Necessity of a Deep and Settled Principle to Cling Closely to God

This excerpt was originally written for young women having to make their way in the world. It is beautiful, and reminds all of us to keep our eyes and our hearts set on the goal. This will help us to make good decisions and to embrace our crosses along the way…

From GUIDE for CATHOLIC YOUNG WOMEN by Rev. George Deshon, 1863

All the advantage, all the good of a life of labor depends on your being faithful.

Two girls may be in equally good situations, yet one will be contented and happy and growing better every day, while the other will be always complaining and fretting, making herself and everybody else unhappy and getting more and more wicked.

Let us look into it and see the reason of all this difference.

These two girls are acting on very different principles. One looks first at this world in everything. Her mind is taken up with the idea of enjoying all the pleasure she can now. She is all the time studying the ease and comfort of the present moment.

As soon as any desire rises up in her heart she allows herself to be completely carried away by it, and God and religion have to stand in the background.

The other is in the habit of looking away from this world, and looking first at God. The question with her is: Is it right? Is it good for my soul? And not, how do I like it?

She takes a calm and holy pleasure in denying herself what is wrong or not good for her, because she knows that her soul is united more closely to God, her only real good, by so doing.

This is the reason of all the difference in their lives—why one is so happy and good, the other so unhappy and sinful; and this shows the necessity of having a right principle of conduct, a principle good enough, and broad enough, and strong enough to regulate all the actions of our life.

We cannot do better than lay down some such principle. St. Paul had such a ruling principle. He says: “I do not live any longer, but it is Christ that lives in me.” (Gal. ii. 20). He had Christ so firmly seated in his mind, he had it so much at heart to please Him, that he was able to say that he lived no longer for himself, but for Christ.

Here was his fixed principle: He would no longer live for himself, but for Jesus Christ. No doubt he used to say to himself on all occasions: “Remember, Paul, you are no longer to live for yourself, but for Christ ‘‘; and it was by acting on this principle that he arrived at such a high state of perfection.

In the same way, if you want to live a good life, you must take care to have some such principle, which shall have the upper hand in your soul and control your whole conduct.

It is no matter how it is expressed—whether one says, “It is better to lose the whole world than suffer the loss of the soul”; or “My only real happiness consists in serving God”; or “My meat and drink shall be to do the will of God”; or “I will look at God and His will first in all I do” or “All my desire is to please God and save my soul”… all these things mean really the same thing.

They mean only what our Savior meant when He said, “What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his soul,” or “What shall a man give in exchange for his soul.” (St. Mark viii. 36).

We need some such thought to sink deep in our minds, so deep that it may never be forgotten or lost sight of. Oh! My good girl, do not rest satisfied until you can repeat some such sentiment with your whole soul.
When St. Ignatius wanted to get St. Francis Xavier to devote himself to God he did it in this way. He saw St. Francis, at that time a worldly young man, who thought little of his soul, quite frequently, and managed at every interview to repeat the words: “What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world if he lose his own soul.”

By and by they began to have their effect, and St. Francis said to himself: “Indeed, what will it profit me to gain all worldly distinction if I am lost?” He saw things in their true light, devoted himself to God heart and soul, and became a great saint.

So, my dear good girl, you must strive to possess and fill your soul with the grand principle of living for God, of wishing and striving to please and love God more and more. You must, as it were, keep your eyes fixed on this mark, that the sight of it may always afford you strength and courage.

Suppose a beautiful house, on a hill-top, surrounded by pleasant groves and gardens of flowers, could be placed in your sight, with the promise that it should be yours after a term of faithful service.

If you found that service getting tiresome, you would go to your window, look at that beautiful house, your courage would rise, and your labor would again become lightsome and easy.

So have in your mind’s eye the love of the Savior, that great treasure which will make you rich for all eternity, have it always ready to look at, and I will warrant that all the troubles of life, and all the mischances that may happen to you, cannot hinder your soul from rejoicing at the glorious prospects before you.

Would that we could always bear this in mind! But the trouble is, and I may say the only trouble is, that it is so often forgotten ; either lost sight of altogether over time, or seen only so dimly and indistinctly that it appears like a dream and has little or no effect on the mind.

Yes, it is very true; this glorious prospect can always be kept in view if we will, and yet it is often, very often lost from sight.

Now, I do not want you to lose sight of it, if others do. Your whole spiritual life, goodness, and happiness depend upon your not losing sight of it. Therefore, you must, like a prudent person, consider within yourself what means you will take to keep it always in view.

“If you accept a man at face value, is there any hope he will change? He may not, and you need to accept this fact. But in a miraculous way, when you accept him at face value, he is more likely to change. The only hope that a man will change is for you to not try to change him. Others may try to teach him and offer suggestions, but the woman he loves must accept him for the man he is, and look to his better side.” – Helen Andelin

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Mortification means ‘to make dead’. It is the struggle against our evil inclinations in order to subject them to the will, and our will to God. By mortification we establish the right order of all our faculties and prepare ourselves for a higher life. Advent is a time when we should practice mortification (a small Lent). During Advent, we also reflect upon the death of the world. The destruction of this world helps strike holy fear into our hearts and reminds all that man can’t construct a heaven upon earth, but must rather die to the gluttony, lust, pride and anger so prevalent in this world. The better we observe Advent, the more joyous our Christmas will be….

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The Power of Purpose

Wow! this is a powerful post! We do not realize what the power of a purpose can do to change our world!

I hear now and again of the reason that prayer was outlawed in the schools here in the U.S. The story goes that it was because of one woman’s tenacity and sense of purpose…ONE WOMAN….what a shame to use this power for evil!

On the other hand, what great things have been accomplished by a focus and sense of purpose of those whose eyes are on a good goal, a noble ideal! We know of many stories and examples set by the saints and even by lay people in our own time.

As women, wive and mothers, our power of purpose needs to be strong within the home! We need to get up each day, roll up our sleeves and be determined to do what is best for our families! It is exciting and, with that sense of purpose, we can accomplish great things, things we may not see the results of right away, but results that will unfold and carry on as we leave our legacy behind us!

Don’t give in to mediocrity and don’t be lulled into a sense of dullness! We….YOU…can accomplish great things…with a great sense of purpose!

This post is written for girls but is applicable in all walks of life!

Painting by Heide E. Presse

Beautiful Girlhoodby Mabel Hale

The Power of Purpose

Much depends upon the height of the aspirations to which the mind and heart go in girlhood. The dreams of doing or being that which is noble and great, of accomplishing much, are a spur to every girl.

And would you, my dreamers, have your dreams come true? There are three things which in the life of any girl will make her a success. The first two we have already discussed, pure ideals, and noble ambitions, and the third is a strong purpose.

It is almost impossible to estimate the power of purpose in life.

Things thought out of reason have been accomplished  through purpose. Kingdoms have been torn down and built again, heathen customs have been uprooted and the light of Christianity put in their places, men born under the bondage of hard and unfavorable circumstances have risen above their environments and become powers in the world, the mysteries of the earth and sky have been sought out and their power put to work for mankind; yes, every great and noble deed that has ever been done has had for its captain and soldiers men and women of strong purpose.

A purpose in life gives something to live for, something to work for, and something to hope for. If the purpose be for good cause, then the evil that would hinder can be overcome and the good prevail. But without this strong purpose the individual becomes but a creature of circumstance, a chip tossed by the waves of life.

The power of purpose is the power of love. No man can cleave to any purpose with all his heart unless he loves the cause for which he strives. He must so love that cause that to give it up would be like giving up his very life.

I once read of a woman upon a lonely ranch in a foreign land. Her husband had to go away for a week or more, leaving her alone for that time with her little children. He had not been gone long before she was bitten by a poisonous serpent, and she knew that in a few hours, not more than eight, she must die.

She remembered her children, and that if they were to be kept safe she must in the time left her draw enough water and bake enough bread to supply them until their father returned, or he might find his family all dead. So she worked and prayed that day, sick, fainting, almost unconscious; but love set her purpose strong, and she struggled on.

Night came, and her hours were nearly up. She put her babes in bed, and wandered out of sight of the cabin to die, but with a determination to live as long as possible for her children’s sake. And morning found her still alive, still walking, and her system beginning to clear from the poison. She lived to tell the story, a monument to the power of a loving purpose.

Those who have made a success in anything have done so because they set about the task with purpose. All the great machines that lighten the burden of labor in the fields and shops and factories are the result of the steady purpose of their inventors.

No man or woman has become of note in any work or field of research but has worked on with steady purpose when circumstances were discouraging. They loved sincerely the cause for which they labored, and they gave it their attention in spite of all that came to hinder them.

And you, my little friend, can make your life successful if you set to it with the power of purpose. When you know what your chosen field is, where your lifework will be, and what you want your life to accomplish, set to with all your might and fight till the victory comes.

