

One must not stress the burden of heredity too far: yet there seems to be ground to believe, that many convicts who are in our prisons and penitentiaries today, women as well as men, would not be there, had their parents been in a more favorable state at their conception and gestation.

The mother, of course, plays the more important role here. She should therefore be attentive to herself in this sacred period of pregnancy. She must avoid every undue agitation and worry of mind, and eschew anything smacking of excessive or passionate indulgence. This has reference not only to drunkenness or lust, but also to violent anger, jealousy, envy, revenge, and to inordinate anxiety, fear, depression, despondency and melancholy.

All these and similar sentiments, when freely pursued, are likely to affect the mind and body of the mother in a sinister manner, and to have a disastrous influence on the child that is forming under her heart. It will behoove both mother and child, if the pregnant mother keeps herself well, easy and happy as much as possible in body and soul, and nurses feelings of the love of God and her neighbor, of trust and confidence in God’s

Sweet providence, and of virtuous resignation to His holy will in all things.

She will foster these feelings by the regular attendance at Holy Mass and by the frequent reception of the Sacraments.

On his part her husband will assist her towards this disposition of body and mind by behaving towards her, in the season of pregnancy, with more than ordinary love, tenderness, devotion, attachment, respect and consideration, which prompt him to anticipate her every want and to meet her most silent desires as much as his circumstances will allow.

Expectant Mothers and Sunday Mass

As to hearing the obligatory Mass on Sundays and holydays, some expectant mothers are exempt or dispensed early in their sacred period because of peculiar personal conditions: with the best will in the world they cannot attend Mass, for fear of nausea or some kindred indisposition.

Others again keep on assisting at Mass until almost immediately before the day of their delivery. In case of doubt as to the obligation, the pastor will gladly give a dispensation, or the confessor a declaration in the matter.

To discontinue going to Mass merely from embarrassment at the appearances and the consequent comment of others is hardly commendable, as a rule. It is certainly no dishonor, but rather an honor and a sign of God’s favor and blessing to be an expectant mother, and something of which a good woman has every reason to be justly proud.

Of course an innate feeling of delicacy will prompt a woman not to parade her condition unnecessarily before the world. For very good reasons God desired that the origin of human life should be veiled by a certain mysteriousness that shrinks from notice and publicity.

As the pregnancy progresses to the fifth and sixth month, the mother must be especially cautious not to exert herself unduly in a physical way. She will avoid heavy lifting, high reaching or jumping, and every other unusual tax on her bodily condition, in order to avoid a miscarriage.

The husband will see to it that his wife is then excused from all manner of work that is likely to jeopardize her health and the life of her blessed charge.

Involuntary Miscarriage

It happens not infrequently that, without any fault at all of the parents, a miscarriage ensues. This is deplorable, of course; but it calls for nothing else than conformity to the holy will of God, Who arranges everything sweetly and wisely.

In case baptism can be administered to the prematurely ejected fetus, it should not be neglected. The mother, taking notice of it, opens the involucrum or sack, and pours water over the contents whilst saying the words: “If you are living, I baptize you in the Name of the Father, aid of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.”

Life may still be there; if so, the baptism will open the gates of heaven to the child’s soul. In case the administration of baptism is out of question, the soul of the child will not go to heaven, it is true; but it will neither go to a place of torments; it will go to what is called the limbo of infants, where it will enjoy natural happiness in a high degree: in a higher degree than is tasted by children or men in general on this earth.

This is an opinion quite commonly held by theologians, and not at all frowned upon by the Church. At all events such a child is immensely better off in being as it is than if it had never been conceived at all: hence its parents who, as we suppose, had no guilt whatever in regard to the miscarriage, have no cause for worry or regret.

“In God We Trust”

When the time for the delivery approaches, the mother will not grow over-anxious, but she will entrust herself unreservedly to the goodness and providence of God. The less timid and nervous she is the more natural and easy will the birth prove to be.

On the other hand she will be prepared against every possible eventuality, both spiritually and materially.

Statistics tell us that the mortality of parturient mothers in the United States is about at the rate of one out of one-hundred and fifty. The proportion is lower than it used to be, thanks to the progress of medicine and surgery; but is still far too high, and we hope it will continue to be reduced until it is at its minimum.

All other things being equal, it is advisable to have a Catholic doctor and a Catholic wife or nurse at the birth. Often baptism must be administered before or during birth; and a Catholic may be counted on for doing this more reliably than a non-Catholic.