But make your purpose worthy.

It is a shame to waste the power of energy of purpose upon those things that are selfish and of little worth. Undertake great things, things that make one’s life bigger and broader, and that are a blessing to others.

One writer has said that without a strong and noble purpose a person is like a lizard, content to stay in the mud, and strong purpose helps him to rise like the eagle out of the shadows of the valleys up to the sunlight on the mountaintops, and to claim them as his own.

Every life that has been a failure has been so because of the lack of purpose behind it. Success is not always counted by dollars, nor by worldly honors, but in the achievement of noble and unselfish purposes.

It is purpose in life that gives an individual decision and determination. Every one of us must meet hard things. Success does not come down upon us as rain out of heaven. If we are to have success we must draw it ourselves, out of the wells of life. If we are only half in earnest and our purpose is only a desire, then when the sun comes down upon us burning and smothering us, and we feel tired from our efforts, we will give up.

But if our desire becomes a steady purpose to be successful in the thing we have undertaken, then we will not mind the sun and the heat and our weariness, but will work on with our purpose before us. We will keep a strong determination to succeed in what we have undertaken.

Success depends upon your purpose in life. I shall ask you again: What are you living for? What is your purpose in life?

When I last talked with my friend Betty on this subject she folded her hands and laughed as she said, “I just live and have a good time. I really have no thoughts about these things.”

And there are myriads of girls just like her. But sometime she will awaken to her responsibility, for her mother is yet the one whose purpose and decision are the groundwork of success in Betty’s life.

Sometime, all you girls with patient, firm, determined mothers, will waken to see that they were not just trying to hamper your good times by their much overseeing of your affairs, but that they were holding to a wise and loving purpose to see you safely into womanhood.

I think that mothers see the hardest times when the girls set with purpose of heart to have their own way in something foolish and wrong. When two strong purposes come together the battle waxes hot. Do you wonder what sometimes makes mothers sigh? You have the reason right here.

“I will if I can,” is a good-sounding motto and shows a kind spirit; but, “I can if I will, and I will,” is the old fellow who gets things done.

You have heard the little poem about the man who undertook to do a thing that could not be done and did it. You can almost see “the bit of a grin as he waded right in,” and the look of relief and joy when he did it.

Have a purpose and stay with it. Keep on going.

 

Let us make a home that is warm and welcoming, comfortable and freeing – a place where we can express the beauty of our Faith and nurture relationships with people we love. Let us build a home that reflects our personalities and renews our souls. Today, do something special to show your loved ones you care. Put a tablecloth on the table, light a candle, bake a cake, buy some flowers to grace your table….It doesn’t have to be huge…just something to lighten the burdens of the day and to bring a smile to those who cross your threshold.

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The Spirit of Hospitality – Emilie Barnes

The following little story about the Gift of Hospitality struck a chord with me.

Like Emilie Barnes, our life was not an easy one, growing up in the big city of Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Oftentimes we didn’t know how the food was going to be put on the table.

My mom went through a lot in those years, trying to work as a nurse’s aid, manage a household of an unusually large amount of children for those parts and that time (there were 6 of us kids).

Mom as a Nurse’s Aide.

Yet through it all, my mom had an openness and kindness to other people that was an example to all of us.

She never turned down anyone when it came to raiding the refrigerator or making them feel welcome. If someone walked in at mealtime they were invited to sit with us even though the fare may not have been ample.

It was an inspiration to me!

This little anecdote reiterates the value of an Open Heart, Open Home mentality and what an example we can be in this realm for our children.

From Emilie Barnes:Simple Secrets to a Beautiful Home: Creating a Place You and Your Family Will Love

The “parlor” was tiny, just an extra room behind the store. But the tablecloth was spotless, the candles were glowing, the flowers were bright, the tea was fragrant. Most of all, the smile was genuine and welcoming whenever ever my mother invited people to “come on back for a cup of tea.”

How often I heard her say those words when I was growing up. And how little I realized the mark they would make on me.

Those were hard years after my father died, when Mama and I shared three rooms behind her little dress shop.

Mama waited on the customers, did alterations, and worked on the books until late at night. I kept house – planning and shopping for meals, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry – while going to school and learning the dress business as well.

Sometimes I felt like Cinderella – work, work, work. And the little girl in me longed for a Prince Charming to carry me away to his castle. There I would preside over a grand and immaculate household, waited on hand and foot by attentive servants. I would wear gorgeous dresses and entertain kings and queens who marveled at my beauty and my wisdom as they lavished me with gifts.

But in the meantime, of course, I had work to do.

And although I didn’t know it, I was already receiving a gift more precious than any dream castle could be. For unlike Cinderella, I lived with a loving mother who understood the true meaning of sharing and of joy – a mother who brightened people’s lives with her gift of hospitality.

Our customers quickly learned that Mama offered a sympathetic ear as well as elegant clothes and impeccable service. Often they ended up sharing their hurts and problems with her. And then, inevitably, would come the invitation: “Let me make you a cup of tea.”

She would usher our guests back to our main room, which served as a living room by day and a bedroom by night.

Quickly a fresh cloth was slipped on the table, a candle lit, fresh flowers set out if possible, and the teapot heated. If we had them, she would pull out cookies or a loaf of banana bread.

There was never anything fancy, but the gift of her caring warmed many a heart on a cold night.

And Mama didn’t limit her hospitality to just our guests. On rainy days I often came home from school to a hot baked potato, fresh from the oven. Even with her heavy workload, Mama would take the time to make this little Cinderella feel like a queen.

My mother’s willingness to open her life to others – to share her home, her food, and her love – was truly a royal gift.

She passed it along to me, and I have the privilege of passing it on to others. What a joy to be part of the warmth and beauty of hospitality!

 

“Hospitality is so much more than entertaining-so much more than menus and decorating and putting on a show. To me, it means organizing my life in such a way that there’s always room for one more, always an extra place at the table or an extra pillow and blanket, always a welcome for those who need a listening ear. It means setting aside time for planned camaraderie and setting aside lesser priorities for impromptu gatherings.” -Emilie Barnes. Simple Secrets to a Beautiful Home

 

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“Despite My Littleness…” – St. Therese, the Little Flower

Happy Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux!

by Father Jacques Philippe, The Way of Trust and Love – A Retreat Guided by St. Therese of Lisieux

Thérèse wanted to be a saint not out of ambition or vainglory, but in order to love God as much as he can be loved. That is completely in accordance with the Gospel.

She also very much wanted to be useful to the Church, and she felt that the only way she could do that was by aiming for holiness with all her strength.

But … alas, I have always realized, when I compared myself to the saints, that there is between them and me the same difference as exists between a mountain whose summit is lost in the heavens, and the obscure grain of sand trodden underfoot by passers-by.

Thérèse very soon realized that what she wanted was impossible. Despite all her good will and her ardent desires, she was quickly brought face-to-face with her limitations and had the feeling that her desire for holiness was inaccessible, unrealizable. She felt as though there were the same distance between that ideal of holiness and what she could actually do as between a high mountain and a grain of sand.

It should be said that at the time she lived, at the end of the nineteenth century, people still tended to identify the idea of sainthood with the kind of exceptional perfection that involved heroic enterprises, extraordinary graces, etc.

Thérèse felt an insuperable distance between that model and what she was in her everyday life. Her words should be taken very seriously. She was faced with a real difficulty and unquestionably went through a real inner crisis. The temptation in that kind of situation is discouragement: I’ll never get there!

How did Thérèse react? She goes on:

Instead of getting discouraged, I said to myself: “God could not inspire us with desires that were unrealizable, so despite my littleness I can aspire to holiness.”

Here is a very beautiful aspect of Thérèse’s spiritual personality: her great simplicity, her trust in God. If God has put this desire in me—and I’ve had it for years, that’s why I entered Carmel—then it must be realizable. The desire has always been with me. It can’t be an illusion, because God is just in all his ways.

We are looking at one of the paradoxes of Thérèse’s life: on the one hand, great psychological weaknesses and great sufferings; but despite this, on the other hand, always great desires.

Lest we idealize Thérèse, recall what she was like at almost fourteen, before the healing grace that came to her at Christmas 1886.

She was a very intelligent little girl, but she had not followed a normal school life because she could not adapt to the school run by Benedictine sisters to which she had been sent. She was hypersensitive, very dependent on others, and had an enormous need for gratitude.

When she had done some little act of service, such as watering the flowers, and no one thanked her, it was a full-scale drama for her. If by chance she had hurt someone she loved, she cried about it, and then, as she says, “cried for having cried.” “I was so oversensitive that I was unbearable.”

She was “enclosed in a narrow circle that she could not get out of.”

Yet at the same time she had a very deep life of prayer and a true desire for holiness. It took the grace of Christmas 1886 to sort out this tangle, so to speak. I shall say a little about it here, and invite you to read the passage where she describes it.

Briefly, then, after Communion at Midnight Mass, our Lord inspired Thérèse to make an act of courage to overcome her hypersensitivity. The youngest of the Martin girls, she was still treated rather like a child: at Christmas, there were gifts left for her by the fireplace, and so on.

Their father, Mr. Martin, despite his affection for his youngest child, was beginning to be a little tired of all this. The comment escaped him, “This is the last time, luckily!”

Thérèse heard this and it hurt her terribly; she was tempted, as usual, to cry like a child, which would have spoilt the whole family’s Christmas.

She tells how she received a grace at that moment which can be understood as follows. It was as if God made her understand, “That’s it, finished.”

She received a sort of intuition, like a call from the Holy Spirit: “No, Thérèse, that childishness is over, you can’t let yourself go and spoil Christmas for the others!” That is not exactly what the text says, but I think that’s what it means.

So she made an act of courage: she acted as though nothing had happened, looked as joyful and happy as she could, unwrapped her presents with laughter and thanks, and, astonishingly, was cured from that moment on.

She herself says she recovered the strength of mind she had lost at the age of four when her mother died, an event that traumatized her and lay at the root of all her emotional fragility.

After that, she was able to enter Carmel and embark on her wonderful, courageous way of life, undertaking a “giant’s race,” as she puts it.

I am telling you this to help you understand something:

It may happen that God works a deep cure in us through totally insignificant events. Sometimes we are called by God to come out of ourselves, to take several steps forward, to become more adult and free.

We turn round and round inside ourselves, enclosed in our immaturity, complaints, lamentations, and dependencies, until suddenly a day of grace arrives, a gift from God, who nevertheless also calls upon our freedom.

We have a choice to make, for it is at the same time a cure and a conversion: our freedom has to opt for an act of courage.

Making an act of courage even over some very small thing, which is what God is asking of us, can open the gate to in-depth cures, to a new freedom granted us by God.

We all need cures in order to become more adult in the faith, to be courageous in waging the battle that we must wage in the Church today. To be a Christian in this day and age is not easy.

We will receive the courage and strength it requires if we can say yes to what God asks of us.

So let’s put this question to God: “What is the ‘yes’ you are asking me for today? The little act of courage and trust you’re calling me to make today?” What is the little conversion, the door that opens to let in the Holy Spirit? For if we make it, God’s grace will visit us and touch us in the depths of our being.

I am convinced that many of us will receive new strength from God. The door through which this strength enters us is the “yes” we say to our Lord to something he asks of us—something perhaps very small, perhaps rather more important, according as he gives us to understand.

“At a certain moment when going to confession to a Capuchin father, St. Therese came to understand that it was just the opposite: her “defects did not displease God” and her littleness attracted God’s love, just as a father is moved by the weakness of his children and loves them still more as soon as he sees their good will and sincere love.” -Fr. Jacques Philippe,The Way of Trust and Love, http://amzn.to/2fpXVzl Painting by Millie Childers

Happy Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux! Dear Little Flower, pray for us!

Follow this link for instructions on how to make the Sacrifice Beads, invented by St. Therese!

A coloring page for your little people….

A conference by Bishop Fulton Sheen:

Miracles of the Little Flower:

A little reminder of the devotion of Divine Mercy along with the teaching of the little flower on having trust in Our Lord.

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Vanity, Vanity, All is Vanity….. True Womanhood, 1894

Tags

bad marriage, fading beauty, selfishness, vanity

This article is a good reminder that, although we may not have the wealth that is talked about, we still must protect our hearts from the vanity of the world, and anything else that wants to eke its way into our hearts and be a stumbling block to being a gracious, loving and lovely Catholic woman! Put down the romance novels, the secular magazines and turn a deaf ear to the vain and worldly television shows. The devil uses these things to get a foothold into our lives and cause havoc wherever he can. We must fight for what is pure and good and holy….and it starts with our minds and what we are putting into it!

It is also a reminder that we must pray and ask God for guidance when choosing a spouse, as this unfortunate man must not have been taught!

How the selfishness and folly of a fashionable woman can make the most magnificent home intolerable.

From True Womanhood, Rev. Bernard O’Reilly, 1893

We wish the reader to understand the term “fashionable woman” in the odious or objectionable sense in which it is taken by the sound judgment of people of the world.

With “fashions” in so far as they are unobjectionable and mark the changes in dress to which even the best and least worldly persons in society—men as well as women—have to conform, we do not mean to find fault; this would be foreign to our present purpose and serve only to distract the reader unprofitably.

It will be seen by a glance at what we have to say, that our censure addresses itself to an exceptional class of wealthy women, whose number, unhappily, is increasing daily. The home of the wealthiest, we take it, no matter how splendid outwardly or how magnificent and luxurious within, can be at best but splendid misery, where unselfish and devoted love does not preside over the household, provide for the comfort of every person there, and minister to their happiness by the bright cheerfulness without which the most gorgeous furniture has no luster, and the electric warmth of affection, without which courtly manners are but a lifeless show.

Here is a man who has fought a hard battle with fortune, but has won it at last. Like true soldiers on every field, he has not cared during his long struggle for many comforts, —luxury was beyond his reach. But now that fortune lavishes her favors on him, he wishes to enjoy life in a home that shall be, he hopes, a paradise.

Would that many of our most thrifty and fortunate men, though never so upright and honorable, would remember the old pagan superstition about exposing one’s bliss to the eyes of the gods or flaunting one’s prosperity in the sunlight! The “loudest” wealth is never likely to yield unmixed or lasting felicity; this is better secured by quiet tastes, and the repose enjoyed in the shade and with the select few.

But our fortunate man has built and furnished a home so comfortable that only a companion who can be devoted to him is wanting to complete it. He has been attracted by a handsome face and a name without reproach.

Perhaps, on his part, there has been none of that romantic feeling to which the superficial world gives the name of love; but there is in his choice the hearty purpose of finding one who will love him truly, and to whose happiness he wishes to devote his fortune and himself.

She is a woman, young, indeed, and stainless, but selfish and vain; fond of dress, of admiration, of display, and who is anxious to wed a fortune large enough to permit her to gratify all her frivolous tastes.

Her husband had the ambition to succeed in business,—that ambition is now gratified; but he had other and nobler aims which he had to forego in the hard striving after wealth, and which now possess his soul.

He would fain cultivate his mind; he would indulge his taste for such of the fine arts as make home beautiful and home enjoyments more delightful.

In the wife’s family were several persons noted for their culture and scientific attainments; indeed, an accidental acquaintance with one of these had led to a first introduction to the woman whom he had made his bride, and in whom he hoped to find a perfect sympathy for the intellectual aspirations which served to brighten the future before him.

But the literary tastes and scientific pursuits of her relatives had been this woman’s aversion from girlhood; and her husband was not slow in discovering that there was not one particle of intellectualism in her composition.

Her honeymoon, instead of being spent in traveling, was taken up with an unbroken round of receptions and parties. Her powers of endurance, when the ball-room or the theater were concerned, seemed to be unlimited; but, once in her privacy, she seemed never to think that her husband wished to enjoy her companionship, or that she was expected to converse with him, to play or sing for him, or to make a single effort at being his companion for a single hour.

The afternoons were spent in the park, when her equipage had to outshine the richest, and her toilet was made to eclipse the most fashionable. The evenings, for the most part, were consumed in interminable sittings with her French maid, who decked her mistress out with incomparable art for the ball or the theater.

The bridegroom had hoped that this thirst for display and dissipation would be quenched by the unlimited indulgence of the first year of married life, and that after this necessary infliction he should have the quiet of his home and the sweet company of his young wife. Besides, his health could not stand the serious disturbance caused in his regular habits by late hours and this unnatural changing of day into night and night into day.

The second and third years of his matrimonial life found him disappointed, dispirited, and utterly miserable, with the certainty, moreover, of having bound himself for life to a woman who never could be a companion to him, who had neither head nor heart, nothing, in fine, to recommend her but a pretty face, like a painted mask covering an empty skull.

His beautiful home became intolerable to him; and there is no knowing what desperate or downward course the heart-broken man might have pursued, if he had not been asked by one of his wife’s relatives to accompany him on a scientific expedition to our Western territories.

This offer kindled once more his purest ambition; and, after limiting to a very generous amount the monthly expenditure of his young wife, he was glad to escape from his home and to seek knowledge and fame in the field of science.

She, meanwhile, had but one purpose in life, to dress. At the death of a distinguished fellow-citizen she literally spent three whole days and nights visiting the most fashionable warehouses and closeted with the most reputed milliners, to find out what style of hat and what dress she might wear at the funeral, so as to throw the whole of “Vanity Fair” into the shade.

When the springtide of that heartless beauty had passed away, it was already autumn for her. The complexion which was her only charm had been early ruined by the reckless and needless use of cosmetics, much more even than by her feverish life of enjoyment.