The wisdom and training you give to your child will determine the outcome. It is not the time to give in to weariness, indifference, laziness or careless neglect. Their souls are in your hands…. Painting by Tasha Tudor

A Wonderful Book! The Story of Sister Maria Teresa Quevedo. “For Him alone I have lived.” The Story of a Nun. Venerable Maria Teresa Quevedo 1930-1950. Maria Teresa Quevedo was a lively modern girl-a talented dancer, an expert swimmer, an outstanding tennis player, who devoted herself to generous works of sacrifice. Her life can be summed up by her own motto, “May all who look at me see you, O Mary.” Throughout her life, Teresita was an inspiration and a delight to everyone around her as she calmly strove to exemplify Christian virtue in her everyday life. Teresita tried to do everything perfectly. As a girl living with her parents, she was an obedient child. With her friends, she was not only respected but popular. As a sodalist, she gave evidence as being a born leader for Mary. As a tennis player, she was an expert. As captain of her basketball team, she consistently led the group to victory. At any young people’s gathering which she attended, she was the life of the party. When Teresita entered the Congregation of the Carmelite Sisters of Charity, she did so because she desired to become a saint and to devote all her life to Jesus and Mary. But, in her own words, she wished to become a “little saint, for I cannot do big things.” Teresita’s cause for canonization is now under examination in the Sacred Congregation of Rites. “You will find the story of this popular beautiful girl an inspiration. It is a happy biography . . . Don’t miss it.” -Herbert O’H Walker, S.J.  Available here: https://angeluspress.org/products/mary-was-her-life

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A Home For God

Two wonderful articles on the atmosphere of a Catholic Home……

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, O.F.M., 1927

The parents of the family will at once take it upon themselves to give their home the air of a house of God.

In other words, they will supply it with those emblems that ought to have a place in every Catholic home.

Of these emblems the first and foremost is the crucifix of which mention was made before.

Besides it there ought to be other representations of our Lord, his mother, and the Saints, discreetly placed about the home.

Whilst the house needs not to be turned into a holy picture gallery, yet a prudent selection of holy pictures will become a Catholic home. They are indicative of faith, and of a certain gratitude for, and pride in, the faith.

In the meantime they are a continuous reminder of God and his saints, the heroes and heroines of virtue, to the family, and thus provide it with a potent stimulant to piety and goodness.

Every Catholic home should have on hand two candlesticks and two blessed wax candles to be used in cases of sickness for the administration of the sacraments; also a bottle containing holy water; and in every sleeping room there ought to be a small holy water font.

The Holy Bible 

A copy of the holy Bible, of the lives of the Saints, and of some good explanation of Catholic beliefs and practices should be found in every Catholic home. It should moreover keep at least one Catholic magazine together with the Catholic newspaper of the diocese or province.

The parents are not only to make this provision, but they are also the example in the regular and wholesome reading of these books and periodicals, and cultivate a taste for them in themselves and their children, by often and prudently making their contents the subject of the family conversation.

At the same time they will be careful to shut their home to all literature of a dangerous or dubious character, even as they will rigidly prohibit in it profane and other language that is unbecoming in the house of God, namely the little temple over which they have the charge and the responsibility.

 

from True Womanhood – Rev. Bernard O’Reilly, 1894

A holy house is one in which God is truly King; in which He reigns supreme over the minds and hearts of the inmates; in which every word and act honors His name. One feels on entering such a house, nay, even on approaching it, that the very atmosphere within and without is laden with holy and heavenly influences.

Modern authors have written elegantly and eloquently about the home life which was the source of all domestic virtues and all public greatness in the powerful nations of antiquity. They describe, in every household, in the poor man’s cabin as well as in the palace, that altar set apart for family worship, on which the sacred fire was scrupulously watched and kept alive night and day.

No one ever went forth from the house without first kneeling at that altar and paying reverence to the divinity of the place, and no one, on returning, ever saluted his dearest ones before doing homage there.

There, too, at night the household met for prayer and adoration, and there again with the dawn they knelt together to beg on the labors of the day before them the blessing of the deity worshiped by their fathers.

This altar and this undying fire were regarded as a something so holy that only the most precious wood and the purest material was employed to feed the flame. Nothing filthy or defiled was permitted to approach the spot; and every indecent word uttered or act committed near it was deemed a sacrilege.