No splendor of dress could conceal the fatal decay, and no depth of paint could mask it. And with the consciousness of this premature decline, her fretfulness and peevishness made her intercourse intolerable, unrelieved as its dullness was by a single mental accomplishment, or a solitary conversational grace.

There are showy trees in our American forests whose brilliant flowers attract the eye in spring; but the flowers themselves are of an offensive odor, and they bear no wholesome fruit, while the wood itself is unfit for any useful purpose.

The husband, on his return from the West, sought relief from the dreariness of his home-life in the speculations of the stock-exchange, heeding little, if at all, the remonstrances of a wife he heartily despised.

When last heard of, his name was mentioned as one of many ruined by some sudden fall in railroad stocks. His house and furniture passed out of his possession, and he was left alone with poverty, obscurity, and a wife without head or heart or even beauty.

“I have seen on earth angelic and heavenly manners, admirable beauties in this world, insomuch that the remembrance charms and afflicts me; for all that I now behold seem but dreams, shadows, and smoke. Love, wisdom, merit, sensibility, and grief, formed, in weeping, a sweeter concert than any other ever heard on earth, and the hearers were so attentive to this harmony, that not a leaf trembled on the branches, such was the sweetness which pervaded all the air around.— Henelm Digby, 1848

“It is strange and amazing that those very women who are so delicate that the mere humming of a bee is sufficient to chase them from the most delightful garden of the world, should have the courage to introduce discord into their houses.”— La Moin, La Devotion Aisee.

“The first duty of the wife is to study to be in every way she can the companion, the help, and the friend of her husband. Indeed on her capacity to be all this, and her earnest fulfillment of this threefold function depends all the happiness of both their lives, as well as the well-being of the whole family.” -Fr. Bernard O’Reilly, The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893

Intricate and Classy Hand-Crafted Kanzashi Accessory Flowers. Hair, Scarf, Shirt etc…. These fetching ribbon flowers are a perfect accent to any special outfit and provides a sweet final touch! I like to wear these flowers in my hair, but they can be worn many ways!
Each petal takes undivided attention! First, it is cut and shaped, then burnt to ensure there will be no fraying. The petals are then folded and glued into a flower design and the finishing touches are then added.
The back of the flower has a clip that easily opens and holds firmly.
Ribbon flowers are an excellent alternative to real flowers and will look fresh and beautiful forever!

Available here.

Hands Free Mama is the digital society’s answer to finding balance in a media-saturated, perfection-obsessed world. It doesn’t mean giving up all technology forever. It doesn’t mean forgoing our jobs and responsibilities. What it does mean is seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. It means looking our loved ones in the eye and giving them the gift of our undivided attention, living a present, authentic, and intentional life despite a world full of distractions.

With his facile pen and from the wealth of his nation-wide experience, the well-known author treats anything and everything that might be included under the heading of home education: the pre-marriage training of prospective parents, the problems of the pre-school days down through the years of adolescence. No topic is neglected. “What is most praiseworthy is Fr. Lord’s insistence throughout that no educational agency can supplant the work that must be done by parents.” – Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M. https://amzn.to/2T06u28 (afflink)

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

“The Power of a Woman”

by Paul Edwards, 1952, Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur

“The Power of a Woman”

A modern philosopher a few years ago made this statement: “There is nothing in an age that so sharply mirrors its philosophy as the lives of its women.”

By that standard, how does our age measure up? Do the lives of its women mirror a way of life of which we can be proud?

There comes before our eyes a picture of Jesus as a young man thirty years of age. He has left His Mother in Nazareth, and has set out on His work of teaching the people. One day He returns to His native village and enters the synagogue to teach His fellow-townsmen His doctrine and give them the good news of salvation. After He speaks to them they refuse to accept Him, and finally He warns them that they are in danger of losing the special graces God is offering to them.

In sudden rage they rise up and drive Him from the building and up the hill to the cliff. They would cast Him off. He was worthy of death.

The news soon reaches Mary. She rises quickly and rushes into the street to follow the mad crowd, thus putting her own life in danger. If her Son is to die, she is willing to die with Him.

But then events take a new turn. There is a confusion in the crowd. The shouting subsides, and soon a thwarted mob slinks down the hill. Mary steps aside and watches them pass. She realizes now that Jesus has miraculously disappeared.

Today there is a chapel on that hill to commemorate this sorrowful moment in Mary’s life. It is called the Chapel of Mary weeping.

Is the modern attitude toward women tantamount to a rejection of Christ? Would Mary have cause to weep for the women of our age?

Catholic Women to the Fore

The world is filled with crime and sin. In the press, the theater, in books, on the radio and television, the noble ideals of womanhood are being attacked. In such a world which is flaunting morality, Catholic women must defend the standards of Christ and Mary.

Catholic women must reject sinful fashions aimed at arousing the lower passions of men: they must live so as to inspire men to look on woman-hood with pure eyes; Catholic women must rebuild the ideals of marriage. By and large, women will set the moral standards of society.

Catholic women, if they are to fulfill their mission, must dare to be different.

It is up to Catholic women to take the lead in restoring family life and society. If they are to be successful, they cannot be content to go along with the modern tide of paganism.

To get back to Christian standards, requires strong Catholic womanly ideals, a spirit of virtue and self-sacrifice; the spirit spoken of in Solomon’s remark over two thousand years ago: “Who shall find a valiant woman? Her value extends far and wide to the end of the earth.”

We would have a much wider living of the Catholic ideals if every Catholic woman would only realize her tremendous influence for good or evil, out of all proportion to her seemingly small place in the world.

There is more truth than we might suspect in the old proverb: “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

In the Catholic pattern, women hold a lofty and important spot, and a place with far-reaching responsibilities. A woman need not be in the public eye, in politics or in business to influence the world. “Not in the branches of a tree but in its roots do force and power reside,” wrote one woman very much aware of the potentialities of womanhood.

Woman is a powerful influence in the roots of society. When those roots become strong, pure and healthy, then society will manifest a new life.

It was the Holy Father himself who reminded the world: “Every woman has then, mark it well, the obligation in conscience . . . to go into action in a manner and way suitable to each, so as to hold back those currents which threaten the home, so as to oppose those doctrines which undermine its foundations, so as to prepare, organize and achieve its restoration.”

The formula is simple. Mary, a humble girl, living, in an obscure town left a lasting imprint on womanhood, on family life and on the world.

Today the life of a Catholic woman will have a similar effect on the world IN SO FAR AS HER LIFE IS A REFLECTION OF MARY’S. That briefly ought to be the ideal of every Catholic woman.

~ The friend is one to whom we go for sympathy, encouragement, helpful advice, and inspiration; he is one with whom we can share joy and sorrow; he is, in fine, another self. ~ Friendship should have a positive influence for moral good. The appreciation of the worthiness of the friend should inspire one to a similar worthiness. It lifts up; it brings both nearer to God; it is a union in Christ. -Fr. Gerald Kelly, 1950’s, Painting by Andrew Loomis

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Women historically have been denigrated as lower than men or viewed as privileged. Dr. Alice von Hildebrand characterizes the difference between such views as based on whether man’s vision is secularistic or steeped in the supernatural. She shows that feminism’s attempts to gain equality with men by imitation of men is unnatural, foolish, destructive, and self-defeating. The Blessed Mother’s role in the Incarnation points to the true privilege of being a woman. Both virginity and maternity meet in Mary who exhibits the feminine gifts of purity, receptivity to God’s word, and life-giving nurturance at their highest.

You’ll learn how to grow in wisdom and in love as you encounter the unglamorous, everyday problems that threaten all marriages. As the author says: If someone were to give me many short bits of wool, most likely I would throw them away. A carpet weaver thinks differently. He knows the marvels we can achieve by using small things artfully and lovingly. Like the carpet weaver, the good wife must be an artist of love. She must remember her mission and never waste the little deeds that fill her day the precious bits of wool she s been given to weave the majestic tapestry of married love.

This remarkable book will show you how to start weaving love into the tapestry of your marriage today, as it leads you more deeply into the joys of love.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Self-Reliance & Reverence – The Catholic Teacher’s Companion

This book was written at the turn of the 20th century for Catholic teaching nuns. It is called The Catholic Teacher’s Companion  – A book of Inspiration and Self-Help by Rev. Felix M. Kirsch, O.M.C. (1924). The lessons between the covers are valuable for parents, educators and all who work with children.

SELF-RELIANCE

The children of today must be trained to stand on their own feet. The temptations of the present age are so numerous, and the moral support that the young people receive from their environment is all too often practically nil so that the pupils must upon leaving school he fortified to stand four-square to all the winds that blow.

Here again the teacher’s personality is an important factor. If her life and conduct are governed by the teachings of Christ, if she acts on principle and is not subject to the whims of the moment, she may hope to make true Catholic men and women of her boys and girls.

Our age needs boys and girls who have back-bone enough to lead Catholic lives amid frightful temptations, who are trained to practice virtue and shun vice even if the watchful eye of the teacher, priest, or parent is not observing them. But they cannot be trained to such independence of conscience if the teachers will not give their pupils more liberty as they grow up to the beginning of manhood and womanhood.

Put your pupils therefore on their honor; give them motives other than working for good marks and gold medals; let them obey and be industrious at their books because they will thus serve their own best interests.

Teach them the principles of manhood, and give them opportunities to translate these principles into their daily lives. In the higher grades of the elementary school and throughout the high school the teacher has many opportunities for allowing her pupils scope for the exercise of self-reliance. But even in the primary grades she should be on the alert to train the pupils to be self-active.

When assigning tasks, she should afford opportunities for the pupils’ initiative; for instance, when giving themes for compositions, or when controlling the reading of authors. She may also train the pupils to self-reliance by encouraging them to make collections of stamps, plants, insects, bugs, butterflies, etc.

Another means for training them to be self-reliant is to encourage them to tutor some of the weaker pupils of the class. By placing mite boxes for the missions or by starting a school savings bank, she will encourage her pupils to make sacrifices of their own accord, and to deny themselves the enjoyment of sweets or the use of tobacco.

It goes without saying that the campus and the playground offer untold possibilities for the development of self-reliance, and the teacher should make her influence felt in this direction also.

The charge is sometimes made that boys brought up in orphan asylums fail as soon as they are given the liberties of the world. The boys will undoubtedly fail if they have not been trained to use the liberties aright.

Though guarded scrupulously against all that might prove a temptation, they are not prepared for the battle that is unavoidable in the world at large, and hence in their later lives are at the mercy of the snares that beset their path on every side.

The boys and girls attending our schools are exposed to dangers enough, but what must be insisted upon is that they be trained in self-help for the greater struggle that is certain to be theirs.

Let them be taught the practice of living in the presence of God. Let their minds be impressed with the idea that we all are soldiers, that life is a warfare, where each must face for himself the eternal enemy of our souls and his accomplices among wicked men and in our own lower nature.

Men keep sacred the memory of those teachers of their boyhood days who appealed to them to be little men, little soldiers against the devil and his wily temptations. Act in this way with your pupils, and in their adult lives they may be bruised and scarred in many a battle, but they will bless the memory of their teachers for training them to stand to their guns.

It might be mentioned in this connection that the teacher should not neglect to train her pupils’ sense of honor. She will do this most effectively by giving praise and blame in just proportion. She must use praise and blame more frequently with very young pupils, as they are not capable of judging themselves, and have no standard other than the teacher’s word for evaluating their work or conduct. But the more mature pupil must be habituated to perform his tasks out of a sense of duty.

While a judicious admixture of praise and blame will probably produce the best results, we feel safe in saying that praise is, on the whole, more effective than blame.

REVERENCE

Educators are complaining quite generally about the decay of reverence among young people. There is therefore need for training our pupils to practice reverence. They should learn to reverence their fellow-men, who are made after the image of God, and are prospective citizens of heaven.

They should be taught to reverence themselves as being temples of the Holy Ghost. They owe special reverence to their father and mother; to their teachers, who are their foster-parents; and to their priests, who are their fathers in God.

The reverence that our pupils owe to their superiors is grounded on the principle that human authority takes the place of God among men.

Special laws were passed in ancient Sparta to enforce the reverence due to the aged. When an aged man entered the room, a youth who might happen to be present had to give up his seat to him, and was not permitted to speak except when asked.

At Athens an old man came into the theater after all places had been taken, yet none of his fellow-citizens offered him a seat. But when he approached the Spartan ambassadors, they all arose to offer him a seat in the most honored place.

The Athenians applauded the respect of the Spartans, but one in the audience remarked truly enough: “Though the Athenians know what is right, they fail to practice it.”

Reverence, like all other virtues, must be taught by doctrine, practice, and example. Teachers should inculcate reverence by practicing it toward their pupils.

A Latin proverb tells us, Maxima debetur puero reverentia, “We owe very great reverence to the child.”

Every teacher must therefore in her own conduct be a model of politeness and refinement. She must, indeed, demand respect for herself, but if the precept is reinforced by her own refined demeanor and due reverence for all, she will undoubtedly receive universal respect.

She must, therefore, be courteous when asking pupils for service, and must not neglect to acknowledge their kindness. Thus she will prepare the way for insisting that the pupils, too, should be courteous to one another.

This will require special efforts in the case of boys as it is not ignorance or that is generally responsible for their bad manners, but merely the dread of being considered a “sissy” by the “other fellows.”

Punctuality exacts self-discipline and detachment; it often asks us to interrupt some interesting, pleasant work in order to give ourselves to another kind, perhaps less attractive or less important.
However, it would be a great mistake to esteem our duties and to dedicate ourselves to them according to the attraction we have for them or according to their more or less apparent importance.
All is important and beautiful when it is the expression of the will of God, and the soul who wishes to live in this hole he will every minute of the day, will never omit the slightest act prescribed by its rule of life. -Divine Intimacy

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Dear Catholic Wives, The following pages are for you…to inspire you in your daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife. As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire. As we learn in Finer Femininity, we, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it after it is broken. The principles laid out in this maglet will work if we work them. It is all about self-sacrifice, submission, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc. The world around us teaches the opposite and it is so easy for us to slip into this mindset. Let us use Our Lady as our model and learn the virtues of true womanhood.

Catholic Young Lady’s Maglet:
This Maglet (magazine/booklet) is for you…dear young (and not-so-young), Catholic, Feminine Soul. It is a compilation of traditional, valuable Catholic articles on the subjects that touch the hearts of serious-minded Catholic young ladies. There are articles on courtship, purity, singleness, vocation, prayer, confession, friends, tea parties, obedience, etc. This information is solid, written by orthodox Catholic writers (most of them gone to their eternal home) that cared about the proper formation of a young Catholic adult in a confused world. Take this information to heart and your journey through adulthood will be filled with many blessings! It is 40 pages, packed with information. See photo for Table of Contents.
My Disclaimer: This book is, in general, appropriate for ages 14 and up.

Available here.

Women historically have been denigrated as lower than men or viewed as privileged. Dr. Alice von Hildebrand characterizes the difference between such views as based on whether man’s vision is secularistic or steeped in the supernatural. She shows that feminism’s attempts to gain equality with men by imitation of men is unnatural, foolish, destructive, and self-defeating. The Blessed Mother’s role in the Incarnation points to the true privilege of being a woman. Both virginity and maternity meet in Mary who exhibits the feminine gifts of purity, receptivity to God’s word, and life-giving nurturance at their highest.

You’ll learn how to grow in wisdom and in love as you encounter the unglamorous, everyday problems that threaten all marriages. As the author says: If someone were to give me many short bits of wool, most likely I would throw them away. A carpet weaver thinks differently. He knows the marvels we can achieve by using small things artfully and lovingly. Like the carpet weaver, the good wife must be an artist of love. She must remember her mission and never waste the little deeds that fill her day the precious bits of wool she s been given to weave the majestic tapestry of married love.

This remarkable book will show you how to start weaving love into the tapestry of your marriage today, as it leads you more deeply into the joys of love.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Sincerity is Not Always the Easiest Path – Beautiful Girlhood

“And this I pray… that ye may be sincere and without offense.”*

Beautiful Girlhoodby Mabel Hale

To be sincere is to be in reality what one appears to be: not feigned; not assumed; genuine, real, and true. How much value we all place upon sincerity! What a low estimate we place upon the friendship of a person who proves not to be sincere, who, when to her advantage, snubs and ignores us.

How we despise the actions of one who is lavish with expressions of love and kindness to our face, but who backbites us in our absence! We care nothing for her friendship, and her very expressions of affection are obnoxious. Is it not true that we expect and demand sincerity of our friends?

To be sincere is to be honest; honest with self and honest with others. Honesty costs something. To be truly honest is not always the easiest path. It is an easy matter to deceive ourselves and to make ourselves believe we are doing right, when down in our hearts we know we are doing wrong.

A man might give to a good cause and make himself believe he is doing right, when deep in his heart he must know he gives to gain praise of the people. A girl might make herself think she is studying because she is bent over a book, when she knows her thoughts are all upon the party to which she is going. A boy may make himself think he is smart and manly because he smokes, when deep down in his heart he knows he is being both disobedient and deceitful.

There are indeed many ways one may deceive himself. Sometimes men have given liberally to a good cause, hoping that their good deed would even up an act of dishonesty. Many a church or hospital or school has been endowed because the giver thought his doing so would smother his feelings of regret or soothe the fretting of a wounded conscience. Temptation to such insincerity has come to us in little things or greater, but the sincere heart will not yield.