This hearth-altar, or hearth-fire, as it was called, was symbolical of the fate of the family. If it was neglected and allowed to die out, this was deemed an irreparable calamity foreboding the ruin of the home and the extinction of the race.

In the Christian home it is the flame of piety, ardent love for God, and charity toward the neighbor, which constitutes the hearth-fire that should ever burn bright.

Old Catholic homes, (how many of our readers will remember it?) were wont to have the cross placed outside as a symbol of the love for the Crucified which ruled all hearts within; and in the interior His name, as well as His image could be seen on almost every wall, informing the stranger-guest that He was in the house of the common Parent, and in the midst of dear brethren.

And how many of us may also remember the poor but cleanly cottage of the laborer, or the narrow room of city families, on whose bare but white walls there was no ornament but the crucifix, and no glory but that of the Holy Name written there as a seal of predestination?

Where the fire of divine love is fed as carefully, and the mother and her daughters watch as jealously as the Roman matrons and maidens of old that its flame shall never be extinguished, there is little fear that any conversation but what is “innocent” shall prevail.

Purity and charity are the twin-lights of every home deserving of God’s best blessing and man’s heartfelt veneration.

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“Simplicity of soul is one of the prerequisites of sanctity, and it’s one of the things our children already possess. We must be very careful not to contribute to the great cluttering up. Our obligation as parents is heavy: we must raise children who are in love with God.” -Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children

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No Children? – Plain Talks on Marriage

We know a dear couple who were not able to have children. It was a very big cross for them. While we were enjoying the wonder and beauty of seeing our babies come into the world, this couple remained barren.

They prayed and prayed. One day they decided to adopt a sweet little girl. As the girl grew, she prayed along with her parents for a little brother and sister. Never did they give up and I was amazed at the confidence of this woman!

One day, eleven years later, they found out they were with child! Oh, the rejoicing! They brought this first baby into the world and had 4 others afterwards! What a reward for their patience!

Not all stories end this way but it is a testimony of the Power of Prayer and Perseverance. If God still deems that the couple remain barren, He will provide joy and fulfillment in other ways….

 

 

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 1920’s

Perhaps you have no children, and have never had any. You and your wife are eager to have children, and you would welcome them with warm thanksgiving. But for some reason or other, you say, God is not hearing your fervent prayers in this regard, and your home appears more empty and incomplete from day to day.

Whilst children are a great blessing, the greatest earthly blessing, in fact, which God bestows upon married people, still they are at the same time a great responsibility, and often prove to be a heavy cross.

If God, therefore, deems it best to withhold children from you, thank Him in humble and loving resignation.

Even without children God-loving people can be perfectly satisfied and happy with each other, and they can ward off all loneliness from their home by the practice of charity and piety in an intense degree.

A Grand Charity

Maybe by mutual consent you can adopt a child or two and educate them in the fear of the Lord.

This is a splendid and usually a most grateful act of charity. Adoptive parents often conceive for their adopted children so strong and delightful a love that they could hardly have any greater love for their own children, or derive more gratification out of their rearing.

It is God’s reward for their goodness. I know that sometimes adopted children are ungrateful; but natural or carnal children are ungrateful, too; and it is not easy to say who of the two form the higher percentage in in ingratitude.

At any rate, if you adopt a child from good motives, the result will not affect the merit of your act in the sight of God, nor interfere with its grand reward in eternity.

Jesus says invitingly: “He that shall receive one such little child in My Name, receiveth Me” (Matt., 18, 5).

If you do not know how to go about adopting a child, go to your pastor or some other priest for information and direction.

In the meanwhile keep on praying with confidence for offspring of your own. Some of the greatest saints in history, such as our Blessed Mother Mary, St. John the Baptist, the prophet Samuel of old, and a number of others were the reward of trustful and persevering prayers of their parents who received them when already quite advanced in years.

 

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“A desire to be beautiful is not unwomanly. A woman who is not beautiful cannot properly fill her place. But, mark you, true beauty is not of the face, but of the soul. There is a beauty so deep and lasting that it will shine out of the homeliest face and make it comely. This is the beauty to be first sought and admired. It is a quality of the mind and heart and is manifested in word and deed.” – Beautiful Girlhood, Mabel Hale http://amzn.to/2pOKmtj (afflink) Illustration by http://www.genevievegodboutillustration.com/

 

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