To be honest with self means to look things over with an unfeigned heart and to do right because it is right. When we do good that we might appear right in spite of deception in the heart, we deceive ourselves. If we are trying this, our true selves will come out when we least expect it. Perhaps more people deceive themselves than are ever deceived by others. It pays to be honest with ourselves all the time.

It is just as necessary to be honest toward others in every act. It was a bitterly cold morning and Betty buttoned her coat up close to her throat as she knew her mother wished her to do.

But it was not because of the cold that she obeyed her mother so carefully about her coat. That morning she had put on a blouse which her mother had asked her not to wear to school and the buttoned coat hid it from her mother’s eyes.

Betty was both disobedient and dishonest. We sometimes think that honesty pertains only to money matters. It is true that we should always be honest to the last penny in all business dealings, but honesty also touches every other department of life.

To copy or to take advantage in any other way at school in order to gain a grade is just as dishonest in its nature as to steal, or to forge a note.

The principle is the same, the difference being only in the magnitude of the deed. To take advantage of the teacher’s back being turned to play pranks is also dishonest. To pretend friendship which one does not feel, to smile and approve to the face and laugh to the back, to be two-faced in anything, is mean and dishonest.

Honesty or dishonesty is shown in every little act of life. It is the honest boy or girl who makes the honest citizen. They are the ones whose lives and influence amount to real good in the world’s work.

To be sincere is to be hearty; that is, to enter into all we do with all our might. She who is sincere will give the best of herself to whatever work she undertakes. Even the humblest tasks become noble if they are performed heartily.

It is a pleasure to watch a girl wash dishes or sweep a floor if she does it with a hearty good will. As for practicing music or studying a lesson, more will be accomplished in half the time if the work is undertaken heartily. The girl who does her work that way is a bit of sunshine in the home. God bless her! She is a comfort and joy.

The sincere girl always makes a satisfactory worker wherever she is put. She does her work with a reasonable degree of rapidity and with a will as if she enjoyed it. Whether she works in an office, in the schoolroom, in the factory, or in the kitchen, whether her work brings her good pay, or whether she is a busy home toiler who gets only her board and clothes, if she is sincere and willing she will be a success. Her eye is not on the clock to see if her time is about up, but her whole attention is upon what she is doing.

Sincere people are hearty in their friendships. Did you ever put your hand into the hand of a friend and have her grasp it with a hearty good will, and look you in the face with a friendly greeting? Did it not do you good? It does others just as much good if you greet them heartily.

Again, I have offered my hand to women who gave me the tips of their fingers in a delicate, afraid-of-you manner that chilled all my ardor. I did not like it, and others will not like it if you meet them that way. The handshake is quite an index to people’s hearts. Those who are hearty and sincere are not afraid to let you know it.

To be sincere is to be unfeigned—no pretension, no putting on. The girl who is sincere means every word she says when she is expressing love and friendship. I need not fear that she is only trying to make an impression on me, nor that she is getting my confidence only to ridicule me later. She is no turncoat and no traitor. It seems to me a girl can have no greater fault than feigning friendship and affection she does not feel. Those who are sincere are real. They are real friends, real students, real sisters, real Christians.

To be sincere is to be frank. Frankness helps a girl to speak right out from the heart what she thinks and feels. But there is a very unpleasant trait that sometimes passes as frankness. That is a disposition to say cutting things. There are many things that are better left unsaid. Even though circumstances have given ample room for severe criticism, it is better to keep the bitter word unsaid, and to speak kindly.

Frankness does not mean that we shall tell people what we think of them and their doings on all occasions. True frankness shows in clear, honest eyes and in a gaze of purity and truth, which brings confidence to all who see it. It will speak out of the eyes when the lips are silent. She who is frank keeps nothing back that changes the meaning of what she says.

Beautiful girlhood can hold no more attractive nor lovable trait than sincerity. When a girl can look with honest eyes and perfect sincerity into life, and can meet the temptations that are sure to come with a heart sincerely set to do God’s will, that girl will succeed. Her life will be a blessing to many. Old and young will be encouraged and strengthened by her presence and friendship.

 

“There are those who say that modesty is simply determined by what the culture says it is. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to take modesty advice from our present culture of death! We currently do not live in a sane world, so we cannot use our present culture as a guidepost. We must instead turn to the Wisdom of the Ages, which gives us the particulars of clothing and adornment that is dignified and modest.” – Colleen Hammond, Dressing With Dignity

Lovely Kanzashi flowers for your hair, collar, purse, etc.

These fetching ribbon flowers are a perfect accent to any special outfit and provides a sweet final touch! I like to wear these flowers in my hair, but they can be worn many ways!
Each petal takes undivided attention! First, it is cut and shaped, then burnt to ensure there will be no fraying. The petals are then folded and glued into a flower design and the finishing touches are then added.
The back of the flower has a clip that easily opens and holds firmly.
Ribbon flowers are an excellent alternative to real flowers and will look fresh and beautiful forever! 

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SaveThe pages in this maglet (magazine/booklet) is for the Catholic wife…to inspire her in the daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife. As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire.We, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it AFTER it is broken.It is all about self-sacrifice, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.The articles in this maglet reflect these virtues and will serve to inspire and encourage. It is a Catholic maglet, based on solid Catholic principles.The pages in this maglet (magazine/booklet) is for the Catholic wife…to inspire her in the daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife. As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire.We, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it AFTER it is broken.It is all about self-sacrifice, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.The articles in this maglet reflect these virtues and will serve to inspire and encourage. It is a Catholic maglet, based on solid Catholic principles.The pages in this maglet (magazine/booklet) is for the Catholic wife…to inspire her in the daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife. As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire.We, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it AFTER it is broken.It is all about self-sacrifice, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.The articles in this maglet reflect these virtues and will serve to inspire and encourage. It is a Catholic maglet, based on solid Catholic principles.

The pages in this maglet (magazine/booklet) is for the Catholic wife…to inspire her in the daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife. As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire.We, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it AFTER it is broken.It is all about self-sacrifice, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.The articles in this maglet reflect these virtues and will serve to inspire and encourage. It is a Catholic maglet, based on solid Catholic principles.

This Maglet (magazine/booklet) is for you…dear young (and not-so-young), Catholic, Feminine Soul. It is a compilation of traditional, valuable Catholic articles on the subjects that touch the hearts of serious-minded Catholic young ladies. There are articles on courtship, purity, singleness, vocation, prayer, confession, friends, tea parties, obedience, etc. This information is solid, written by orthodox Catholic writers (most of them gone to their eternal home) that cared about the proper formation of a young Catholic adult in a confused world. Take this information to heart and your journey through adulthood will be filled with many blessings! It is 40 pages, packed with information. My Disclaimer: This book is, in general, appropriate for ages 14 and up. There are some articles on purity in courtship, etc. These do not go into graphic detail but you are the only ones to decide if it is good timing. I would let my own 14 year old read it. If she came up with questions, good. I would answer them. Ignorance is not innocence.

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St. Margaret, Queen of Scotland – True and Noble Woman

How Saint Margaret, Queen of Scotland, made her home lovely and her kingdom a paradise – how every true woman can imitate Margaret, and make her little home-kingdom sweet and attractive.

From True Womanhood, Rev. Bernard O’Reilly, 1893

Malcolm (IV.), King of Scotland . . . shone like a star in the heavens; for, being prevented [supplied beforehand] by God in the benediction of sweetness from his tender years, he had a fervent love for God, and was of such pure conscience and gentleness of manners, that when amongst persons of the world he seemed like a monk, and, indeed, an earthly angel.

This Malcolm was the grandson of St. David, and the great-grandson of St. Margaret, the blessed scion of a line of heroic kings. Let us see how the gentle Margaret transformed, by the irresistible ascendancy of her womanly virtues, her rude, worldly-minded, and warlike husband into a saint, and all Scotland into a school of gentleness and piety. Her example will teach most eloquently how every true-hearted woman can make all hearts yield to the influence of her goodness, and her own life be like a reservoir of living waters in a thirsty land for many a generation after her day.

Margaret, born in exile, reared in Buda in Hungary beneath the eyes of its apostolic king, St. Stephen (997-1038), returned to England in her early girlhood only to become an orphan, and to have to fly for dear life with her sister and brother across the seas.

A storm providentially cast them on the shore of Scotland, where they found a refuge in the court of Malcolm III., or Malcolm Canmore (Greathead). Malcolm had himself tasted the bitterness of exile, having seven years before been obliged to fly to England after the murder of his father by Macbeth.

St. Edward the Confessor, Margaret’s grand-uncle, had warmly befriended the fugitive and enabled him to recover his own. So the generous Malcolm was but too happy to repay to the helpless descendants of Alfred the Great the debt of gratitude thus contracted.

Margaret was then in her twenty-fourth year, and had been during their long orphanhood a second mother to her sister, Christina, and her brother, the chivalrous Edgar Atheling. Her wonderful beauty and her angelic modesty, much more than her royal birth and the accomplishments due to the careful education she had received, drew on her the admiration of the untutored Scottish nobles and their warlike king. He was attracted by the manifold graces of the royal maiden; for hers were the supernatural virtues which he had learned to worship in Edward the Confessor, and which shone with a softened and gentler charm in the lovely exile.

She became, a few months after her arrival in the court of Dunfermline, its mistress and the queen of all Scotland, to the unbounded delight of every class in the community.

It was a rude age, in a country which a long series of invasions by the Northmen, frequent wars with England, and perpetual feuds between the native clans, had kept half-uncivilized in spite of its Christianity.

Providence had reserved for a woman, for this young queen, whose soul had been so chastened and tempered by a whole life of trial, to complete the work begun by St. Columba and his brethren five centuries before that.

Let a woman’s hand trace the first outlines of the glorious picture of piety, charity, and patriotism offered in this queenly life of twenty-three years on the throne.

“Margaret was a true daughter of Alfred, and the traditions of the Alfred of Hungary (St. Stephen) were fresh upon her, and, instead of sitting down to cower alarmed amid the turmoils round her, she set herself to conquer the evils in her own feminine way, by the performance of her queenly duties.

She was happy in her husband: Malcolm revered her saintly purity even more than he loved her sweet, sunny, cheerful manner, or admired her surpassing loveliness of person. “He looked on her as something too precious and tender for his wild, rugged court, and attended to her slightest bidding with reverence, kissing her holy books, which he could not read, and interpreting her Saxon-spoken advice to his rude Celts.”

She even made him help her to wash the feet of the poor, and aid her in disgusting offices to the diseased, and his royal treasury was open to her to take all that she desired for alms.

Sometimes she would pretend to take it by stealth, and Malcolm would catch her by her wrists and carry her to her confessor to ask if she was not a little thief who deserved to be well punished. In his turn he would steal away her books, and bring them back after a time gilt and adorned with beautiful illuminations.

We have not, in order to form an estimate of the incredible amount of good done by this extraordinary woman, to depend upon legends or disjointed historical fragments. Her confessor himself, a monk of Durham called Theodoric or Thierry, composed a history of this most admirable and most imitable life.

The Scottish chieftains who were least inclined to reform their lives or refine their manners in emulation of Malcolm Canmore, could not resist the influence which drew them to Dunfermline, were it only to enjoy the privilege of looking upon a beauty which appeared to them unearthly, of being addressed by their royal mistress with a grace that borrowed more of its charm from piety than from courtesy, and of bearing with them to their homes some trifling present, which borrowed infinite value in their eyes from the angelic goodness of the giver.” – Charlotte Mary Yonge, “Cameos from English History,” vol. i., p. 98.

She effected in the thoughts, the sentiments, the manners, and the morals of these hitherto untamed and unruly nobles, not a little of the same change which had taken place in the mind and heart and conduct of the king; and thus the blessed influence of her virtue and gentleness spread from above downward, through every class, till the lowliest peasants and the remotest Highland glens were made to feel the refining and elevating effects of Margaret’s rule and motherly solicitude.

The court of Malcolm—from the boisterous meeting-place of turbulent and intemperate warriors that it had been for centuries—became the image of the court of Buda, where St. Stephen made Grecian culture and Magyar magnificence to reign side by side, blended and sanctified by the cross.

Not one of them (her nobles) ventured to use a profane word or make an unseemly jest before her. They had a rude, ungodly practice of starting away from table without waiting for grace, and this the gentle queen reformed by sending, as an especial gift from herself, a cup of wine to all who remained.

In after times, the last cup was called, after her, St. Margaret’s cup, or the grace-cup.

To improve the manners of the ladies, she gathered round her a number of young girls, whom she brought up under her own eye, and she used to sit in the midst of them, embroidering rich vestments for the service of the Church, and permitting cheerful talk with the nobles whom she admitted, all men of whose character she had a good opinion.

From these young ladies she exacted that their homes should, in turn, become so many centers of zeal for the good of others; and thus every home in Scotland was benefited by the examples and teachings of the queen.

But above all her other qualities shone her tender love for the poor and the sick. She founded hospitals and asylums for them; and among her nobles, her most especial friends and favorites were such as distinguished themselves by their active charities.

Fully aware that true religion is the parent and nurse of that great chief virtue, she bent herself, from the first year of her reign, to the task of making it flourish wherever the misfortunes of the times had caused it to languish, and to plant it by serious missionary labors wherever the missionaries had not penetrated or had only had an imperfect success.

She caused councils to be convened, encouraged the bishops and abbots to enact the most salutary decrees, supporting them with the whole force of the royal authority; obtained the erection of new episcopal sees, did away with every abuse condemned by the Supreme Pontiff, insisted on cordial and unqualified submission to his teaching; repaired churches and monasteries in decay, and built new ones in every place where they were most needed or promised to be most useful, and, above all, spared no effort and no expense to give to Scotland a thoroughly educated, exemplary, and devoted clergy.

While thus proving herself to be a true mother to her adopted people, she was not unmindful of her English origin or of the sufferings and needs of her countrymen. The wars between the two kingdoms which she was powerless to prevent, left many English captives in Scottish prisons. But her generosity and her influence found means to alleviate their condition and to hasten their ransom.

She founded a hospital for sick and infirm prisoners, where they were tenderly cared for till they obtained their freedom; and for this purpose, she spared not her own purse, nor warm appeals to the generosity of the Scottish captors and the affection of the prisoners’ English relatives.

Thus the veneration and love felt for Margaret in Scotland spread beyond its borders to every part of England; and from the nearest counties emigrants flocked across the boundary to settle in the Lowlands, and enjoy there the security and other manifold blessings bestowed on their subjects by Malcolm Canmore and his angelic queen.

There are other inestimable benefits for which Scotland has always acknowledged herself indebted to St. Margaret: the foundation of her great schools of learning, the establishment of a large and flourishing commerce with continental Europe, the encouragement of the liberal and the industrial arts, and the enactment of wise and enlightened laws protecting the liberties and fostering the best interests of the people.

Of the nine children with whom her union was blessed, one, Ethelred, died in infancy, the eldest, Edward, was slain with his father before Alnwick Castle in 1093; of the others, three sons, Edmund, Edgar, and David, reigned successively on the throne of Scotland, continuing the Golden Age inaugurated by their parents: of her two daughters, Matilda or Maud became the wife of Henry I of England, and was her mother’s living image, and Edith was married to Eustace, Count of Boulogne, becoming in her turn the mother of her people.

Surely it was a beautiful life, this of the tempest-tossed royal child, born in exile far away from the land of her fathers, and then cast by the storm on the Scottish coast, like a treasure beyond all price to be cherished by king and people, and to live in the hearts of all succeeding generations.

With the mirror of this most admirable life before us, let us contemplate how every woman can in like manner make of her home a paradise, and be the loved and worshiped queen of the little kingdom which no one can take from her.

“You must have the courage and farsightedness to face all of your problems and must ask help from Him who is the source of all wisdom in the greatest and most worthy career a woman can espouse: being a real mother. The greatest joy you can find is in one day discovering that your daughters are as good as they are beautiful and your sons as pure as they are stalwart.”
Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik. The Catholic Family Handbook

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The saints assure us that simplicity is the virtue most likely to draw us closer to God and make us more like Him.

No wonder Jesus praised the little children and the pure of heart! In them, He recognized the goodness that arises from an untroubled simplicity of life, a simplicity which in the saints is completely focused on its true center, God.

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For our lives are complicated and our personalities too. (We even make our prayers and devotions more complicated than they need be!)

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Concentrated Attention – Fr. Narciso Irala, S.J.

A little psychology today….

Fr. Irala, S.J. was a Jesuit and a Catholic psychologist at a time when, in general, they could be trusted. In this article he talks about the importance of concentrated attention to achieve goals…temporal and spiritual. It is from the book “Mental Efficiency Without Fatigue” by Fr. Narciso Irala, S.J.

Painting by Gregory Frank Harris

CONCENTRATED ATTENTION

Our attention is concentrated when we pursue a single idea to the exclusion of others, or when the lamp of our intellect is focused on one object or on a small group of objects.

Concentration, therefore, is the reaction of our whole being to an attracting event or treasure; it is the habit of paying attention without effort; it is the following of a straight road that leads to our destination without our being led astray by attractions on the bypaths. We arrive more promptly and almost without weariness.

In like manner, he who studies a book, performs manual work or plans a business deal and becomes totally absorbed in it, forgetting himself and everything else, will obtain surprising results without lasting fatigue. Concentration brings efficiency and joy which results in maximum efficiency.

Lack of concentration brings fatigue and disgust which results in minimum efficiency.

The wear of one or more hours of perfect concentration without hurry or anxiety can be repaired by relaxing the brow and the eyes for a few minutes, by receiving conscious sensations, by performing physical exercises, etc.

One day of well-ordered mental work of this type can be amply compensated by a night of peaceful slumber. In this manner it is possible to continue for months and years with no danger of exhaustion. Since we are following nature’s own wise laws, we shall strengthen rather than destroy our mental equipment.

Nor should we think that this continued labor will result in boredom; the opposite is, in fact, true. For the unity of the concentrated mind and the resultant intellectual enrichment are sources of real satisfaction.

“Joy,” says Aristotle, “accompanies every perfect act.” The root of Napoleon’s human greatness was probably his power of concentration. When he studied a problem, he became so absorbed in it that it seemed he had nothing else to do. Having solved one problem, having made one decision, Napoleon went on to study another.

He used to say: “When I want to sleep, I close every drawer and I sleep. When I want to interrupt an affair, I close its drawer and open another one.” In this way, Napoleon managed to do mental work for sixteen hours a day. He was extraordinarily efficient because the unity of his mind gave strength and constancy to his decisions.

This power of concentrating our attention on what we study or undertake is the main, though not the only, element influencing mental ability and human greatness.

Concentration: Root of Human Greatness

The better our concentration, the greater our achievement. This truth holds a most encouraging prospect for us.

I once knew a student who possessed a remarkable gift of concentration. He was “made” for mathematics, so much so that he would begin his studies right after breakfast. Hour after hour he remained oblivious of himself and of all sound or movement around him. So absorbed was he in that deep and delightful concentration that he heard nothing, not even the bells.

When he completed studies at the University of Madrid, he emerged as the most gifted student ever to have passed through those halls. That extraordinary distinction was largely the result of his remarkable powers of concentration.

Improving the Powers of Concentration

Once concentration is appreciated as the main factor in efficiency and happiness, whatever means are suggested in the course of these pages should help to increase this power.

1. a) by removing causes of distraction and obsession;
2. b) arousing our interest and enthusiasm
3. c) making use of efficacious acts of the will;
4. d) improving the functioning of the human organism—its nerves, muscles, blood, respiration.

Stages in the Pattern of Concentration

Concentration does not develop suddenly. It is usually preceded by an initial period of ‘adjustment’ in which nerves and muscles, perhaps previously overstimulated, gradually adapt themselves to the new task, while the mind, setting aside other thoughts, penetrates ever more deeply into the present object of its attention. This is quickly executed by normal persons.

Melancholic and maniacal individuals require a longer time to delve into a new concentration. This may be because former ideas or images tend to persevere longer in them than in normal persons.

There follows a second period of `warm-up’ as a temporary state of readiness induced by activity and followed by the depth of the attention in which, after the first inertia has been overcome and the nerves and muscles have been adapted to the task, the mind really enters into the matter and becomes absorbed in it.

This abstraction from all other things and this profound consideration of the present subject may reach different degrees, and in proportion to these will be our efficiency and our joy.

Many people become deeply interested and are able to concentrate smoothly for one, two, or more hours with a single act of their will. In many others, however, attention is spasmodic or explosive, sustained by repeated impulses—perhaps because their interest does not thoroughly overcome inertia or because the will of a perfectionist is imposing an exaggerated goal.

On the other hand, children as well as inconstant, weak and sick persons do not possess such prolonged attention. They need frequently to renew their interest or acts of will.

Later on we shall explain how even normal persons should interrupt their concentration every one or two hours or more frequently if they develop any tension. Thus fatigue is avoided or at least postponed.

In the third period (saturation) attention weakens, concentration requires a greater effort, and weariness or boredom begins to emerge. It is at this moment that an interruption or a change of the object of concentration is necessary.

Unless this is done, the fourth period (fatigue) will quickly set in. During this period efficiency gradually lessens and weariness increases, together with a lack of interest, inhibition; and the annoyance caused by effort.

Practice for Improved Concentration

1. Always have a motive, a concrete, feasible goal for your work. For instance: ‘I want to enrich myself with, or to discuss the ideas of, this chapter.’ Such a desire is excellent to enforce concentration if it can be realized in one or a few hours. It will lose its efficiency, however, if you have to read for hours or days, unless that desire is reinforced through repetition.

So, make it easier by tackling one chapter or paragraph at a time. Say, “I want to discover and learn every useful thought of this chapter.” With this concrete and realizable goal, your willing will be efficient, and attention will follow.

That is what we do when, while reading a book or article, we underline any interesting information or when we make resumes of helpful paragraphs.

2. Begin courageously, even though you experience neither pleasure nor progress. Concentration will follow as spontaneously as does sleep, and without your being conscious of it or having to make an effort. Just start under favorable circumstances. Music or moderate sounds, chewing or whistling help some persons, but not all.

3. Resist the curiosity of knowing what is taking place around you.

4. Arouse interest and enthusiasm for what you are doing.

5. If either weakness or fatigue makes it difficult for you to concentrate on a full page of reading or on a short lecture, try without strain to be truly attentive for shorter periods several times a day.

During these attempts, the single objective should be, positively to follow calmly the development of the idea rather than, negatively, to avoid distraction. If distractions do occur, make an effort to return once more to the subject matter.

Normal concentration may quickly be achieved by paying strict attention to half a page of reading or by paying attention several times during, say, a ten-minute period, then gradually increasing the length of the period of attention.

6. Do not drink alcoholic beverages to stimulate your attention or your organism. In spite of the widespread opposite opinion, alcohol is a depressant, not a stimulant. In the beginning, it is true, you may feel self-confidence and optimism about your own performance. This happens because alcohol reaches the highest centers first, and so you think your mental work is better than it is. But the delaying effects are mental depression and emotional irritability.

7. Coffee and tea are stimulating and safe for those who need a “lift.” Their effect does not come immediately and it may last for a few hours. However, sleep may be disturbed as a result of large doses, the pulse accelerated, muscular steadiness decreased, and tremor may set in.

Concentration in Prayer

In study or natural mental work, the measure of our intellectual happiness is established by two factors: our interest in the object or truth discovered; the clarity with which we see it.

In prayer or in other supernatural mental work, these two factors attain unlimited proportions. The object studied is God who is total Truth and Beauty, and the light of Infinite Wisdom is added to the smaller lamp of human understanding.

If we cannot attain true efficiency and satisfaction in study, reading, or thinking without full concentration, much less shall we be able to step forward and enjoy the unsuspected delights of conversing with God unless we give him our full attention.

The life of God within us often implies sudden shafts of supernatural light, waves of superhuman satisfaction, anticipation of heaven, touches of divinity. These are the inspirations which suddenly illuminate undreamed-of horizons and treasures with almost intuitive evidence.

These are the affections and consolations often experienced by saints and by people of good will when they make a retreat or truly recollect themselves in prayer —consolations surpassing all earthly joys, impossible to be understood by those who have not experienced them. These are also motives clearly perceived in prayer which attract the will and facilitate what is difficult.

In an effort to make this clear and simple we may use this formula:

Attentive prayer=Root of Sanctity

Or, using RC to represent “Result of concentration into the divine,” we may say, RC

Efficiency+joy=Limitless

Fatigue+distaste=Nil

The soul that is not sufficiently recollected remains unaware of these divine sparks and consolations; rather, God refrains from giving them when he foresees that, because of the soul’s dissipation, they will be neither noticed nor appreciated.

If only we could enter with our whole being into conversation with God! If only we were fully attentive to what we say to Him in a brief vocal prayer!

If we would only listen to what God wishes to say to us in the intimacy of our prayer! God speaks, as a rule, only in the most intimate part of our being; we shall hear Him only through perfect concentration.

PRACTICAL RECAPITULATION

Aids to Concentration

Appreciate concentration as root of human greatness.

Remove obstacles, such as noises, conversation, etc.

Arouse interest and enthusiasm.

Desire concentration, convinced that it is possible.

Undertake concentration in a secluded place.

Begin each chapter or paragraph with solid motivation.

Make use of the period of ‘enthusiasm’ or ‘depth.’

Interrupt in the period of ‘pre-fatigue.’

Overcome distractions and compulsions

And St. Francis De Sales says: “The measure of Divine Providence acting on us is the degree of confidence that we have in it.” This is where the problem lies. Many do not believe in Providence because they’ve never experienced it, but they’ve never experienced it because they’ve never jumped into the void and taken the leap of faith. They never give it the possibility to intervene. They calculate everything, anticipate everything, they seek to resolve everything by counting on themselves, instead of counting on God. -Fr. Jacques Philippe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace http://amzn.to/2u1NCTd (afflink)

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